2 found dead at Rob Reiner's house; possibly Rob and his wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone with Rob Reiner's level of wealth and connections can't get help for his adult son, what chance do the rest of us have?

Addiction doesn't care about wealth and connections. You can have all the money in the world and still not be able to overcome addiction.

I'm the sister of an addict. My sister went to rehab 6 times before she was finally able to stay sober. It's been 7 years, but I don't think I'll ever be able to truly relax and not worry about her relapsing.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When someone with Rob Reiner's level of wealth and connections can't get help for his adult son, what chance do the rest of us have?

Exactly!

Virginia State Senator Creigh Deeds is the epitome of this problem, and he readily shares the story of how he tried to get his son hospitalized while in crisis and when there wasn’t a bed immediately available in northern Virginia, the medical system sent them home and the next morning his son tried to kill him and then killed himself - also a knife attack on the father, but he killed himself with a gun.

On November 19, 2013, Deeds was stabbed multiple times at his home in Bath County, Virginia by his 24-year-old son, Gus, who then shot himself.[7] Deeds was initially reported to be in critical condition at University of Virginia Medical Center.[8][9] Although a judge had issued an involuntary commitment order for Gus, and despite an intensive search, no available hospital bed could be found to provide him mental health treatment in the days before the attempted murder and he was released home without the ordered treatment.[10] As a consequence, several changes were made in the screening and admission process for people undergoing an emergency psychiatric examination in Virginia.[11] These changes include 2014 Virginia Senate Bill 260, sponsored by Deeds.[12]

As a former county attorney who involuntarily committed dozens of people to the state hospital as well as to private facilities over the course of my years in that role, I can attest that only a tiny number of those commitments remained in custody longer than a week or two. One young man whose family had cut him down from a tree where he hanged himself was returned into the community after THREE DAYS at the state hospital.

My time in the family and criminal and child dependency courts taught me that our mental health system is ABYSMAL, from sea to shining sea. It’s an underfunded underresourced poorly regulated MESS, and we pay for it in dozens of ways across our society. But it seems there is no real will to fix it, on either side of the aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone with Rob Reiner's level of wealth and connections can't get help for his adult son, what chance do the rest of us have?

Money does not solve certain things.

Anyone who deals with a family member who has addiction issues struggles.

My parents are wealthy (not Rob Reiner wealthy, but wealthy enough to throw a lot of money at a problem) and my brother still struggles enormously with addition. I sometimes think that having parents who are capable of rescuing you makes recovery harder, whether they help you or not. Because you know they can. My brother has come to my parents for help so many times in his life. They love him, they help him. When they have set boundaries with him or tried to say, we can only help you so far and then you have to help yourself, he gets very angry and it can trigger more issues.

Money is not a solution to this particular problem, as much as many of us wish it was.

Well said, pp.

[Anonymous]

Kathy Griffin said that Nick had schizophrenia. Would not be surprising.

[Anonymous]

Nick Reiner is now charged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone with Rob Reiner's level of wealth and connections can't get help for his adult son, what chance do the rest of us have?

Addiction doesn't care about wealth and connections. You can have all the money in the world and still not be able to overcome addiction.

I'm the sister of an addict. My sister went to rehab 6 times before she was finally able to stay sober. It's been 7 years, but I don't think I'll ever be able to truly relax and not worry about her relapsing.

I think that was that poster's point. You can throw money at a LOT of problems and fix them or make them go away. Unfortunately the mental health system in this country is so beyond effed that it's not one of those problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He really made some lovely films. I think the best thing to honor him would not to let his life be defined by how it ended.

+1. I will watch Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally this week in his honor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are Jewish and killed then first day of Jewish holidays

Yeah, when there are family issues, violence often increases around holidays. Because families are spending time together. Sometimes it’s a time when family members say things like “we love you. You are out of control. We can’t keep paying your bills for you to live like those. You need to go to rehab.” I don’t know if that happened here but often it’s when family members draw boundaries, it leads to violence. Or even just a “don’t talk your mom that way” and things escalate from there. Holidays can be rough for a lot of people for a lot of reasons.

