Worked my butt off in the PTA and my son is in a "weaker" classroom

[Anonymous]

Here is an idea - why not pay the PTA volunteers for the work they do?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I see we are going a bit off topic But i don't mind.
I don't need to be paid for my work. I am scaling back now, even though I am happy now with the classroom placement, because some stuff is just more rewarding (in a way where you see the result for your child and others, and are free to work on a task without micromanagement) than other stuff.
In our school, we do not have too many events and celebrations, let alone fundraisers. Parents don't give anyway and it is a common understanding that we shouldn't ask them as they cannot afford to give. We do Walkathon, and a couple of PTA membership drives at the beginning of the school year, and a few celebrations like Halloween and multicultural potluck and a movie night. The book fair is handled by the librarian who is quite posessive about running it herself, which is fine by me.
I honestly think the teachers are heroes because they stay working at schools like ours, because there is so little appreciation from the parents. Maybe they like it because there are fewer nosy parents, too? Or maybe they feel that kids need them.

[Anonymous]

OP, just because a lot of the parents aren't as involved as you are doesn't mean they don't appreciate what everyone does for the kids. You are quick to pinpoint who you consider "MC" parents in each class, but maybe you shouldn't assume that the rest don't care about their kids' education. A lot of poor, hardworking people have pride, and they're not going to kiss your ass.

[Anonymous]

Lots of WOHM's getting pissy on this thread. It's very entertaining.

[Anonymous]

And this is why I will never buy a home mapped to a school with a high FARMS rate. Problem solved and no need to toil for the PTA. Other benefit is the parents are so involved there are too many volunteers. A lottery has to be taken for who gets to volunteer each day and there's cat fights over whose turn it is. No need for my kids be grand social experiments when we have the money for them not to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the few MC parents in a title 1 school. Worked my butt off on the PTA board for 2 years, plus classroom volunteering, plus working directly with principal to organize events for the school.
Part of the deal as I saw it was that my son was in a stronger teacher's class last year, plus a stronger and better peer group in his class. He almost always got into free enrichment activities where there was a lottery, which I also saw as part of the deal (never was stated by anyone openly but I was even asked for a preference for a summer program).
Last year, I was asked about the preferences for my son's classroom placement, which I stated (3 of them: teacher, best friend, avoiding one other child). Well I saw the class lists today and I got ZERO of my requests fulfilled. I am fine with either teacher, I am more or less ok that his good friend is not with him, but there is a boy I specifically told the school my son had some run ins with and who is just plain disruptive and physically aggressive, and he is in my son's class. Also, I can see that his class is just weaker than the other one. Two kids who were held back a grade, one borderline special needs slow learner, and only one strong student besides him.
I am just so disappointed. I tried to stay loyal to the neighborhood school, tried to make it better, but now I am just tempted to transfer the kid to a more decent school a bit further away. I am drastically scaling down my PTA involvement this year for sure, and looking into other school options.

this is why I hate SAHM at school. Schools should be a PARENT FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1
The op's post is literally the worst.

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

How do bow ties and sashes benefit the children? How can that possibly be seen as a "need"?

I do think that volunteers do some wonderful thing for schools, but micromanaging children's clothing is the kind of thing I associate with busy bodies.

eh, some kids are more detail oriented than others are, especially in middle school. Some parents have time to look their own kids attire over. But sometimes kids come rushing in asking for someone to please tie their sash. Or maybe they need black socks to wear with their black orchestra pants.

Some of these kids will go on to play in competitions in front of judges so they definitely should be well versed in attire rules.

Wait, what???? You are doing this for middle schoolers???!!! I was picturing early elementary kids. Holy shit...

[Anonymous]

I know I'm late to this thread but OP it is a damn shame you are so afraid of even borderline SN kids. It is a great experience for your son to be a model for them. All kids need to be modeled for in some areas and benefit modeling for in others. He will be fine and I promise you he can't catch SN. You should be so ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see the same three moms whenever I walk into my child's grade school. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, either. They are always there.

They sit with their child at the lunch table every day (my child says), which makes me feel sad for their child who never gets the chance to decompress with classmates. I volunteer occasionally, and I can feel these moms staring at me in the hallway as if I'm a cat about to mark their turf. It can feel unsettling.

In the long run, these hover moms aren't doing their child any favors.

Maybe the kids want their parents there. Maybe the kids have food allergies or SN. Not all kids are ok to do things on their own.

This is SCHOOL. It has never been intended to be a Mommy and Me activity. The entire point of school besides academics is to learn how to navigate in society as an individual. No matter what you tell yourself you are not helping your child if you view this as a tandem venture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm late to this thread but OP it is a damn shame you are so afraid of even borderline SN kids. It is a great experience for your son to be a model for them. All kids need to be modeled for in some areas and benefit modeling for in others. He will be fine and I promise you he can't catch SN. You should be so ashamed of yourself.

This particular child disrupts activities and is aggressive at times.
My son had another SN kid in his classroom last year and it was never an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm late to this thread but OP it is a damn shame you are so afraid of even borderline SN kids. It is a great experience for your son to be a model for them. All kids need to be modeled for in some areas and benefit modeling for in others. He will be fine and I promise you he can't catch SN. You should be so ashamed of yourself.

