How awful would it be if my DD didn't attend her dad's wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Stop projecting.

+1

Sorry that your DH sucks as a father and has disengaged from his children of his first marriage. I suggest you work these issues out with a licensed therapist rather than posting this crap on DCUM repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

DP. You're fabricating the story you want this to be--dramatic, horrible mom and poor, beleaguered daddy just trying to see his darling girl. I think you've posted repeatedly now, rooting for dad and insisting that OP must be a witch, based only on your own desire to have dad be the good guy. Go back and look at the early post where OP lays out the calendar of her ex's marriages and break-ups. I guess you'll insist she is lying there too but...He sure sounds like a loser who thinks he's God's gift to repeat romance. A serial monogamist indeed. Wonder why you seem to need him to be the put-upon loving dad?

[Anonymous]

Good call OP. I would have done same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

DP. You're fabricating the story you want this to be--dramatic, horrible mom and poor, beleaguered daddy just trying to see his darling girl. I think you've posted repeatedly now, rooting for dad and insisting that OP must be a witch, based only on your own desire to have dad be the good guy. Go back and look at the early post where OP lays out the calendar of her ex's marriages and break-ups. I guess you'll insist she is lying there too but...He sure sounds like a loser who thinks he's God's gift to repeat romance. A serial monogamist indeed. Wonder why you seem to need him to be the put-upon loving dad?

She choose to marry the man knowing he was like that. So, she needs to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

From the OP "he could have scheduled it during his regular time with her."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

I’m the OP. Give it a rest already. This is all in the past at this point and you’re just being argumentative. If you had followed the thread, you’d know that I’m the full custodial parent and DD’s dad has regularly scheduled visitation (every other weekend plus one evening a week). He could have scheduled the wedding then. Alternatively, I offered to swap evenings with him for the event so that the wedding would have occurred on his night of the week. He declined the offer, presumably because he didn’t want to make arrangements for his child for the entire evening. Feel free to disagree with my decision based on the information I’ve presented, but your armchair psychology routine is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why don't you ask him what his childcare plans for her are during the event? If his response is that someone normal (a friend or relative that you know) will be watching her, hang out and take her home at 8:30. If his response is that he has no idea, say you think it won't work out unless he can arrange for someone to be responsible for her.


Should have included this in the OP... I did ask him about childcare plans and he said that the bride's mother would keep an eye on her. DD has never met the bride's mother.

I guess it depends on the kid, and whether you have reason to mistrust or question the ability of the bride's mother, then. My son would not have cared if he met the mother before, but he's pretty open to new people.

During dad’s regular time he can have whomever watch her. This seems more about OP not wanting to make a small change to switch visitation.

Actually, I would have switched visitation. He declined because that would have meant that he was responsible for her all evening. He would rather that I drop off/pick up.

And I have no opinion of the bride or her mother. I haven't met them. They are probably fine people.

Just like you, I was put out when my ex got remarried, but I sucked it up for my kid. She is now 10 and she would have killed me had she not been in those photos. She has a great relationship with her stepmom, so I am glad I sucked it up. I also can't imagine not knowing the women that my ex married. I, mean, she is helping raise my kid, so I made a point to be friendly from the get go. It was hard, but I did it. Now, I can't imagine not having her to help me when her dad is on travel, etc. His new job requires more travel, but we keep the set schedule, even if he is on business travel. Bottom line for me, my kid comes first. PERIOD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

I’m the OP. Give it a rest already. This is all in the past at this point and you’re just being argumentative. If you had followed the thread, you’d know that I’m the full custodial parent and DD’s dad has regularly scheduled visitation (every other weekend plus one evening a week). He could have scheduled the wedding then. Alternatively, I offered to swap evenings with him for the event so that the wedding would have occurred on his night of the week. He declined the offer, presumably because he didn’t want to make arrangements for his child for the entire evening. Feel free to disagree with my decision based on the information I’ve presented, but your armchair psychology routine is ridiculous.