Multiple reports saying they got into a heated argument with the son that night at Conan O’Brien’s holiday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are Jewish and killed then first day of Jewish holidays

Yeah, when there are family issues, violence often increases around holidays. Because families are spending time together. Sometimes it’s a time when family members say things like “we love you. You are out of control. We can’t keep paying your bills for you to live like those. You need to go to rehab.” I don’t know if that happened here but often it’s when family members draw boundaries, it leads to violence. Or even just a “don’t talk your mom that way” and things escalate from there. Holidays can be rough for a lot of people for a lot of reasons.

Multiple reports saying they got into a heated argument with the son that night at Conan O’Brien’s holiday party.

I really feel for families that have to deal with a mentally ill close relative, having one in my family of origin myself. It doesn't matter who, where or what the occasion is, they ruin the event with their behavior. If Kathy is correct and Nick had schizophrenia, anything can set them off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are Jewish and killed then first day of Jewish holidays

Yeah, when there are family issues, violence often increases around holidays. Because families are spending time together. Sometimes it’s a time when family members say things like “we love you. You are out of control. We can’t keep paying your bills for you to live like those. You need to go to rehab.” I don’t know if that happened here but often it’s when family members draw boundaries, it leads to violence. Or even just a “don’t talk your mom that way” and things escalate from there. Holidays can be rough for a lot of people for a lot of reasons.

Multiple reports saying they got into a heated argument with the son that night at Conan O’Brien’s holiday party.

This is so devastating hearing these details come out.

I was listening to NPR this afternoon and they were talking about how they had reached out to Rob Reiner recently to see if he wanted to do an interview about Dick Van Dyke, who just turned 100, since DVD and Carl Reiner were very close friends and Rob Reiner grew up intertwined with their family. They noted they were not able to make the the interview happen. And now TMZ is reporting that people close to the family said Michele had told multiple people that they were "at their wit's end" in recent months with Nick and his challenges. So this is something the family had been struggling with for months and it culminated at the party and in the murders Sunday.

This also explains why they were found so soon, why Nick was quickly identified as the prime suspect, etc. It's like it unfolded in front of all their friends and family and everyone knew what was happening and no one could stop it. I bet the survivor's guilt is horribly intense, I have been through this with my own sibling who attempted suicide. You watch things escalate and unfold and do what you can but feel powerless, and then when it turns to violence, you examine everything you did and said and second guess it all. It's futile, you can't control other people, but it's very hard.

[Anonymous]

This is so tragic. Mental illness is hard to treat and people tend to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.

Rob Reiner’s movies are like a hall of fame in modern cinema.

[Anonymous]

The sister reported her brother as a dangerous person.

As someone with schizophrenia and bipolar in our family I can relate.

[Anonymous]

18:06 poster here

When mentally ill family members are in a mania or psychosis there is not much that the other family members can do.

It is legal to have untreated mental illness in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nick had 17 stays in rehab. Severely mentally ill and needed more than rehab support/interventions.

Why is rehab so ineffective? This isn't a matter of money or access. I have a brother like this too, I don't trust him and just hope he doesn't rage out like this some day.

It’s ineffective when people are only doing it out of force. Same as all therapy.

It has to be choice and the person wants to get help. Many mentally ill folks do not want to be on drugs and don't think they need drugs.

Then they need to be locked up and not free to harm others.

Oh sure! Snap! It's so easy to get someone locked up just in case they might do something someday. You clearly have no idea.

When there's a history of drug/alcohol addiction and mental illness, the person needs to be hospitalized longterm if that person refuses help.

It is virtually impossible to get someone locked up unless the explicitly threaten harm against themselves or others. If happens over and over that people tell the police that they will not harm anyone, the cops leave, and the person kills people later.

Who exactly benefits from this insanity? Certainly not society.

People have a right to freedom. It would be kidnapping if you just put people away behind locked doors against their will. They have to be at imminent risk to harm themselves or others or completley unable to care for themselves before you can take their rights away. That is why many are against the ICE detainments. Snatching people off the street and locking them away isn't really the sign of a funcational society. There are places in the world where there are even fewer human rights and families can have a family member with a significant illness or disability locked away.

Well at some point society has the weigh the rights of the individual against the rights of the general population.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting he kept his sister alive. Apparently she lives next door and found the bodies. I couldn’t even imagine that pain and trauma.