Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It’s not tracking, it’s just a know fact like a kid’s name, their siblings name, what street they live. We socialize, carpool, hang out and know the families. I think you’re isolated.

Honey, we all know you keep creepy spreadsheets of kids and sports rosters. Your hard drive is probably appalling. What you do is not normal, despite your desperate attempts to justify it.

I would question why you’re so defensive about it? Maybe you feel silly watching your kid compete knowing the advantage.

None of my kids were redshirted. I am just calling out obviously creepy behavior on behalf of all the normal parents.

Or better yet why don’t you put some effort and energy into making friends and socializing with actual parents in your community instead of acting like a know it all on an internet board. Live an actual life in the real world. This doesn’t count.

Nobody mistakes your creepy stalking as having an actual social life. I know that’s what you need to tell yourself, but we see through you.

Whatever narrative makes you feel better that your kid isn’t really included in things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

[Anonymous]

If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The redshirt debate is so dumb. The advantages are highly exaggerated. No one is going to think your kid is super smart because they repeated a grade. And your kid may feel self conscious and embarrassed by being older than everyone else for the rest of their time in school (not to mention being incredibly bored having to repeat a grade).

Lol no. The only people who have a problem are people like OP who think they made a mistake or missed out. It’s all upside for redshirters.

I’ve seen it go sideways in athletics with kids who were used to cruising by being the stars in elementary and when some of the younger kids came out ahead post puberty they struggled not being the best on the team and didn’t have the grit and work ethic to keep up and dropped altogether. I saw that even in 4/5 grade when kids started evening out.

Same for academics.

If you are truly gifted, then redshirting can give you that edge to be a champion. But that needs to overcome the challenge of not being challenged in your grade level program.

If you are not truly gifted, but redshirting for edge, then redshirting is just delaying inevitable lackluster performance.

If you are holding back a year because you aren't mature enough for the original assigned grade, you'll thrive.

Truly gifted kids don't gain an edge by being redshirted. They perform at the top either way.

This depends. Our county’s gifted program for math and English starts in 7th grade. Not only is it very accelerated in material, the pace is also very accelerated- as in it requires 2+ hours of homework per night. Even many kids that test into it can’t keep up. The ones on the younger side tend to lack the executive function skills and maturity to handle such a high volume of work and expectations

Give me a break. Send your kid to RSM and tell me how "gifted" they are. The seven year olds will run circles around your seventh grader.

My kids finished through precalc and 12th grade English through this program by the end of 8th grade. They have winter birthdays. Their peers with late summer/early fall birthdays that didn’t redshirt really struggled in this program and dropped. It wasn’t for lack of intellect.

So weird how everyone always knows precisely how old all the other children are and, not only that, but how literally every single thing can be explained by whether a child is slightly older or younger than the next one.

This is a creepy anti-redshirter thing. As someone who has read these threads for awhile, I’ve seen some awful behavior justified. It is of course entirely inappropriate for a parent to be tracking down the birthdays of seventh and eighth graders in a pull-out program. They should not even know the names of the kids in a standard public school setting, let alone when they were born. But this is something really creepy that anti-redshirt parents do. I remember a thread where someone compiled a spreadsheet of the birthdays of the gifted kids in middle school.

It’s extremely creepy behavior but they justify to themselves somehow.

Nothing creepy about it, my kid gets invited to a few bday parties a month and plays sports with most of the kids. Rosters often have birthdays, the kids talk about it in carpool, etc, It’s not a secret. You may not know if you’re socially isolated

For middle school? Absolutely creepy. Just the fact you are cross referencing sports rosters with class names that you had to dig up on your own (because no middle school math teacher is releasing names) shows how absolutely inappropriate you are. Stay away from kids, weirdo.

Your obsession with it is weird as you hold your kids back for sports. You cannot make your kids smarter by holding them back and you are socially hurting them as they are not with their peers, they are with much younger kids who are age-appropriate and your child isn't if you are basing their behavior and maturity on kids 1-2 years younger.

I didn’t redshirt my kids. I just think anti-redshirters are very creepy with their obsessions with other people’s kids. One of my kids is actually very young for grade.

