Wife quit job without telling me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm being real when I say this: you need to ask her why she was let go or fired and tell her you're not mad about that and can help her find a new job. She did not quit. Women with kids are not impetuous like that. They would not pull something that would so significantly affect their kids' well being for their own benefit. I'm saying this as a mom who knows tons of moms: there's a calculus we all run when it comes to making a decision. It nearly always means asking ourselves "how can I do this thing with minimal pain and discomfort or irritation to my kids and husband while bearing the maximum amount of inconvenience myself."

Big to small, we do this. It's why we run errands while the baby is napping or go out for girls night when the kids are in bed, or cancel a girls night without complaint when husband's work event comes up. It's just how moms are wired/ we do stuff for ourselves but we figure out a way first to minimize the negative impact for everyone else in the family.

She was fired and embarrassed to tell you but I really don't think she just quit knowing her job provides insurance and a much needed salary and is now unwilling to even discuss. Probe further.

X1000
As another working mom, this is very, very insightful & well said.

Sometimes I hate being a woman.

Bwahahahaha, join the club sister... we have great health benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm being real when I say this: you need to ask her why she was let go or fired and tell her you're not mad about that and can help her find a new job. She did not quit. Women with kids are not impetuous like that. They would not pull something that would so significantly affect their kids' well being for their own benefit. I'm saying this as a mom who knows tons of moms: there's a calculus we all run when it comes to making a decision. It nearly always means asking ourselves "how can I do this thing with minimal pain and discomfort or irritation to my kids and husband while bearing the maximum amount of inconvenience myself."

Big to small, we do this. It's why we run errands while the baby is napping or go out for girls night when the kids are in bed, or cancel a girls night without complaint when husband's work event comes up. It's just how moms are wired/ we do stuff for ourselves but we figure out a way first to minimize the negative impact for everyone else in the family.

She was fired and embarrassed to tell you but I really don't think she just quit knowing her job provides insurance and a much needed salary and is now unwilling to even discuss. Probe further.

X1000
As another working mom, this is very, very insightful & well said.

-- cue the swelling martyr music in the background --

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm being real when I say this: you need to ask her why she was let go or fired and tell her you're not mad about that and can help her find a new job. She did not quit. Women with kids are not impetuous like that. They would not pull something that would so significantly affect their kids' well being for their own benefit. I'm saying this as a mom who knows tons of moms: there's a calculus we all run when it comes to making a decision. It nearly always means asking ourselves "how can I do this thing with minimal pain and discomfort or irritation to my kids and husband while bearing the maximum amount of inconvenience myself."

Big to small, we do this. It's why we run errands while the baby is napping or go out for girls night when the kids are in bed, or cancel a girls night without complaint when husband's work event comes up. It's just how moms are wired/ we do stuff for ourselves but we figure out a way first to minimize the negative impact for everyone else in the family.

She was fired and embarrassed to tell you but I really don't think she just quit knowing her job provides insurance and a much needed salary and is now unwilling to even discuss. Probe further.

X1000
As another working mom, this is very, very insightful & well said.

-- cue the swelling martyr music in the background --

Your worthless ass was the beneficiary of a mom who did this too. All moms do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

Yup. Plus MOST families need two incomes. Single income living is a luxury that PP should be very grateful for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

And "true feminists" don't think that their husbands don't owe them anything for bearing them children? It really wasn't so long ago, in the history of the human race, that many women died in childbirth. Some still do. Back then, a mother who attended to the needs of the baby also helped ensure the survival of the baby. Feminism is modern thinking, but biology hasn't evolved yet to have men be the ones to bear children. The biological and developmental needs of children in their early years also haven't changed. I think men still owe women something for that.

