4 yo DD just called my xmas pancakes disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really am astonished at the number of post DS on this thread who think its psychologically damaging not to be able to open all your pr sends at one time. What fragile souls you must be.

Give it up. If that is what you got out of this long thread, you are damaged yourself.

+1

Ok, o wise one, enlighten me. What was I supposed to get out of the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hah. OP here, and I was NOT sock puppeting. I'm also not fat (unless you think being pregnant counts). And I'm hardly abusive or manipulative to my DD. I did wait all morning to eat, we don't often get to have meals together and I think of holidays as a time to do that. I truly didn't realize that that isn't common for Christmas. And I really don't care what any of you say, DD was totally in the wrong for calling the breakfast disgusting. And santa pancakes are just mini pancakes with whip cream and strawberries and powdered sugar on them. She had that and fruit on her plate, hardly anything difficult to down quickly. But definitely messy enough to keep in the kitchen. DH also supported me in getting her into the kitchen to eat.

And those of you saying I could have waited five minutes, DD was opening each present and wanting to take them out of the box to play with them. It would have taken hours! And you can happily ask Jeff if I'm sockpuppetting. I'm appalled by the number of parents who are okay with their children speaking like that. Four year olds know better. Sure, next year I may make breakfast more "mobile" but my not doing taht this year does not make me horrid. Those of you piling on should be ashamed of yourselves.

You have serious control issues, OP. You cannot let this go and continue with the same explanation of your behavior over and over and over again. I mean this in all sincerity - you need to see someone about this. Understand that right or wrong - a healthy person would have let the opinions of strangers go and not continued to defend herself and reasons. That fact that I, and others, think you are still dead wrong is irrelevant at this point. Your obsession with needing to convince anonymous internet strangers on Christmas is a far deeper issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is quite obviously a food-obsessed fat ass. Oink oink!

I don’t agree with the OP at all but this a bullshit statement.

Maybe this the progression ... from four year old who calls her food "disgusting" and is not reprimanded at all by her parents ... to DCUM bully who calls someone a "food-obsessed fat ass" for daring to want to eat breakfast with her family.

(I also think it's ironic because there are so many posts on here about how to create nice holiday memories, traditions, etc, many of which mention eating breakfast as a family, or opening some gifts and then stopping for a bit, etc. So here's the OP actually doing this, and people are going crazy. It's kind of funny.)

- not OP, and in fact not even Christian.

You can do that, but with a 4 year old, you're probably going to get whining or tears or bad behavior, as OP herself discovered. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really am astonished at the number of post DS on this thread who think its psychologically damaging not to be able to open all your pr sends at one time. What fragile souls you must be.

Give it up. If that is what you got out of this long thread, you are damaged yourself.

+1

Ok, o wise one, enlighten me. What was I supposed to get out of the thread?

DP. OP's DH already said it. Try to be a bit more forgiving. And try to be smarter than a 4 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 9-year-old just said "I hate you" to me. She was mad that another family member got a gift that she wanted. I also got her the same thing, but I didn't want to give it to her in front of the other family member, since I thought it would take away from the specialness for the other family member, since it was the only gift we got them and my daughter got a ton of stuff. When I tried to gently pull her toward me to whisper to her that she got one too, she pretended I hurt her (which I certainly did not), started crying, then said "I hate you."

Now I'm on DCUM venting and feeling like I've failed as a parent. Ugh.

Show her the gift that she wanted and then tell her she isn't going to get it now. Nine is NOT FOUR and your daughter is being a brat. You should start another thread - your situation has nothing to do with OP's situation unless you are also a narcissist and not telling us the whole story.

9 is not 4 I agree with you that pp's daughter seems to be a spoiled brat. But I've highlighted an area of interest to me it seems pp might be prone to be playing emotional games and her daughter is tired of it.

Yeah, I agree the 9 yo was rude & should have been reprimanded for it but the PP's actions in the highlighted portion of the post sound odd. If this was a gift the DD specifically asked for/ PP knew she really wanted, it seems mean to give her the impression that the PP for that particular gift for somebody else but not for her! Still doesn't make the DD's rudeness okay, of course, but giving & then taking away a much wanted gift on Christmas because of her somewhat understandable (but still rude & worthy of a reprimand!) reaction seems excessively cruel!

