Wives of physicians--dealing with loneliness

[Anonymous]

Is this thread still active?

[Anonymous]

High ranking military spouse here. I've got the same feelings as the OP. But I'm older and basically have my own life when he's working, which is all of the time.

[Anonymous]

I'm reading your story and crying because I feel the same way and he is only in residency. We have to move in July so he can continue with his specialty training and I'm terrified. I am leaving my home, family and career to move to a strange place. We have a 10 month old and a baby due any day now and I don't know how I will be able to deal with the loneliness either. Babies don't talk back...lol.

I feel for you and hope it gets better!

[Anonymous]

You have plenty of money. Stop whining/complaining. You have free medical/dental care for you and kids. Stop whining/complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have plenty of money. Stop whining/complaining. You have free medical/dental care for you and kids. Stop whining/complaining.

your empathy is blinding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading your story and crying because I feel the same way and he is only in residency. We have to move in July so he can continue with his specialty training and I'm terrified. I am leaving my home, family and career to move to a strange place. We have a 10 month old and a baby due any day now and I don't know how I will be able to deal with the loneliness either. Babies don't talk back...lol.

I feel for you and hope it gets better!

Impressive that you managed to have sex 4 weeks post partum with a husband in residency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading your story and crying because I feel the same way and he is only in residency. We have to move in July so he can continue with his specialty training and I'm terrified. I am leaving my home, family and career to move to a strange place. We have a 10 month old and a baby due any day now and I don't know how I will be able to deal with the loneliness either. Babies don't talk back...lol.

I feel for you and hope it gets better!

That would stress me out too. Can anyone join you to help the first few weeks or can you afford a night nurse? If not, can you afford a mother's helper? You can even start searching sittercity to line up interviews when you get to your new home. Plan ahead now because baby number 2 is stressful enough, add a move without support network near and it's a lot to handle. If you make sure you have support it will help you feel less stressed thinking about the move. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have plenty of money. Stop whining/complaining. You have free medical/dental care for you and kids. Stop whining/complaining.

How pathetically shallow you are.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP of this thread. I was surprised to see it back on here given that it's such an old thread.

Anyhow, it is ironic to see this thread up as my husband is working late yet again tonight. The loneliness is still very difficult for me.

Not a whole lot has changed since I first posted this thread. I joined a number of new social/meetup groups, and we even started our own meetup group (but it was a dismal failure). I am still incredibly lonely, have only a few friends in the area, no local family, and find it hard to cope with his long hours sometimes. We still spend every holiday alone, or I spend it alone while he is working. I am feeling particularly blue due to the loneliness today, so I'm not in the most perky mood.

I wish I could post now and say that things have really turned around, but unfortunately, despite my best efforts, they have not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading your story and crying because I feel the same way and he is only in residency. We have to move in July so he can continue with his specialty training and I'm terrified. I am leaving my home, family and career to move to a strange place. We have a 10 month old and a baby due any day now and I don't know how I will be able to deal with the loneliness either. Babies don't talk back...lol.

I feel for you and hope it gets better!

Birth control is your friend. You obviously serve your purpose sexually to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP of this thread. I was surprised to see it back on here given that it's such an old thread.

Anyhow, it is ironic to see this thread up as my husband is working late yet again tonight. The loneliness is still very difficult for me.

Not a whole lot has changed since I first posted this thread. I joined a number of new social/meetup groups, and we even started our own meetup group (but it was a dismal failure). I am still incredibly lonely, have only a few friends in the area, no local family, and find it hard to cope with his long hours sometimes. We still spend every holiday alone, or I spend it alone while he is working. I am feeling particularly blue due to the loneliness today, so I'm not in the most perky mood.

I wish I could post now and say that things have really turned around, but unfortunately, despite my best efforts, they have not.

I work at a hospital too. Your DH could work less if he wanted, he doesn't care that you are miserable and lonely. He doesn't care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading your story and crying because I feel the same way and he is only in residency. We have to move in July so he can continue with his specialty training and I'm terrified. I am leaving my home, family and career to move to a strange place. We have a 10 month old and a baby due any day now and I don't know how I will be able to deal with the loneliness either. Babies don't talk back...lol.

I feel for you and hope it gets better!

Impressive that you managed to have sex 4 weeks post partum with a husband in residency.

Yes, crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have plenty of money. Stop whining/complaining. You have free medical/dental care for you and kids. Stop whining/complaining.

How pathetically shallow you are.

Really? When both breadwinnners have lost jobs, car, house, let us know how uou feel about rich women whining about being lonely..

[Anonymous]

Personally I could not do it. I don't want to look back down the line at my marriage and mostly remember my DH being away. The only exception would be for the military because at least you'd have other military wives and families to support you.

When Dh and I first graduated college he had a demanding job that meant he had to work 12 hour days often. What helped me was finding my own group of friends through craigslist and meetup and finding new hobbies. The problem with doing that was that we started to grow apart and it was beginning to affect our marriage. A lot of the female friends I made were single so we'd end up hanging out in bars, going to clubs, etc. Dh and I made it through but it wasn't easy.

[Anonymous]

DH is a surgeon (3 years out of residency) and he makes every effort to be with me and 1 year old DS whenever he can manage. That might mean going in to the office early to finish charting but on his non-surgery days, he is home for dinner 9 out of 10 times. Sure on the days that he's in the OR things are a bit more unpredictable, but really, it's not that hard to make family a priority. We also chose to live very close to his office and the hospital he has privileges at, so he's home 15 minutes after he finishes up for the day. It's all about priorities.