This poor kid is going to resent the hell out of both of you. I read this and it's like my childhood all over again. You could be the bigger person here and do what is right for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

I’m the OP. Give it a rest already. This is all in the past at this point and you’re just being argumentative. If you had followed the thread, you’d know that I’m the full custodial parent and DD’s dad has regularly scheduled visitation (every other weekend plus one evening a week). He could have scheduled the wedding then. Alternatively, I offered to swap evenings with him for the event so that the wedding would have occurred on his night of the week. He declined the offer, presumably because he didn’t want to make arrangements for his child for the entire evening. Feel free to disagree with my decision based on the information I’ve presented, but your armchair psychology routine is ridiculous.

I am sorry you had a kid with a dud, but that was your choice, so you need to do what's right for your kid. I would be forcing him to take more time, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the dad/daughter relationship stops, look inward as you are probably the cause.

If they don’t have a relationship, the only person to blame is her dad. He has already canceled his next scheduled visitation.

No, she's blocking the contact. She could have brought the daughter and insisted on staying. She'll probably continue to block visitation and refuse contact and demand more child support wanting the new wife's money as well.

Please. Dad didn't even want his daughter in the wedding pictures, even if she was going to be there. Think about that for a second. She could have been there and still wouldn't have been included in the photos. Now tell me which parent is failing to foster the father-daughter bond. And he made clear that there wasn't going to be much contact between him and DD for the single hour that he wanted her there, since his new MIL would be tasked with watching the kid (not that MIL had been asked about this plan).

I'd love to hear dad's side. He probably compromised at an hour knowing that is at best what OP would allow. He knew OP was very difficult and restricting parenting time and it was a bunch of bad options. Its pretty telling that OP could not allow child to go for an hour. We don't know if MIL was asked to watch the child or not. You are hearing one side of the story. OP is looking to justify her behavior. They may have done pictures while child was there. OP keeps making things dramatic for her own needs.

Dad could have scheduled the wedding during his custodial time and it would not have been an issue

It doesn't sound like dad has custodial time and just visits. Its an hour. Many dads at best get 4 days a month visitation. How hard is it to be decent and let him have her for an hour? He probably got the location venue cheaper during the week/evening. Nothing wrong with that. If he picked a fancy expensive venue, you'd be screaming about how much he spent.

I’m the OP. Give it a rest already. This is all in the past at this point and you’re just being argumentative. If you had followed the thread, you’d know that I’m the full custodial parent and DD’s dad has regularly scheduled visitation (every other weekend plus one evening a week). He could have scheduled the wedding then. Alternatively, I offered to swap evenings with him for the event so that the wedding would have occurred on his night of the week. He declined the offer, presumably because he didn’t want to make arrangements for his child for the entire evening. Feel free to disagree with my decision based on the information I’ve presented, but your armchair psychology routine is ridiculous.

I am sorry you had a kid with a dud, but that was your choice, so you need to do what's right for your kid. I would be forcing him to take more time, not less.

How is she going to force her ex to spend more time with their child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why don't you ask him what his childcare plans for her are during the event? If his response is that someone normal (a friend or relative that you know) will be watching her, hang out and take her home at 8:30. If his response is that he has no idea, say you think it won't work out unless he can arrange for someone to be responsible for her.


Should have included this in the OP... I did ask him about childcare plans and he said that the bride's mother would keep an eye on her. DD has never met the bride's mother.

I guess it depends on the kid, and whether you have reason to mistrust or question the ability of the bride's mother, then. My son would not have cared if he met the mother before, but he's pretty open to new people.

During dad’s regular time he can have whomever watch her. This seems more about OP not wanting to make a small change to switch visitation.

Actually, I would have switched visitation. He declined because that would have meant that he was responsible for her all evening. He would rather that I drop off/pick up.

And I have no opinion of the bride or her mother. I haven't met them. They are probably fine people.

Just like you, I was put out when my ex got remarried, but I sucked it up for my kid. She is now 10 and she would have killed me had she not been in those photos. She has a great relationship with her stepmom, so I am glad I sucked it up. I also can't imagine not knowing the women that my ex married. I, mean, she is helping raise my kid, so I made a point to be friendly from the get go. It was hard, but I did it. Now, I can't imagine not having her to help me when her dad is on travel, etc. His new job requires more travel, but we keep the set schedule, even if he is on business travel. Bottom line for me, my kid comes first. PERIOD.

In your rush to judge you missed the part where OP's daughter wasn't even wanted for the pictures.