[Anonymous]

Oh FFS. I'm a NP who saw this thread earlier in the day but wanted to be with my family rather than sucked into DCUM. .

We get it. Maybe OP's day could have gone better if she had eaten a piece of cheese. But to call OP a tyrant on Christmas Day because she sent her DD to her room after she was mouthy on Christmas Day is just a new level of irony.

To put it another way, most of the folks here have been attacking OP for infringing on the sanctity of Christmas and presents...by spending your Christmas yelling at people on the internet and calling them fat instead of being with your own damn families.

May you learn how to be more charitable in 2018.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hah. OP here, and I was NOT sock puppeting. I'm also not fat (unless you think being pregnant counts). And I'm hardly abusive or manipulative to my DD. I did wait all morning to eat, we don't often get to have meals together and I think of holidays as a time to do that. I truly didn't realize that that isn't common for Christmas. And I really don't care what any of you say, DD was totally in the wrong for calling the breakfast disgusting. And santa pancakes are just mini pancakes with whip cream and strawberries and powdered sugar on them. She had that and fruit on her plate, hardly anything difficult to down quickly. But definitely messy enough to keep in the kitchen. DH also supported me in getting her into the kitchen to eat.

And those of you saying I could have waited five minutes, DD was opening each present and wanting to take them out of the box to play with them. It would have taken hours! And you can happily ask Jeff if I'm sockpuppetting. I'm appalled by the number of parents who are okay with their children speaking like that. Four year olds know better. Sure, next year I may make breakfast more "mobile" but my not doing taht this year does not make me horrid. Those of you piling on should be ashamed of yourselves.

You have serious control issues, OP. You cannot let this go and continue with the same explanation of your behavior over and over and over again. I mean this in all sincerity - you need to see someone about this. Understand that right or wrong - a healthy person would have let the opinions of strangers go and not continued to defend herself and reasons. That fact that I, and others, think you are still dead wrong is irrelevant at this point. Your obsession with needing to convince anonymous internet strangers on Christmas is a far deeper issue.

This, OP. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is quite obviously a food-obsessed fat ass. Oink oink!

I don’t agree with the OP at all but this a bullshit statement.

Maybe this the progression ... from four year old who calls her food "disgusting" and is not reprimanded at all by her parents ... to DCUM bully who calls someone a "food-obsessed fat ass" for daring to want to eat breakfast with her family.

(I also think it's ironic because there are so many posts on here about how to create nice holiday memories, traditions, etc, many of which mention eating breakfast as a family, or opening some gifts and then stopping for a bit, etc. So here's the OP actually doing this, and people are going crazy. It's kind of funny.)

- not OP, and in fact not even Christian.

You can do that, but with a 4 year old, you're probably going to get whining or tears or bad behavior, as OP herself discovered. Just sayin'.

Well, sure. But then following through with the usual consequence is just being consistent, and is hardly the massive trauma some of the posters here are making it out to be. And if, in fact, OP's daughter remembers this lesson because it's Christmas, is that such a bad thing? When I was four, I stole a lollipop from a store. Then I hid it in my dollhouse because I knew I wasn't supposed to eat it. My mom found it, worked out what had happened, and took me back to the store to apologize. It was humiliating. But I never forgot it and I never stole something again.

[Anonymous]

OP and others here who don't understand that eating pancakes and interrupting opening presents is not actually the point we are trying to make. OP is completely inflexible as shows with her updates. She is far from polite person she is claiming is her aim in raising her DD. She even used swear words in one of her updates. She can't see anybody else's point of view and realize that she handled the situation poorly. Her DD will not be damaged bcs she didn't open her presents, we are saying that OP is a rigid person who has shown that it is her way or the highway. Open minded person would have said, that in retrospect she should have had breakfast before opening presents, or brought a bowl to watch her DD open presents, we all help our young kids open presents and not play with them one at the time till the night, we say, "Hey, now this one, you will play later." She is acting as if we are all crazy and this is the cross to die for, when it is such a small incident that was poorly handled. It is like giving kids matches and then being surprised when they burn the house. She needs to have more realistic expectation and not be such a stick in the mud.

[Anonymous]

I’ll bet your pancakes were disgusting, just like your attitude, OP!!

