Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

God you people are deranged.

So many parents of toddlers now expert in all areas of parenting, education, and the feelings of 18 yr olds. But bad at math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

my god

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

Then move, if what other people do with their kids under rules that allow it is of such overwhelming importance to you. 🙄 Honestly.

The more I read these threads the more I am convinced that anti-redshirters all have serious untreated anxiety disorders. They cannot be so hapless in the face of the real world otherwise. Their posts are ridiculous.

The previous two comments are not "anti-redshirt." They are actually pro-redshirt, but within a 3 month window. That's normal.

I have no problem with redshirting summer birthdays but if I encountered a February birthday who was redshirted, I would judge SO HARD. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

Then move, if what other people do with their kids under rules that allow it is of such overwhelming importance to you. 🙄 Honestly.

The more I read these threads the more I am convinced that anti-redshirters all have serious untreated anxiety disorders. They cannot be so hapless in the face of the real world otherwise. Their posts are ridiculous.

The previous two comments are not "anti-redshirt." They are actually pro-redshirt, but within a 3 month window. That's normal.

I have no problem with redshirting summer birthdays but if I encountered a February birthday who was redshirted, I would judge SO HARD. That's ridiculous.

The thread bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

My child who was sent on time was 18 for the entire year.

Are all anti-redshirters crazy or just the ones that post on DCUM?

The crazed ones have certainly taken over this thread. SO HARD. RIDICULOUS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

God you people are deranged.

So many parents of toddlers now expert in all areas of parenting, education, and the feelings of 18 yr olds. But bad at math.

I always think it’s fascinating how bad the anti-redshirters are at really basic math. They are always talking about how brilliant their kids are, but they can’t do elementary-level addition themselves. It’s bizarre.

[Anonymous]

SO HARD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

God you people are deranged.

So many parents of toddlers now expert in all areas of parenting, education, and the feelings of 18 yr olds. But bad at math.

I always think it’s fascinating how bad the anti-redshirters are at really basic math. They are always talking about how brilliant their kids are, but they can’t do elementary-level addition themselves. It’s bizarre.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

Then move, if what other people do with their kids under rules that allow it is of such overwhelming importance to you. 🙄 Honestly.

The more I read these threads the more I am convinced that anti-redshirters all have serious untreated anxiety disorders. They cannot be so hapless in the face of the real world otherwise. Their posts are ridiculous.

The previous two comments are not "anti-redshirt." They are actually pro-redshirt, but within a 3 month window. That's normal.

I have no problem with redshirting summer birthdays but if I encountered a February birthday who was redshirted, I would judge SO HARD. That's ridiculous.

As someone who did not redshirt and who has a child who was friends with a (presumably) redshirted February kid, I think you are really pathetic. Do you have any actual real problems in life, or do you spend your time obsessing about other children because your life is so limited? You have to know you aren’t helping the perception of DCUMs anti-redshirters as being obsessed lunatics.

[Anonymous]

Whom among us doesn't know the birthdays and Social Security numbers of all the children at the local elementary school? It just comes up naturally in the course of conversations...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

TBH you have no idea what you’re talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whom among us doesn't know the birthdays and Social Security numbers of all the children at the local elementary school? It just comes up naturally in the course of conversations...

I make it like it’s my job. Then I fill in my kid about it so he’s fully prepared with all the details. Then I chat about it with all the moms in the carpool lane and bus stop. But I start spreading the word early at the pool too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.