Why can't folks that send their kids to average colleges ever admit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the big issues with OPs statement is that there doesn't seem to be a clear definition of an "average" college as opposed to an "above average" college. OP, what's your definition of an "average" college? I'd say that the top 50 national universities (as ranked by USNWR) are above average. The same goes for the top 50 LACs. Would you accept that definition OP?

No. Average to below. Top twenty: above average. Top ten: excellent.

Out of the top fifty: don't even bother. It's not worth the paper it's printed on.

Yeah, those people should just go work at Jiffy Lube. How dare they?

I wouldn't send them to Jiffy Lube, but I won't clear out my savings, retirement, home equity to send my children to a low ranked undergrad. And I most certainly wouldn't bend over backwards to spin that the college is some great place — which every parent of average kids does. Just give it a rest.

In my view, a "great" school is one that is great for my child. There is no school that is objectively "great" unless it will provide my child with the environment and opportunities he needs.

My college sophomore scored 2380 on his SATs and is at a school that OP would deem "average." It is the perfect fit for him, and it is affordable for us - he'll graduate with zero debt.

It is a great school for him.

Great *for him*. There we go. Justifying. This proves OP's point.

Actually, it contradicts OP's point. Many of us are not interested in brand names. We are interested in an education that works for our specific children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other thing the OP fails to realize is this: For most of us, we're aware of our kid's strengths and weaknesses, quirks and character long before they apply to college. It's not like we encourage our average kids to apply to Harvard and then are bitterly disappointed when they don't get it, and get angry and disillusioned and jealous of people whose kids did.
Most of us parted paths with the Amy Chua's at our kid's schools many years ago -- when it became obvious that our kids weren't going to be marching lock step into an Ivy. Maybe our kids are quirky and didn't really seem interested in taking 12 AP's and really just wanted to be on a swim team, or maybe they have other skills or maybe they don't. But most of us started realizing who our kids were by the time they were in middle school and by that point it was already too late to send them back. We loved them too much!

I can't imagine what kind of a cretin is bitter and disappointed by the kids they got, or what sort of a weirdo thinks a parent should feel bad because all they got was a great kid who loves them. Go visit the CHildren's cancer ward and ask those parents if they'd be disappointed if their child went to an average college. Most would be pretty thrilled if their child lived to adulthood.

Thank you for saying this. One of my best friends lost her son when he was 3.
Priorities, people.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing they wouldn't "admit it" to OP, as OP is a judgemental asshole.

But probably among close friends, they discuss their children's strengths and weaknesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The other thing the OP fails to realize is this: For most of us, we're aware of our kid's strengths and weaknesses, quirks and character long before they apply to college. It's not like we encourage our average kids to apply to Harvard and then are bitterly disappointed when they don't get it, and get angry and disillusioned and jealous of people whose kids did.
Most of us parted paths with the Amy Chua's at our kid's schools many years ago -- when it became obvious that our kids weren't going to be marching lock step into an Ivy. Maybe our kids are quirky and didn't really seem interested in taking 12 AP's and really just wanted to be on a swim team, or maybe they have other skills or maybe they don't. But most of us started realizing who our kids were by the time they were in middle school and by that point it was already too late to send them back. We loved them too much!

I can't imagine what kind of a cretin is bitter and disappointed by the kids they got, or what sort of a weirdo thinks a parent should feel bad because all they got was a great kid who loves them. Go visit the CHildren's cancer ward and ask those parents if they'd be disappointed if their child went to an average college. Most would be pretty thrilled if their child lived to adulthood.

Thank you for saying this. One of my best friends lost her son when he was 3.
Priorities, people.

Yes. A family friend lost her son to a freak illness when he was 16. One day the picture of health, 4 days later dead. She would give anything to be helping him fill out applications to average colleges.

Cretin is the right word to describe OP.

[Anonymous]

Average by what definition. There are over 4,000 colleges and universities in the United States. I would say anything above 2,000 is above average and anything below is below average. OP is a fool!

[Anonymous]

At a recent wedding reception, Dude thought he was impressing my sister:

Dude: Where do you go to school?
Sister: University of Florida
Dude: I go to Harvard.
Sister: Really? Where's that?

Boom! Drops mic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They always bend over backwards to say it doesn't matter what college you go to (or only graduate school matters), or how it has a great honors program (proven to be a marketing scam), or how some low-status niche major they offer is world class, rattle off a couple rich alums of the hundreds of thousands that are just regular Joes, blah blah blah. It's all so desperate.

Why can't they just admit they raised an Average Eddie who goes to a normal college? ¯\_(?)_/¯

The insecurity and shallowness that is evident in your question is what reeks of desperation. Anyone who depends on external factors to value themselves or others is a simply a fool. Do you think everyone has the same opportunities and advantages? Do you really think a person's worth is summed up by where they went to school? And why do you privilege one metric (college admission) over others like musical talent, athletic prowess, emotional intelligence, leadership, etc.

