Lessons learned so far: 2024-2025

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents told me I can go to any college I want and money is no object as they are not paying. True to work they not only did not pay they charged me rent and made me pay my share of bills to house once I turned 18.

Today as the parent the world has changed. Perhaps parents should get out of the college application and paying for college business.

That said I paid 100 percent first two kids and about to do it again for kid 3.

You could reorient your worldview. My family has had parent-paid college going back into the 1800s. But the expectation is that you get a job decent enough to pay it forward for your own kids. It's worked so far. And each generation has been reasonable about earning scholarships and attending reasonably-priced schools. We are UMC but not rich rich.

I am fairly senior in a nonprofit and my spouse is the same in local government. I guess we either married the incorrect people (should have married for money?) or are career failures without decent jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ED golden era is Dec 20-Jan 20th.

Starting mid February and beyond, a lot of kids sour on that Wash U (etc) ED decision.

This thread is within the golden era .. just read it as such. Lots of kids get into T20 schools during RD. Feelings shifts.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ED golden era is Dec 20-Jan 20th.

Starting mid February and beyond, a lot of kids sour on that Wash U (etc) ED decision.

This thread is within the golden era .. just read it as such. Lots of kids get into T20 schools during RD. Feelings shifts.

Huh?

I get this. Kids with ED acceptances start to second guess their decision, especially if they chose a target or a near reach, and start the "what if" game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ED golden era is Dec 20-Jan 20th.

Starting mid February and beyond, a lot of kids sour on that Wash U (etc) ED decision.

This thread is within the golden era .. just read it as such. Lots of kids get into T20 schools during RD. Feelings shifts.

Huh?

I get this. Kids with ED acceptances start to second guess their decision, especially if they chose a target or a near reach, and start the "what if" game.

Yep, unfortunately this is mine right now. They were so conflicted, that was the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents told me I can go to any college I want and money is no object as they are not paying. True to work they not only did not pay they charged me rent and made me pay my share of bills to house once I turned 18.

Today as the parent the world has changed. Perhaps parents should get out of the college application and paying for college business.

That said I paid 100 percent first two kids and about to do it again for kid 3.

You could reorient your worldview. My family has had parent-paid college going back into the 1800s. But the expectation is that you get a job decent enough to pay it forward for your own kids. It's worked so far. And each generation has been reasonable about earning scholarships and attending reasonably-priced schools. We are UMC but not rich rich.

Some of us were the first generation going to college, and without parental help. Not having generational help the way you did greatly impacts everything. We're paying it forward, but in a way not to impact our own finances or have dcs take on loans. It means eliminating the majority of schools and staying in state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid has big dreams, you must apply widely. Start early. Be smart and strategic.

Applied to 22 schools:
5 safeties (admitted to 4; waiting on 1)
6 targets (admitted to 1; waiting on 5)
11 reaches (deferred ED1; waiting on all)

I don't understand how peple can apply to so many safeties and targets early. Our kid did a school with selective early action, and there weren't a ton of schools that she COULD have applied to early as a results (just state schools)

If applying ED (not REA), its very easy to apply to SOOO many schools EA or rolling (think Pitt, Case, U-Vermont; U-Miami; CU-Boulder; Michigan)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:SAT score really matters.

To a certain extent yes. But once you hit at certain level, nope getting higher does not matter.

The touchy-feely admissions officer thinking “I really like this kid” based on their essays, activities and background matters more than everyone thinks. It is a rational decision to a point but more emotion involved than there should be.

Yes but it must feel authentic and not made up.
Like you want to root for this kid. The kid makes you laugh. Has uncommon experiences or take on something. You see something familiar in him/her? Something you haven’t seen in a bunch of other applications.

Good essays, LOR and activities can absolutely do this.

Many of these are exaggerated, crafted, and carefully written to hook readers and sell the applicant.

Exaggerated bragging will backfire. Listen to today's YCBK.....

They say that the essays that brag about ECs are the WORST. It's about showing values, and academic "love of learning" in all you do. Not bragging. "Essays are not the place to flex....they're the place for you to reflect".

In reading through reddit/A2C, this is what all the international/CS/engineering kids get wrong. They think "bigger is better". That is NOT what they are looking for. They are looking for your values. You can convey values through EC descriptions in a way that whispers and doesn't shout.

More from the podcast on what AO are looking for in essays - its not about "impressing them":
"They really like you and they're excited about having you in the class"
"fostering an emotional connection" with the AO
But "they can sniff it out so fast when someone is trying to pound their chest and say, I hope you notice subtly..."
So - don't put your ECs in your essays - unless the prompt asks for it....they don't want you to brag.

Interesting episode btw. He blamed the parents.

Fantastic tip!

What is YCBK?

Podcast. Google?
It’s talked about a ton here.

… by one poster who keeps dropping it in casually and then acting surprised that no one knows what they’re taking about.

I learned about it here 2 years ago. Its not new if you are in the college admissions cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents told me I can go to any college I want and money is no object as they are not paying. True to work they not only did not pay they charged me rent and made me pay my share of bills to house once I turned 18.

Today as the parent the world has changed. Perhaps parents should get out of the college application and paying for college business.

That said I paid 100 percent first two kids and about to do it again for kid 3.

You could reorient your worldview. My family has had parent-paid college going back into the 1800s. But the expectation is that you get a job decent enough to pay it forward for your own kids. It's worked so far. And each generation has been reasonable about earning scholarships and attending reasonably-priced schools. We are UMC but not rich rich.

