Worked my butt off in the PTA and my son is in a "weaker" classroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the few MC parents in a title 1 school. Worked my butt off on the PTA board for 2 years, plus classroom volunteering, plus working directly with principal to organize events for the school.
Part of the deal as I saw it was that my son was in a stronger teacher's class last year, plus a stronger and better peer group in his class. He almost always got into free enrichment activities where there was a lottery, which I also saw as part of the deal (never was stated by anyone openly but I was even asked for a preference for a summer program).
Last year, I was asked about the preferences for my son's classroom placement, which I stated (3 of them: teacher, best friend, avoiding one other child). Well I saw the class lists today and I got ZERO of my requests fulfilled. I am fine with either teacher, I am more or less ok that his good friend is not with him, but there is a boy I specifically told the school my son had some run ins with and who is just plain disruptive and physically aggressive, and he is in my son's class. Also, I can see that his class is just weaker than the other one. Two kids who were held back a grade, one borderline special needs slow learner, and only one strong student besides him.
I am just so disappointed. I tried to stay loyal to the neighborhood school, tried to make it better, but now I am just tempted to transfer the kid to a more decent school a bit further away. I am drastically scaling down my PTA involvement this year for sure, and looking into other school options.

this is why I hate SAHM at school. Schools should be a PARENT FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1
The op's post is literally the worst.

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

How do bow ties and sashes benefit the children? How can that possibly be seen as a "need"?

I do think that volunteers do some wonderful thing for schools, but micromanaging children's clothing is the kind of thing I associate with busy bodies.

eh, some kids are more detail oriented than others are, especially in middle school. Some parents have time to look their own kids attire over. But sometimes kids come rushing in asking for someone to please tie their sash. Or maybe they need black socks to wear with their black orchestra pants.

Some of these kids will go on to play in competitions in front of judges so they definitely should be well versed in attire rules.

Wait, what???? You are doing this for middle schoolers???!!! I was picturing early elementary kids. Holy shit...

They don't start wearing formal concert uniform attire until middle school. So, yeah, it is new territory for them. And there a lots of little rules (right down to the color of hair ties and bobby pins).

Whose rules are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

You are stupid, the PTA helps teachers the most

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see the same three moms whenever I walk into my child's grade school. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, either. They are always there.

They sit with their child at the lunch table every day (my child says), which makes me feel sad for their child who never gets the chance to decompress with classmates. I volunteer occasionally, and I can feel these moms staring at me in the hallway as if I'm a cat about to mark their turf. It can feel unsettling.

In the long run, these hover moms aren't doing their child any favors.

Maybe the kids want their parents there. Maybe the kids have food allergies or SN. Not all kids are ok to do things on their own.

This is SCHOOL. It has never been intended to be a Mommy and Me activity. The entire point of school besides academics is to learn how to navigate in society as an individual. No matter what you tell yourself you are not helping your child if you view this as a tandem venture.

These responses are so uninformed - I assumed pp was referring to pre-k aged children, in which case whats wrong with a parent eating lunch with their child each day? What 3 or 4-year old needs to "decompress" with their friends? I work, so am not able to do something like that, but what a nice thing to be able to do with your young child, if time allows.

And seriously on the other moms staring at you, guarding their territory? Grow up. OP already established that such moms are too distracted plotting next year's teacher assignments to think about anyone else's volunteer efforts (or lack thereof). Mocking other parents'
involvement in school activities is a cheap way for uninvolved parents to rationalize their inaction. If you're not able to volunteer (for whatever reason!), that's absolutely fine - but why mock those that do or create drama where none likely exists? So toxic.

Sorry, I disagree. I teach high school and cultivating this idea that your kid needs you to help them through the elementary or middle day is a disaster for fostering independence and developing any individual identity outside of your family role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

You are stupid, the PTA helps teachers the most

With what?

