Crazy shit my mom says

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom also told me never to shave above my knees! I believed her until I was in college.And I'm a mom and hate the word 'fart'! We use 'poot'. Probably because my mom wouldn't let us say it either. She calls it 'passing gas.'

Why? I've never heard this particular piece of wisdom. What's wrong with shaving above your knees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom also told me never to shave above my knees! I believed her until I was in college.And I'm a mom and hate the word 'fart'! We use 'poot'. Probably because my mom wouldn't let us say it either. She calls it 'passing gas.'

Why? I've never heard this particular piece of wisdom. What's wrong with shaving above your knees?

We use "toot" in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once, when I was talking with my mother on the phone, she randomly started going on and on and on about how miniature horses make great seeing eye guide animals.

A few days later, I talked with my sister and found out that mom had told her about the miniature horses, too, and also at great length.

That was a couple of years ago, and even now just mentioning miniature horses will get her going on the topic. I don't know why she's so enthusiastic about miniature seeing eye horses.

I totally just woke up the baby laughing at this. And I could hear my mom saying it, too. Awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another:

"Underpants that aren't cotton will give you a yeast infection"

WTF?? Well at least was never true for me.

Oh, there are a LOT of people who believe this nonsense. Someone here said wearing nylon panties was "like wrapping your vagina in saran wrap" or something like that.

All the medical advice out there suggests cotton underwear because it is breathable. Air means that the yeast don't grow as quickly. So, yes, it does make medical sense to wear cotton undies--or no underwear at all.

My experience is the opposite. Cotton holds on to moisture and becomes less breathable and much less comfortable. I'm keeping my saran wrap underwear.

But isn't this mostly true if you are sweating up a storm? So, no cotton undies for working out. But otherwise, when you aren't sweating or when your underwear is dry, cotton is better?

I think this used to be true, but the new performance fabrics are better at wicking away moisture than cotton--you'd never wear cotton long underwear for skiing these days.

[Anonymous]

My mom is pretty normal. But, my grandma called anything plastic Melmac. It used to drive my mom nuts! She would come over and ask where the Melmac serving bowl was. She also "looked at the tv, to enjoy her stories." Oh and she "washed" her teeth and she called Grandpa..Daddy.

[Anonymous]

Why? I've never heard this particular piece of wisdom. What's wrong with shaving above your knees?

I think it was supposed to be bad for your delicate thigh skin? I honestly don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why? I've never heard this particular piece of wisdom. What's wrong with shaving above your knees?

I think it was supposed to be bad for your delicate thigh skin? I honestly don't know.

My mom said that the skin above the knees would get rough and man-like if you shave it! She also told me if I reached above my head while pregnant that the umbilical cord would strangle my baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why? I've never heard this particular piece of wisdom. What's wrong with shaving above your knees?

I think it was supposed to be bad for your delicate thigh skin? I honestly don't know.

My mom said that the skin above the knees would get rough and man-like if you shave it! She also told me if I reached above my head while pregnant that the umbilical cord would strangle my baby.

Is it because the hair on that part tends to be fine and light? But once you start shaving, it grows and becomes darker and more course. So better to just leave it alone or face the consequence of having to shave it for the rest of your life, if you shave your legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to tell people she was a tea bagger until I told her what that was.

LOL!

What was she trying to say, that she was a Tea party supporter?

Yep

[Anonymous]

Whenever I didn't like a picture of myself she's say "but that's what you look like." I wasn't saying it was a poor likeness - it was a photograph after all - I was just saying I didn't like the way I came across in it! Also - my mom had eating issues - we once drove past a sign that said "local strawberries" and she got all excited thinking they were lo-cal, as in low calorie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up we were not allowed to say "fart," (a bad word!). The word we used was "rifter." I have never heard anyone else, ever, use that word. We are 100% American, fwiw. Thanks, Mom, for dooming us to geek status.

We weren't allowed to use it either. We said "tussy noise." Now we call it gas or toot in our house.

We weren't allowed to say "fart" either, but we said "fuffy" which I think is way worse than "rifter". We call it "toot" in our house now, too.

My mom called farts "bubbles" because when you fart in a bath it bubbles up.

[Anonymous]

NP here. JUST reminisced about this with my brother:

Mom was so sure we'd die in a car accident as teenagers that she'd always ask if we had ID on us when we left the house so she "wouldn't have to wait weeks while they tried to ID the body."

Yes, clearly she has issues.

File this under things I will never, ever say to my DD.

[Anonymous]

Ha! My mom used to tell us to always wear clean underwear in case we were in an accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. JUST reminisced about this with my brother:

Mom was so sure we'd die in a car accident as teenagers that she'd always ask if we had ID on us when we left the house so she "wouldn't have to wait weeks while they tried to ID the body."

Yes, clearly she has issues.

File this under things I will never, ever say to my DD.

Is your mom Jewish, by any chance? We are, and I actually had to go to therapy with my mother over the fact that she'd never let me get off the phone. She also takes 2 hours to say goodbye in person. I began avoiding phone calls altogether with her because I'd want to have a 20 minute call and it'd take her 20 minutes to say goodbye. There was always one more thing. Sometimes I'd wind up literally SCREAMING at her "MOM! I TOLD you, I have to GO! LET ME GOOOO!" and she'd be like, "Okay, oh, but Hannah-Rosie I just wanted to mention ... I saw a commercial and thought of you. It was for a seeing miniature horse." And I'd bang my head against the wall because I am not blind and do not have a horse fetish.

So we're at the therapist's office and the woman says, "Well what's going to happen if Hannah hangs up before you're finished? I mean, can't you just talk the next time? What'll happen? Will you DIE?" AND MY MOTHER SAID "YES, MAYBE." WTF!

[Anonymous]

My mom once took out her Saks Fifth Avenue bill and showed me the list of store locations. She said "As long as you live in a community on this list, you will always be near educated, like minded people. Oh, look at that, there's one in Tulsa!?"