Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have lots of kids? LOL
My friend, whose DH is a physician that works long hours, gave up her career and had 4 kids. She's definitely not lonely anymore. Not sure that she's happy though.

Can you find someplace to volunteer on weekends for now?

She’s not *alone* but she’s likely still lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all have a responsibility and choice in how we approach life. Sitting around and feeling sad because you are “lonely” isn’t going to improve anyone’s life. Your husband works long hours. That’s just a fact - military spouses and many others gave this, too. Figure out what you want your life to look like and make it happen. It’s not your spouse’s job to fulfill every need. My spouse needed to commute internationally for 2 years and traveled for 2-3 weeks at a time. Was it traditional? Not - but the kids and I made the best and we had a very full life when he was gone. And we enjoyed it immensely when he was home. Complaining about it would have nothing to make the situation better.

OP, you should really think about what is important to you and make it happen (hobbies, travel, volunteer, book club, exercise communities, faith communities, etc.). Sitting around being resentful of your spouse literally doesn’t do anything to make the situation better.

+1. I'm not married to a doctor, but, I have a spouse who travels 30% of the time internationally. He is gone, a lot. Complaining and thinking about being alone are not going to help anything. You have to be persistent about making friends and finding meaningful hobbies to fill your time. I value my independence a lot. There are times I miss my spouse, but, I rarely feel lonely.

[Anonymous]

Yu need to find a friend group, or divorce and marry a guy who is home more.

[Anonymous]

This thread is LONG so didn’t read much if the replies. My MD hubby has been out of training for 15 yrs but he is a workaholic so wasn’t home much when kids were babies due to establishing patient base. But def not 80 hrs/week. That doesn’t sound right. I also used to drop off dinner while hubby was in call during med school so we would at least meet. You could try that. He seriously needs a new job. No overnights. And go live near family, DC burbs are so blah. West coast is the best coast. We moved from dmv to west and haven’t missed it for a second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is LONG so didn’t read much if the replies. My MD hubby has been out of training for 15 yrs but he is a workaholic so wasn’t home much when kids were babies due to establishing patient base. But def not 80 hrs/week. That doesn’t sound right. I also used to drop off dinner while hubby was in call during med school so we would at least meet. You could try that. He seriously needs a new job. No overnights. And go live near family, DC burbs are so blah. West coast is the best coast. We moved from dmv to west and haven’t missed it for a second.

It does sound like OP misses her family. MD husband can work 80 hours per week anywhere. Might as well be somewhere his wife wants to live.

[Anonymous]

OP posted in year 2011. This thread is now a time capsule. How did things turn out for OP more than a decade later?