SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

If this is not what you intended OP you should go back and read your initial post and realize how condescending it came across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP (the real one) here. Wow, cant beleive that this is on page 11. Seems like there are some follow-up posts being attibuted to me so I want to point out that is my third post on this thread (have been busy reviewing resumes). I will ask Jeff to take this down or lock it bc its taken a turn that I did not intend.Pack to the pile.

really? I am a WOHM and I find that comment disingenous.

I meant to highlight the other section too.

[Anonymous]

"Maybe the question should be, what sort concessions in the hiring process should we give those who step out of the work force to care for others (e.g., children, parents, other family members needing care). "

The federal government can feel free to give any concessions it wishes. As a private business owner, I have to do what's in my economic interest. Are you talking about concessions like veteran and minority preferences? Do we really want to go that route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP (the real one) here. Wow, cant beleive that this is on page 11. Seems like there are some follow-up posts being attibuted to me so I want to point out that is my third post on this thread (have been busy reviewing resumes). I will ask Jeff to take this down or lock it bc its taken a turn that I did not intend.

Pack to the pile.

I don't think anyone was assuming you were replying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Maybe the question should be, what sort concessions in the hiring process should we give those who step out of the work force to care for others (e.g., children, parents, other family members needing care). "

The federal government can feel free to give any concessions it wishes. As a private business owner, I have to do what's in my economic interest. Are you talking about concessions like veteran and minority preferences? Do we really want to go that route?

Not either PP

But I'm all for concessions IF both men and women took advantage of them. But until men step up and take more responsibility for their children or their aging parents, we will always be second class citizens in the workforce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Agree.

And here is the basic issue (finally). Isn't this REALLY about the WOHM interviewer not wanting to feel like she didn't raise her kids? Look, work/life issues are tough choices, and maybe both SAH or WOH choices are imperfect. The only difference is that once the SAHM reenters the workforce, the WOHM has a mommy-powerplay moment. I think some of us on this thread are reacting to the nastiness of a WOHM/interviewer enjoying the opportunity to mock the SAHM reentering the workforce.

I stayed at home with my kids and re-entered the workforce after a number of years. I kept up my skills and even did some freelance jobs to keep up my resume. Nevertheless, interviewing with women was uncomfortable many times because of these issues. I hate to say it but men were much more non-plussed about the time away from a corporate job.

HAHAHA! Maybe the (smart) working women didn't like that you tried to use big words and used them completely incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP (the real one) here. Wow, cant beleive that this is on page 11. Seems like there are some follow-up posts being attibuted to me so I want to point out that is my third post on this thread (have been busy reviewing resumes). I will ask Jeff to take this down or lock it bc its taken a turn that I did not intend.

Pack to the pile.

Man here. I'm sure Jeff, as the owner of a site that makes money by getting page views, will gladly take down your post. Cmon now, are you going to tell me that you didn't get exactly what you were looking for when you started this topic? Really? Liar liar pants on fire!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I don't want to work with someone who thinks I didn't raise my children properly because I chose to work. I don't think those kinds of women deserve to work. I'd rather hire someone else.

I said it.

Do you work because you love what you do or because you need to work to survive?

Both. I need the money. But if I didn't, I would still work. Your point? I'm interested.

Let me say, another reason I wouldn't want to work with such a person is because I generally find people that hold that kind of opinion to be close-minded. Not an asset in the workplace, and often a liability. And someone who made that kind of opinion known in an interview? Not very good judgment on their part.

My attitude and opinions were similar to yours when I hated my job and was working to pay the bills. Now that I am happier with my career, I changed career fields, I feel a lot differently. I think my view was changed by the lack of work ethic of my old co-workers. I was a bitter worker at the time which fit with the workplace environment that I was in.

Huh. Well, I definitely don't hate my job. I do hate that there is a meme out there about how moms who work, whether by choice or necessity, don't deserve to be mothers. That meme is being perpetuated by men who would like nothing more than to hold ambitious women back...including their wives, who buy into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Are we now entering the "repost and respond" phase of this topic? If so, please let me know so I can stop looking for original thoughts.

Thanks

You should stop reading. You, obviously, have nothing useful to contribute anyway.

Yep. You're right. You women have got this one all figured out yourselves. We men will just sit on the sidelines and watch the battle.

Thanks for proving (twice) that men can be catty bitches, too. Welcome to the club!

Thanks! Can I have my V-card?

V-card means you are a virgin. Nice try with the slang there, though! Maybe leave the "rad" neologisms to the kids, "a'ight"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I don't want to work with someone who thinks I didn't raise my children properly because I chose to work. I don't think those kinds of women deserve to work. I'd rather hire someone else.

I said it.

Do you work because you love what you do or because you need to work to survive?

Neither. I work because I'm good at what I do and it benefits my family as well as me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Are we now entering the "repost and respond" phase of this topic? If so, please let me know so I can stop looking for original thoughts.

Thanks

You should stop reading. You, obviously, have nothing useful to contribute anyway.

Yep. You're right. You women have got this one all figured out yourselves. We men will just sit on the sidelines and watch the battle.

Thanks for proving (twice) that men can be catty bitches, too. Welcome to the club!

Thanks! Can I have my V-card?

V-card means you are a virgin. Nice try with the slang there, though! Maybe leave the "rad" neologisms to the kids, "a'ight"?

Damn! You got me on that one. I knew I'd heard that slang before. I better check urbandictionary.com next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the consensus is to just respond to any question of absence in employment with what?

Ha! The consensus apparently is DON'T STAY HOME WITH THE KIDS because if you do, you should just roll over and die rather than attempt to apply for employment. Staying at home for any period of time = career DEATH so DON'T DO IT!

(Although I have to say, I stayed home with kids for several years, and somehow managed to get employed thereafter. And yes, I DID address the 8 year gap on my resume in the cover letter -- briefly -- where it seemed appropriate. It really didn't seem to be a big issue, but my skills were in high demand, so I'm sure that made a difference.

Really not sure why it isn't appropriate to address this in a cover letter, but I absolutely agree you shouldn't bring up kids AT ALL in the interview. The interview should be all about the job and how you are perfect for it -- not about work life balance or time off or sick leave or how you can telecommute to make it easier to pick up your kids. Anyone who interviews talking about how their kids come first -- i can see why that person wouldn't get the job.

Your post is almost totally irrelevant to most SAHMs nowadays, because you say that your skills were in high demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Why is it different for purposes of hiring and employment?

Because the mother is dead. The kids that caused the mom to SAH are presumably still alive.

But if the kids are in school full time, wouldn't it make sense to seek employment?

Again, hilarious. Do you not have children at all, or are yours still babies? You can't work full time even if your children are in full time school without before- and/or afterschool care, not to mention care for the random teacher workdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is not what you intended OP you should go back and read your initial post and realize how condescending it came across.

I know. I'm a WOHM and I cringed when I read it. OP must be really naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Maybe the question should be, what sort concessions in the hiring process should we give those who step out of the work force to care for others (e.g., children, parents, other family members needing care). "

The federal government can feel free to give any concessions it wishes. As a private business owner, I have to do what's in my economic interest. Are you talking about concessions like veteran and minority preferences? Do we really want to go that route?

Not either PP

But I'm all for concessions IF both men and women took advantage of them. But until men step up and take more responsibility for their children or their aging parents, we will always be second class citizens in the workforce.

You have to be more specific for this idea to get any traction. What about men and women who never take advantage of any time out of the workplace? There should be advantages to that.