25 year veteran teacher trying to think of a time when I've gotten meaningful help from the PTA/HSA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the few MC parents in a title 1 school. Worked my butt off on the PTA board for 2 years, plus classroom volunteering, plus working directly with principal to organize events for the school.
Part of the deal as I saw it was that my son was in a stronger teacher's class last year, plus a stronger and better peer group in his class. He almost always got into free enrichment activities where there was a lottery, which I also saw as part of the deal (never was stated by anyone openly but I was even asked for a preference for a summer program).
Last year, I was asked about the preferences for my son's classroom placement, which I stated (3 of them: teacher, best friend, avoiding one other child). Well I saw the class lists today and I got ZERO of my requests fulfilled. I am fine with either teacher, I am more or less ok that his good friend is not with him, but there is a boy I specifically told the school my son had some run ins with and who is just plain disruptive and physically aggressive, and he is in my son's class. Also, I can see that his class is just weaker than the other one. Two kids who were held back a grade, one borderline special needs slow learner, and only one strong student besides him.
I am just so disappointed. I tried to stay loyal to the neighborhood school, tried to make it better, but now I am just tempted to transfer the kid to a more decent school a bit further away. I am drastically scaling down my PTA involvement this year for sure, and looking into other school options.

this is why I hate SAHM at school. Schools should be a PARENT FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1
The op's post is literally the worst.

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

How do bow ties and sashes benefit the children? How can that possibly be seen as a "need"?

I do think that volunteers do some wonderful thing for schools, but micromanaging children's clothing is the kind of thing I associate with busy bodies.

eh, some kids are more detail oriented than others are, especially in middle school. Some parents have time to look their own kids attire over. But sometimes kids come rushing in asking for someone to please tie their sash. Or maybe they need black socks to wear with their black orchestra pants.

Some of these kids will go on to play in competitions in front of judges so they definitely should be well versed in attire rules.

Wait, what???? You are doing this for middle schoolers???!!! I was picturing early elementary kids. Holy shit...

They don't start wearing formal concert uniform attire until middle school. So, yeah, it is new territory for them. And there a lots of little rules (right down to the color of hair ties and bobby pins).

Whose rules are these? Why can't the kids just sing? Or sing with the wrong color bobby pin and learn what a ridiculous thing this is so they grow up and change it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

Equally bad?

Well, can't have it both ways, can we? People want all the benefits that the whole school enjoys because of the volunteer work of a few parents, but then they resent that these volunteers are in the school. At the same time none of these parents want to volunteer themselves.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

You are stupid, the PTA helps teachers the most

Not at my independent school. At our school, the PTA moms create silly projects for themselves, or spend their time "helping out" in the busy-work tasks we teachers are required to create for them. They spend their time in the classrooms spying on kids and then I get to listen to the (valid) complaints of parents whose children are slandered by the PTA mean girls: thanks to the PTA volunteer-moms, everyone knows which kids have special needs and beahvior issues! The two most enthusiastic PTA moms are loudmouthed pests, vicious gossips, and time wasters. They are despised by all teachers, I can assure you, but we have to grin and pretend to be grateful. I wish most of the PTA moms would just quit "volunteering" and get real jobs if they need to feel important.

[Anonymous]

How many hours does a super involved parent spend on PTA?

Seems it might be wiser to just get a part-time job and dedicate that income to sending the kid to private. College-educated woman could get a part time job paying $20,000 a year no sweat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many hours does a super involved parent spend on PTA?

Seems it might be wiser to just get a part-time job and dedicate that income to sending the kid to private. College-educated woman could get a part time job paying $20,000 a year no sweat.

Yes. I wish I could say this to the mean PTA moms who lurk in our school. Some of them do "work" at least part time hours with us! Can I just tell you how much time it takes to make up stupid busy work tasks for them? Or how my heart sinks every time I am compelled to attend one of their stupid events during my prep time or in the afternoon when I'm exhausted after a long day of (real) work? Many of them are very condescending to teachers, in addition to being bitches who gossip about other people's kids. I find it shocking that these women really believe they are contributing something important . I've worked at 4 schools in various places in my career, and it has been the same everywhere.

OK, I'm going to have to stay off this thread. It is not good for me to start the new school year already angry at these women.

But I fantasize about punching at least two of the PTA moms in the face: each of them has spread hideous gossip about vulnerable kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many hours does a super involved parent spend on PTA?

Seems it might be wiser to just get a part-time job and dedicate that income to sending the kid to private. College-educated woman could get a part time job paying $20,000 a year no sweat.