It's just how people are. Kids talk, parents talk. No one gets to just make decisions and expect everyone else to move and their own business. Once I was picking my kids up from school and some dad o barely know walked up and said "oh hey I hear you guys just bought an EV." I guess one ofy kids had been talking about it, and this guy's kid heard and reported it at home. There is only so much privacy and anonymity within school communities because kids are not very discreet.

And that's how it works with redshirting. A group of 1st graders will be talking about who is 7 already, and Aiden R. will say "I turned 7 in June." And then those kids will all go home and say "Aiden R. turned 7 in June!"

And then that's a piece of info people will reference whenever something happens with Aiden R. If he wins an academic award, if he gets in trouble, whatever. People will know he was redshirted and that will be part of the conversation.

Is it fair? No. Life is not fair. It's very normal though. This is how people are.

Nobody is having these conversations. Just you.

A lot of people are having them. Even if just at home with their spouse. It's just a reality of life. I don't particularly like it but I don't freak out about it either. Gossip has been happening since the beginning of humanity.

Lol. Be sure they are talking about you as well then.

Of course they are! That's the whole point.

If you want to try and convince us that you NEVER discuss other children at your kid's school, even privately with your spouse, go ahead. But I don't believe you.

So what, people shouldn’t redshirt bc busybodies gossip? That’s hardly a deterrent since if not thay it will he about something else.

I didn't say that. I don't personally care if you redshirt or not. I'm saying freaking out about "anti-redshirters" and telling posters who know the ages of other kids at school "creepy" for knowing, is pointless. Yes people will talk and some will judge. It's normal in school communities for people to notice things like redshirting, how families spend money, level of sports commitment, how much outside academic support provided, etc. And some will talk, judge, resent. That's life.

Do what you want but don't expect other families to validate or approve of your choices. If you think redshirting attracts naysayers, try moving from public to private or the reverse, moving schools via a lottery, etc.

"I don't care" and "I don't approve" 🫡

I never said I don't approve. I don't view it as my job to approve or disapprove. I don't care if people redshirt but I'm also not invested in it. I'm not going to tell you, "yes, redshirting is amazing, you absolutely made the right choice." I don't know if that's true. I didn't redshirt my kid so obviously I don't think it's essential. I hope it works out for you but if it doesn't, oh well, that's on you.

Are you this sensitive about everything? You need a thicker skin. That's my whole point.

*I’m not defensive at all. It doesn’t bother me one way or another. That’s why I snap back at every comment. I just need to be super sure you understand my position That I don’t care. But others disapprove. 🫡

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

“People” can make decisions for their own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

I know nothing about your kid but “3 months makes sense to me” and anything else is “insane” and I will “absolutely judge you” please feel free to judge me about things you don’t know too. Any other questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP and don’t approve or disapprove but I do think February is kind of ridiculous. It’s not even within 6 months. I always thought redshirting was for the 3 months before the school cut off. That was my understanding. We have a Sep1 cut off.

Ok but that’s not a real rule, it’s something you made up.

Honestly this all sounds like sour grapes that you wish you’d made a different choice— but you still can. Start your kid again in private school, they will require you to be one year later they wont start a June bday.

DP but I agree with OP -- a 3 month wind for redshirting makes sense to me, but redshirting a February birthday is insane. I would absolutely judge this and be annoyed if my kid wound up in class with a kid who was a year and a half older as a result.

Obviously not everyone can afford private or even has access to them -- high quality private schools are not a thing everywhere. We used to live in an area where the only private schools were highly religious. It was really public or nothing, which makes the stakes for how redshirting rules/guidelines are enforced higher than in a place with more school choice.

Then move, if what other people do with their kids under rules that allow it is of such overwhelming importance to you. 🙄 Honestly.

The more I read these threads the more I am convinced that anti-redshirters all have serious untreated anxiety disorders. They cannot be so hapless in the face of the real world otherwise. Their posts are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

Stop with this. My ON TIME kid will be 18 most of his senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

God you people are deranged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

My child who was sent on time was 18 for the entire year.

Are all anti-redshirters crazy or just the ones that post on DCUM?