Gender Disparity at College

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM.

I assume it's all social media driven.

Click bait, not facts

There are an absolute ton of personal accounts and reflections about this phenomenon online on Reddit, podcasts, youtube etc. But sure you--a 50 year old mom on DCUM--know better than any of them. YOU and only you have your finger on the dating pulse of generation Z.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

Um, she might have confused the 5% / 90% thing.

But she is not entirely wrong. Scientific research bears out the 80% / 20% hypothesis:

https://amj.kma.re.kr/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1597&context=journal

Essentially: yes. 80% of women pursue 20% of men; the so-called high quality men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM.

I assume it's all social media driven.

Grown adults taking their information from social media are, I'm sorry to say, stupid. FFS people. Social media is BS. Get off your phones and interact with real people.

Says the mom posting on DCUM on a Sunday afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM.

I assume it's all social media driven.

Click bait, not facts

There are an absolute ton of personal accounts and reflections about this phenomenon online on Reddit, podcasts, youtube etc. But sure you--a 50 year old mom on DCUM--know better than any of them. YOU and only you have your finger on the dating pulse of generation Z.

More click bait.

That’s not evidence of 5%/90%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM. .

It is common to DCUMAD: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/135/1077382.page

But sociologists and other scientists have confirmed the phenomenon exists. Ratios vary (50% 5%, or 80% 20%).

The exact ratio isn’t what matters.

The fact that every ratio demonstrates the majority of women chasing the top percentage of men is what matters.

The imbalance obviously exists. Only a fool or an ignorant person would try to claim otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

Um, she might have confused the 5% / 90% thing.

But she is not entirely wrong. Scientific research bears out the 80% / 20% hypothesis:

https://amj.kma.re.kr/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1597&context=journal

Essentially: yes. 80% of women pursue 20% of men; the so-called high quality men.

Based on how a sample of 30 women from Korea used Tinder?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it's always existed

[Anonymous]

This scientific data-point is also worth considering:

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/11/18/us-women-are-outpacing-men-in-college-completion-including-in-every-major-racial-and-ethnic-group/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the swing away from SAT/ACT scores. Plenty of bright boys who can do college work but the level of achievement kids are now expected to do for 4 years with zero room for error totally weeds out boys.

I happen to have a son who has been a very strong and focused student since 9th grade with strong ECs so he will benefit and I also have a daughter so I worry for her. It’s bad for everyone. Time to put down the GRL power shirts and attempt to figure it out.

Maybe parents should raise boys with equally high expectations so they have to step up? My high school didn't have class rank technically, but most of the top students in my class year at my very competitive independent school--by grades and scores--were boys. But this was also at a time when students of both genders got weeded out for disciplinary matters, and high standards were the norm (no extra credit, only the highest quality work earned the highest grades, etc.).

Many males are raised this way. Both the kids at different ivies know many men, unhooked, who are high achieving, top scores, smart, etc. They get into top law/med /internships just like the girls. There are plenty of high quality males at the ivy/elites. That’s where you want to be if you are a top-notch female seeking similar-intelligence males. It is the best ratio for finding the top males. Or go to a top med or grad school and find them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the swing away from SAT/ACT scores. Plenty of bright boys who can do college work but the level of achievement kids are now expected to do for 4 years with zero room for error totally weeds out boys.

I happen to have a son who has been a very strong and focused student since 9th grade with strong ECs so he will benefit and I also have a daughter so I worry for her. It’s bad for everyone. Time to put down the GRL power shirts and attempt to figure it out.

Maybe parents should raise boys with equally high expectations so they have to step up? My high school didn't have class rank technically, but most of the top students in my class year at my very competitive independent school--by grades and scores--were boys. But this was also at a time when students of both genders got weeded out for disciplinary matters, and high standards were the norm (no extra credit, only the highest quality work earned the highest grades, etc.).

Yes to high expectations for boys. But that doesn’t mean letting boys slack on learning crucially important details about their roles and place in society. This includes history because our historical past formed the future we now find ourselves in.

Through this lens, everyone can agree boys first and foremost need to have consent ingrained in them. Next, they need to be fully aware of the unearned male privilege from which they benefit every day. I think raising men to be authentic feminists is key here. Many of us empowered and informed boy-moms understand these truths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the swing away from SAT/ACT scores. Plenty of bright boys who can do college work but the level of achievement kids are now expected to do for 4 years with zero room for error totally weeds out boys.

I happen to have a son who has been a very strong and focused student since 9th grade with strong ECs so he will benefit and I also have a daughter so I worry for her. It’s bad for everyone. Time to put down the GRL power shirts and attempt to figure it out.

Maybe parents should raise boys with equally high expectations so they have to step up? My high school didn't have class rank technically, but most of the top students in my class year at my very competitive independent school--by grades and scores--were boys. But this was also at a time when students of both genders got weeded out for disciplinary matters, and high standards were the norm (no extra credit, only the highest quality work earned the highest grades, etc.).

Yes to high expectations for boys. But that doesn’t mean letting boys slack on learning crucially important details about their roles and place in society. This includes history because our historical past formed the future we now find ourselves in.

Through this lens, everyone can agree boys first and foremost need to have consent ingrained in them. Next, they need to be fully aware of the unearned male privilege from which they benefit every day. I think raising men to be authentic feminists is key here. Many of us empowered and informed boy-moms understand these truths.

ok chatgpt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM. .

It is common to DCUMAD: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/135/1077382.page

But sociologists and other scientists have confirmed the phenomenon exists. Ratios vary (50% 5%, or 80% 20%).

The exact ratio isn’t what matters.

The fact that every ratio demonstrates the majority of women chasing the top percentage of men is what matters.

The imbalance obviously exists. Only a fool or an ignorant person would try to claim otherwise.

So now the click bait ratio doesn't matter.

Where is the evidence supporting your claim? "Scientists" on TikTok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

Of course it isn’t true. The PP is full of sht.

No, there are a zillion articles and posts online about how top 50% women (or whatever) all want to date the same "high value" or top 5% men.
This isn't unique to DCUM.

I assume it's all social media driven.

Grown adults taking their information from social media are, I'm sorry to say, stupid. FFS people. Social media is BS. Get off your phones and interact with real people.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Both of my boys go to top 20 schools that are roughly 50-50 men and women. Both have serious girlfriends. Dating has been very common for them and their friends. But both go to universities in the south - think Duke, Vandy, Rice - where the social dynamics seem fairly healthy and normal.

The boys at their schools all seem very smart and motivated. I think by senior year relationships are the norm at their schools. So perhaps things are different in the south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I certainly hope the 5%/90% stat isn’t true. I have an average decent boy. A good person, physically fit, good grades, but not a “star” at anything. Thus far, it’s like he’s invisible but maybe that will change someday.

I have the same in female form and she feels invisible to 90% of guys despite being petite, pretty, well dressed, etc because they're all chasing after the absolute top girls. She says she would date very average guys and she has said yes to dates with them so I believe her. In fact, next weekend she's going out with a guy who I would say is maybe a 6/10 (if I was pressed to grade him in the picture she texted me) but super interesting, kind and smart. She is so excited about him and I'm so excited for her. So people like our kids will find each other, I hope.

That certainly sounds hopeful. My DS is definitely not interested in the absolute top girls. Nothing wrong with them but he would like a girl who may be a bit nerdy. He would rather talk about books and music and horror movies. He has his guy friends for the gym.