[Anonymous]

^ And true feminists" don't think that their husbands owe them anything for bearing them children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

And "true feminists" don't think that their husbands don't owe them anything for bearing them children? It really wasn't so long ago, in the history of the human race, that many women died in childbirth. Some still do. Back then, a mother who attended to the needs of the baby also helped ensure the survival of the baby. Feminism is modern thinking, but biology hasn't evolved yet to have men be the ones to bear children. The biological and developmental needs of children in their early years also haven't changed. I think men still owe women something for that.

So talk to your husband, treat him like a human being. Don't give him ultimatums and put him in a situation where he and the kids lose health insurance FFS. How novel of a concept is that???

[Anonymous]

Many husbands love the fact their wife can afford to stay home. If they can afford it and fits their lifestyle that's all that counts. Everyone makes those decisions for themselves.

They don't get to dictate anyone else's lifestyle. It's a personal and economic decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many husbands love the fact their wife can afford to stay home. If they can afford it and fits their lifestyle that's all that counts. Everyone makes those decisions for themselves.

They don't get to dictate anyone else's lifestyle. It's a personal and economic decision.

This is SO NOT stay at home mom bash fest so stop trying to make it into one. It's about being and equal partner and making major, life-changing decisions as a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

And "true feminists" don't think that their husbands don't owe them anything for bearing them children? It really wasn't so long ago, in the history of the human race, that many women died in childbirth. Some still do. Back then, a mother who attended to the needs of the baby also helped ensure the survival of the baby. Feminism is modern thinking, but biology hasn't evolved yet to have men be the ones to bear children. The biological and developmental needs of children in their early years also haven't changed. I think men still owe women something for that.

So talk to your husband, treat him like a human being. Don't give him ultimatums and put him in a situation where he and the kids lose health insurance FFS. How novel of a concept is that???

In an ideal world. Op just learned something very important about his spouse. He needs to deal with the reality now and I don't think it should stop with only his DW getting a new job. What if she flakes out again in the next job? The new boss may not be willing to reinstate her. Fool me once......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

And "true feminists" don't think that their husbands don't owe them anything for bearing them children? It really wasn't so long ago, in the history of the human race, that many women died in childbirth. Some still do. Back then, a mother who attended to the needs of the baby also helped ensure the survival of the baby. Feminism is modern thinking, but biology hasn't evolved yet to have men be the ones to bear children. The biological and developmental needs of children in their early years also haven't changed. I think men still owe women something for that.

Hey dimwit--"true feminists" don't think ANYONE owes them anything. Imagine that.

[Anonymous]

95% of the time it's the woman that is so eager to have kids. Not saying men don't want kids, but this OWING something for bearing my children is over the top.

For the first several hundred years, men have borne the cost in blood to protect this country militarily (and still overwhelmingly do). What do you owe them for that? Men's contributions are consistently devalued by women because they can't "bear children". Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always based our bills on one income. People don't do this anymore. They live above their means in most cases. OP this seems to be your case, otherwise your wife should be able to take some time off to look for another job. Or have the choice to stay home with the kids.

Should he have the same choice then? Without consulting her? Just on a whim put everyone in jeopardy by cancelling their health insurance?


Women who call themselves feminists but somehow feel their husbands OWE them a home and a "stay at home" status really disgust me.

Singed,

A true feminist

And "true feminists" don't think that their husbands don't owe them anything for bearing them children? It really wasn't so long ago, in the history of the human race, that many women died in childbirth. Some still do. Back then, a mother who attended to the needs of the baby also helped ensure the survival of the baby. Feminism is modern thinking, but biology hasn't evolved yet to have men be the ones to bear children. The biological and developmental needs of children in their early years also haven't changed. I think men still owe women something for that.

Husband owe her for bearing children? WFT. The day she decides to procreate, she owes her children her life for bringing them to the world.

- DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many husbands love the fact their wife can afford to stay home. If they can afford it and fits their lifestyle that's all that counts. Everyone makes those decisions for themselves.

They don't get to dictate anyone else's lifestyle. It's a personal and economic decision.

Did you lose your brain after you quit your job?