I remember there was a cohort of boys in high school that were so captivated by Ayn Rand and the belief in their own superiority. Mostly, they were a bunch of otherwise loser-ly social misfits that were deeply frustrated that girls weren't attracted to them. Funny thing is that none of them did manage to get into elite schools and the couple that did never got very far in life. I have a suspicion that you might resemble them in a lot of ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a recent wedding reception, Dude thought he was impressing my sister:

Dude: Where do you go to school?
Sister: University of Florida
Dude: I go to Harvard.
Sister: Really? Where's that?

Boom! Drops mic!

I have similar story from a friend but the guy went to West Point. Turns out the girl did know what it was but thought he was being cocky. They got married.

[Anonymous]

My kid (high test scores, above-average grades, no major hooks or sports)* has been drawn to the more "average" (according to DCUM) schools during his search. I don't think he'd relish the competitive atmosphere at the big-name schools, nor is he terribly impressed with the schools everyone else is striving for.

Part of this might be from not being particularly social; part from being young for his grade. I know kids can have great outcomes no matter where they end up applying.

*This description likely makes him "average" in the eyes of DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because some kids actually prefer to go to Virginia Tech over UVA.

This type of comment partly answers OP's question. On DCUM VT is considered an average college. However in your typical H.S. the average students are not admitted to Tech. So part of it depends on what your definition of average is.

We live in crazy area. People terribly downgrade VaTech.
VaTech is absolutely great technical school, in my books it is much better for Engineering than UVA or UMCP.
2 of my kids dreaming about GaTech (my alma matter). I would not even consider Ivy for Engineering when GaTech and VaTech are absolutely great technical public schools.
I do not get that Ivy obsession. No Ivy for my kids. I am not going to pay $60 a kid a year no matter what. Call me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a recent wedding reception, Dude thought he was impressing my sister:

Dude: Where do you go to school?
Sister: University of Florida
Dude: I go to Harvard.
Sister: Really? Where's that?

Boom! Drops mic!

That's just stupid of your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid (high test scores, above-average grades, no major hooks or sports)* has been drawn to the more "average" (according to DCUM) schools during his search. I don't think he'd relish the competitive atmosphere at the big-name schools, nor is he terribly impressed with the schools everyone else is striving for.

Part of this might be from not being particularly social; part from being young for his grade. I know kids can have great outcomes no matter where they end up applying.

*This description likely makes him "average" in the eyes of DCUM!

DS gets good grades, has good test scores, but has aimed his sights at less competitive colleges with good academics. He's told interviewers he does not want to go to a college filled with hyper-competitive kids. He wants a school with a cooperative atmosphere. The kids who've fought all their lives to climb to and stay at the top so they can get into HYP are not the kids my DS wants to attend college with.

The insanity of some parents about getting their kids into the "best" colleges bewilders me. The "best" school is the one that's best for my kid. Period.

OP is thoroughly obnoxious, BTW. Ugh. They type of parent I steer clear of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a recent wedding reception, Dude thought he was impressing my sister:

Dude: Where do you go to school?
Sister: University of Florida
Dude: I go to Harvard.
Sister: Really? Where's that?

Boom! Drops mic!

That's just stupid of your sister.

Yeah she'll prob marry some guy who guy who wears jean shorts when she could have scored a Harvard man. Dumb move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because some kids actually prefer to go to Virginia Tech over UVA.

This type of comment partly answers OP's question. On DCUM VT is considered an average college. However in your typical H.S. the average students are not admitted to Tech. So part of it depends on what your definition of average is.

We live in crazy area. People terribly downgrade VaTech.
VaTech is absolutely great technical school, in my books it is much better for Engineering than UVA or UMCP.
2 of my kids dreaming about GaTech (my alma matter). I would not even consider Ivy for Engineering when GaTech and VaTech are absolutely great technical public schools.
I do not get that Ivy obsession. No Ivy for my kids. I am not going to pay $60 a kid a year no matter what. Call me crazy.

They will call you a plebe and a bad parent, but feel free to ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid (high test scores, above-average grades, no major hooks or sports)* has been drawn to the more "average" (according to DCUM) schools during his search. I don't think he'd relish the competitive atmosphere at the big-name schools, nor is he terribly impressed with the schools everyone else is striving for.

Part of this might be from not being particularly social; part from being young for his grade. I know kids can have great outcomes no matter where they end up applying.

*This description likely makes him "average" in the eyes of DCUM!

DS gets good grades, has good test scores, but has aimed his sights at less competitive colleges with good academics. He's told interviewers he does not want to go to a college filled with hyper-competitive kids. He wants a school with a cooperative atmosphere. The kids who've fought all their lives to climb to and stay at the top so they can get into HYP are not the kids my DS wants to attend college with.

The insanity of some parents about getting their kids into the "best" colleges bewilders me. The "best" school is the one that's best for my kid. Period.

OP is thoroughly obnoxious, BTW. Ugh. They type of parent I steer clear of.

I'm the PP you quoted. I wish we were friends, and that our kids were friends. You said it better than I did. My kid has applied to some great smaller, less-cutthroat schools.