This particular child disrupts activities and is aggressive at times.
My son had another SN kid in his classroom last year and it was never an issue.

Stop defending yourself. You should still be ashamed. Honestly, you need to do your school a favor and go private so your precious genius DS doesn't ever have to interact with any of the kids you deem beneath him.

[Anonymous]

I learned that volunteering doesn't get you special treatment unless you push yourself on teachers. I will never be *that* person. Our PTO president gets in teacher's faces all day and I bet they hate her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And this is why I will never buy a home mapped to a school with a high FARMS rate. Problem solved and no need to toil for the PTA. Other benefit is the parents are so involved there are too many volunteers. A lottery has to be taken for who gets to volunteer each day and there's cat fights over whose turn it is. No need for my kids be grand social experiments when we have the money for them not to be.

I'm glad my daughter will never go yo school with stuck up snobs like you and your family. I hope your husband and you never lose your jobs or go bankrupt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you "volunteered" because you thought it would curry you favors with the principal with class placement? If you'd just stuck to sharing about how frustrated you were that your communicated request for separating your child from another wasn't met, I would have offered some helpful advice. But you had to throw in the part about expecting some preferential treatment because you volunteered.

You're an idiot, OP. You fail to see how your kid will be fine, even with some kids who learn differently. Even worse, though, is that you're an entitled idiot. Please stay in MD.

-Principal of a Title 1 school in Fairfax

The overwhelming number of parents who spend a lot of time volunteering, do so hoping for preferential treatment. Let's not kid ourselves.

And it is ALWAYS women doing this

Feminism at work currying favors.

More like bored SAHMS who have nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the few MC parents in a title 1 school. Worked my butt off on the PTA board for 2 years, plus classroom volunteering, plus working directly with principal to organize events for the school.
Part of the deal as I saw it was that my son was in a stronger teacher's class last year, plus a stronger and better peer group in his class. He almost always got into free enrichment activities where there was a lottery, which I also saw as part of the deal (never was stated by anyone openly but I was even asked for a preference for a summer program).
Last year, I was asked about the preferences for my son's classroom placement, which I stated (3 of them: teacher, best friend, avoiding one other child). Well I saw the class lists today and I got ZERO of my requests fulfilled. I am fine with either teacher, I am more or less ok that his good friend is not with him, but there is a boy I specifically told the school my son had some run ins with and who is just plain disruptive and physically aggressive, and he is in my son's class. Also, I can see that his class is just weaker than the other one. Two kids who were held back a grade, one borderline special needs slow learner, and only one strong student besides him.
I am just so disappointed. I tried to stay loyal to the neighborhood school, tried to make it better, but now I am just tempted to transfer the kid to a more decent school a bit further away. I am drastically scaling down my PTA involvement this year for sure, and looking into other school options.

this is why I hate SAHM at school. Schools should be a PARENT FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1
The op's post is literally the worst.

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

How do bow ties and sashes benefit the children? How can that possibly be seen as a "need"?

I do think that volunteers do some wonderful thing for schools, but micromanaging children's clothing is the kind of thing I associate with busy bodies.

eh, some kids are more detail oriented than others are, especially in middle school. Some parents have time to look their own kids attire over. But sometimes kids come rushing in asking for someone to please tie their sash. Or maybe they need black socks to wear with their black orchestra pants.

Some of these kids will go on to play in competitions in front of judges so they definitely should be well versed in attire rules.

Wait, what???? You are doing this for middle schoolers???!!! I was picturing early elementary kids. Holy shit...

They don't start wearing formal concert uniform attire until middle school. So, yeah, it is new territory for them. And there a lots of little rules (right down to the color of hair ties and bobby pins).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see the same three moms whenever I walk into my child's grade school. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, either. They are always there.

They sit with their child at the lunch table every day (my child says), which makes me feel sad for their child who never gets the chance to decompress with classmates. I volunteer occasionally, and I can feel these moms staring at me in the hallway as if I'm a cat about to mark their turf. It can feel unsettling.

In the long run, these hover moms aren't doing their child any favors.

Maybe the kids want their parents there. Maybe the kids have food allergies or SN. Not all kids are ok to do things on their own.

This is SCHOOL. It has never been intended to be a Mommy and Me activity. The entire point of school besides academics is to learn how to navigate in society as an individual. No matter what you tell yourself you are not helping your child if you view this as a tandem venture.

These responses are so uninformed - I assumed pp was referring to pre-k aged children, in which case whats wrong with a parent eating lunch with their child each day? What 3 or 4-year old needs to "decompress" with their friends? I work, so am not able to do something like that, but what a nice thing to be able to do with your young child, if time allows.

And seriously on the other moms staring at you, guarding their territory? Grow up. OP already established that such moms are too distracted plotting next year's teacher assignments to think about anyone else's volunteer efforts (or lack thereof). Mocking other parents'
involvement in school activities is a cheap way for uninvolved parents to rationalize their inaction. If you're not able to volunteer (for whatever reason!), that's absolutely fine - but why mock those that do or create drama where none likely exists? So toxic.