Yes. I wish I could say this to the mean PTA moms who lurk in our school. Some of them do "work" at least part time hours with us! Can I just tell you how much time it takes to make up stupid busy work tasks for them? Or how my heart sinks every time I am compelled to attend one of their stupid events during my prep time or in the afternoon when I'm exhausted after a long day of (real) work? Many of them are very condescending to teachers, in addition to being bitches who gossip about other people's kids. I find it shocking that these women really believe they are contributing something important . I've worked at 4 schools in various places in my career, and it has been the same everywhere.

OK, I'm going to have to stay off this thread. It is not good for me to start the new school year already angry at these women.

But I fantasize about punching at least two of the PTA moms in the face: each of them has spread hideous gossip about vulnerable kids.

You sound really horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many hours does a super involved parent spend on PTA?

Seems it might be wiser to just get a part-time job and dedicate that income to sending the kid to private. College-educated woman could get a part time job paying $20,000 a year no sweat.

Yes. I wish I could say this to the mean PTA moms who lurk in our school. Some of them do "work" at least part time hours with us! Can I just tell you how much time it takes to make up stupid busy work tasks for them? Or how my heart sinks every time I am compelled to attend one of their stupid events during my prep time or in the afternoon when I'm exhausted after a long day of (real) work? Many of them are very condescending to teachers, in addition to being bitches who gossip about other people's kids. I find it shocking that these women really believe they are contributing something important . I've worked at 4 schools in various places in my career, and it has been the same everywhere.

OK, I'm going to have to stay off this thread. It is not good for me to start the new school year already angry at these women.

But I fantasize about punching at least two of the PTA moms in the face: each of them has spread hideous gossip about vulnerable kids.

You sound really horrible.

And you sound like the sort of mom who "volunteers" to spy on kids so that you can spread malicious gossip about which kids are "bad" or "slow" or have special needs. Because the important thing is that those moms be allowed to "help" and feel important, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many hours does a super involved parent spend on PTA?

Seems it might be wiser to just get a part-time job and dedicate that income to sending the kid to private. College-educated woman could get a part time job paying $20,000 a year no sweat.

Yes. I wish I could say this to the mean PTA moms who lurk in our school. Some of them do "work" at least part time hours with us! Can I just tell you how much time it takes to make up stupid busy work tasks for them? Or how my heart sinks every time I am compelled to attend one of their stupid events during my prep time or in the afternoon when I'm exhausted after a long day of (real) work? Many of them are very condescending to teachers, in addition to being bitches who gossip about other people's kids. I find it shocking that these women really believe they are contributing something important . I've worked at 4 schools in various places in my career, and it has been the same everywhere.

OK, I'm going to have to stay off this thread. It is not good for me to start the new school year already angry at these women.

But I fantasize about punching at least two of the PTA moms in the face: each of them has spread hideous gossip about vulnerable kids.

You sound really horrible.

And you sound like the sort of mom who "volunteers" to spy on kids so that you can spread malicious gossip about which kids are "bad" or "slow" or have special needs. Because the important thing is that those moms be allowed to "help" and feel important, right?

Guess again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

Equally bad?

Well, can't have it both ways, can we? People want all the benefits that the whole school enjoys because of the volunteer work of a few parents, but then they resent that these volunteers are in the school. At the same time none of these parents want to volunteer themselves.

Bingo.

It's not a "want." People with real jobs "can't."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

You are stupid, the PTA helps teachers the most

With what?

25 year veteran teacher trying to think of a time when I've gotten meaningful help from the PTA/HSA.

I am sorry about your experience. I am a parent and at our school the pta reimbursed some of the classroom supplies, bought headphones for the kids, gave t shirts to teachers, organized lunches and coffees for teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

You are stupid, the PTA helps teachers the most

With what?

25 year veteran teacher trying to think of a time when I've gotten meaningful help from the PTA/HSA.

I am sorry about your experience. I am a parent and at our school the pta reimbursed some of the classroom supplies, bought headphones for the kids, gave t shirts to teachers, organized lunches and coffees for teachers.

You think that some Tshirts and coffee is the most help we get?

I think that fundraising for things like headphones is fine. I'm grateful for classroom supplies. But none of those things require a presence in the classroom. T shirts, lunches and coffees I could care less about.