[Anonymous]

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hah. OP here, and I was NOT sock puppeting. I'm also not fat (unless you think being pregnant counts). And I'm hardly abusive or manipulative to my DD. I did wait all morning to eat, we don't often get to have meals together and I think of holidays as a time to do that. I truly didn't realize that that isn't common for Christmas. And I really don't care what any of you say, DD was totally in the wrong for calling the breakfast disgusting. And santa pancakes are just mini pancakes with whip cream and strawberries and powdered sugar on them. She had that and fruit on her plate, hardly anything difficult to down quickly. But definitely messy enough to keep in the kitchen. DH also supported me in getting her into the kitchen to eat.

And those of you saying I could have waited five minutes, DD was opening each present and wanting to take them out of the box to play with them. It would have taken hours! And you can happily ask Jeff if I'm sockpuppetting. I'm appalled by the number of parents who are okay with their children speaking like that. Four year olds know better. Sure, next year I may make breakfast more "mobile" but my not doing taht this year does not make me horrid. Those of you piling on should be ashamed of yourselves.

So you come here asking if you should have handled things differently, and when people say yes, you think they should be ashamed of themselves?

I don't get why you even posted in the first place. Were you just hoping everyone would agree with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, don't listen to these people OP. Never okay to tell someone their food is disgusting. If your daughter did that to any of these posters under any circumstances, they would be posting about you as the mom the next day. Interrupting gifts to eat can be tricky depending on momentum. Still no reason to allow daughter to insult you.

OP here, I know! The only thing I'm getting from this is that my timing was probably off, but I can't imagine that it would ever be okay to tell someone that their food is disgusting! And it would be different if it were a really bad breakfast but my DD had been talking about these Santa pancakes all week! I actually thought she'd be mad that I made them without her (she usually begs to do pancakes together).

Funny thing is I do have a background in childhood development and I never would imagine it being okay for someone to let their child behave this way. I just don't have much of a background in Christmas. I didn't grow up Christian but we probably had 1 or 2 gifts, not the 10+ we give DD bt us and my family.

OP, I don't know how else to put this - you are certifiable.

Even if your 4 year old actually meant that the pancakes were disgusting, SHE IS 4 YEARS OLD. She isn't going to think about how her words are perceived, the time you spent making them, etc. SHE IS FOUR! And furthermore, you're totally nuts to be telling us that this situation is made even worse because, oh no, the pancakes were actually really good! Who cares?! She is a 4-year-old, not a culinary expert. Who cares if she really did hate them? Are you seriously offended by that? Grow up!

You could have nicely explained that it is more than okay to not like the meal (which, by the way, is a legitimate opinion regardless of how delicious you think the pancakes were), but that it is not okay to tell someone the food they just spent time making for you is disgusting because it could hurt their feelings/they worked hard on it/etc. Then you carry on with your meal. You need to teach children this, of course, but it can be done in a kind way.

But separately, she probably just threw out the only insult at her disposal because you were being a selfish jerk and making Christmas morning all about you instead of considering her while the rest of the normal parents were making Christmas all about their kids.

You sound ridiculously high maintenance and self-absorbed Its sad that you can't even pause to consider that you might have been in the wrong when an entire forum full of people has pointed it out repeatedly. Your poor family.

[Anonymous]

That's ridiculous, OP. You don't make kids stop opening presents on Christmas morning because you are hungry. For heaven's sake, grab a banana. When mine were little they mostly ate Christmas candy for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Christmas was hardly ruined. I'd be horrified if she said something so rude to anyone else. I had warned her she was going to have to pause to eat and I got up early to make sure the food was ready for her so she wouldn't have to wait long. Its not like I spanked her and she was in her room all of 2 minutes before coming to the realization that she should apologize.

She didn't need to apologize, idiot

You made her stop having Christmas so your pregnant ass could eat because God forbid you just grab a bite quickly until pancakes are ready

Listen moron, learn to read. Pancakes and fruit were ready. It would have taken her 5 minutes to scarf down the food. You need to learn to read. At least my children aren't going to grow up to become selfish brats. She's currently snuggling with me while reading one of her gifts. And she'll know not to say something so rude to others.

Am I the only one who noticed this post where OP's child was trying to snuggle with her and spend time with mom on Christmas morning, but OP was more interested in defending herself in DCUM than in spending time with her child?