DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I grew up, three generations lived under one roof. But I recognize that American majority don’t love and care for their elders. I cannot believe how many are just so nonchalant about putting your parents in a facility.

You and other posters talk about these situations fondly from the perspective of a bystander, as opposed to the primary caregiver. I hope with maturity you can shift your perspective, and realize that even if the primary caregiver speak of the situation fondly, it’s likely they are doing so out of obligation.

Yes, these posts usually reek of someone who has never btdt and looks back on their grandma/mom (because it's always women's work) as a lovely sweet servant to all. Someone here recommended a Willa Cather short story called Old Mrs. Harris on the topic. I read it and it absolutely hit home. Highly recommend it to everyone on this forum.

I'm not the PP, but on your recommendation I just read Old Mrs. Harris and it was a sad story about an old lady who just gave everything to her family but felt unappreciated even though she didn't want to be appreciated. A little like the Giving Tree. The granddaughter was given a huge opportunity to go to college, but she had no support from her family to do that. To me, it hit as a statement about the traditional role and worth of women 100 years ago, and I thank god that we've come a long way from that, so that we don't have to give up everything about ourselves to take care of others.

Is this how it hit you too? I'm not sure why you recommend it.

[Anonymous]

She is smart. I would divorce before I would let my witch of a MIL move in with us. And I make a lot of money. And I would never remarry. Being single sounds like a dream. You can live with my mommy. Good luck.