Some of us were the first generation going to college, and without parental help. Not having generational help the way you did greatly impacts everything. We're paying it forward, but in a way not to impact our own finances or have dcs take on loans. It means eliminating the majority of schools and staying in state.

That is a very smart choice!!! Or do private schools, but ones that are a tier or two lower that will give you excellent merit

Graduating college debt free or with less than $25-30K should be every ones goal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAT score really matters.

To a certain extent yes. But once you hit at certain level, nope getting higher does not matter.

The touchy-feely admissions officer thinking “I really like this kid” based on their essays, activities and background matters more than everyone thinks. It is a rational decision to a point but more emotion involved than there should be.

Yes but it must feel authentic and not made up.
Like you want to root for this kid. The kid makes you laugh. Has uncommon experiences or take on something. You see something familiar in him/her? Something you haven’t seen in a bunch of other applications.

Good essays, LOR and activities can absolutely do this.

Many of these are exaggerated, crafted, and carefully written to hook readers and sell the applicant.

Exaggerated bragging will backfire. Listen to today's YCBK.....

They say that the essays that brag about ECs are the WORST. It's about showing values, and academic "love of learning" in all you do. Not bragging. "Essays are not the place to flex....they're the place for you to reflect".

In reading through reddit/A2C, this is what all the international/CS/engineering kids get wrong. They think "bigger is better". That is NOT what they are looking for. They are looking for your values. You can convey values through EC descriptions in a way that whispers and doesn't shout.

More from the podcast on what AO are looking for in essays - its not about "impressing them":
"They really like you and they're excited about having you in the class"
"fostering an emotional connection" with the AO
But "they can sniff it out so fast when someone is trying to pound their chest and say, I hope you notice subtly..."
So - don't put your ECs in your essays - unless the prompt asks for it....they don't want you to brag.

Interesting episode btw. He blamed the parents.

Fantastic tip!

What is YCBK?

Podcast. Google?
It’s talked about a ton here.

… by one poster who keeps dropping it in casually and then acting surprised that no one knows what they’re taking about.

I learned about it here 2 years ago. Its not new if you are in the college admissions cycle.

Multiple comments yet nobody has told the PP what it actually is which is the Your College Bound Kid Podcast (YCBK).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those going through the application process w/DC this school year, what lessons have you learned?
What do you wish you’d done differently? What’s worked out well?

Don't wait until Oct 31st to submit your EA application. Access your individual school portals immediately and daily until everything is completely done - if you don't get the SRAR forms completed and returned to the schools who require them (after you submit the common app) in time, you get bumped to regular decision timeline.

Make your student login to their portals in front of you so you can see for yourself that they are working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Some folks don't understand that the game is really in early action. They see early action and regular decision and think they're equal. Many, many schools have much reduced odds by doing regular decision. So if you do regular decision, the kid is doing the same work, essays, etc and have a much lower chance. I've been surprised by the amount of parents who didn't know this. Basically, go in with the mentality that all apps will be due Nov 1 (plus or minus a few weeks). Of course, some don't have early action, so reg decision is fine obviously.

2. For all of the emphasis you'll hear on demonstrated interest, I was suprised how many of the schools my kid applied to didn't track demonstrated interest (you can see on every schools "common data set" whether they consider demonstrated interest in admissions). So check common data set before you force yourself to fly across country to make sure you have demonstrated interest.

3. Before the search begins and all along the way, emphasize over and over that we're not looking for a dream school. We need to identify 4-5 schools you'd be excited to attend. Watching the "dream school" kids be disappointed even when they end up at good schools is rough.

4. Understand your budget before ever letting a kid look at a school. Schools that would never be affordable (even with merit or aid it'd be too much) aren't on the table.

+1 re: the game being all about early action.
We had no idea!
And thankfully DC got into ED option but if that hadn’t worked out DC may have been shut out of several backups because DC hadn’t done any other apps.
We were just uninformed. Didn’t pay for an individual college counselor and public school counselor didn’t offer any guidance at all about this.
With next child, we will know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those going through the application process w/DC this school year, what lessons have you learned?
What do you wish you’d done differently? What’s worked out well?

Don't wait until Oct 31st to submit your EA application. Access your individual school portals immediately and daily until everything is completely done - if you don't get the SRAR forms completed and returned to the schools who require them (after you submit the common app) in time, you get bumped to regular decision timeline.

Make your student login to their portals in front of you so you can see for yourself that they are working.

I wish we had done this. We didn't wait until the last minute but we did wait until September. We should have done the most annoying, involved reach and OOS apps in August before school started, and then focus on our in state targets and safeties.

[Anonymous]

EA and rolling admits made the process less stressful. DS gained confidence as he received offers and chose to apply to 4 more reaches as RD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If unhooked and eyeing the most rejective schools, get your own counselor if you can afford it. Yes, of course it’s possible to get in without one, but it makes the odds so much better and the process so much easier (especially for parents since the counselor does all the nagging). Love my DC to death, but frankly not sure they would‘ve made the cut without the counselor’s inside knowledge, making them write and rewrite an ungodly number of drafts of each prompt and even the activities/awards sections, etc. DC was accepted early to first choice HYPSM.

Money talks.

Yes and it’s mind-boggling to me that the exact same people who have the money to advantage their kids in this way are the exact same ones who vote for school board members who champion equity.
As long as they have resources to find and exploit the loophole for themselves, then they are happy to “tax the rich! On the name of “equity!”
The virtue signaling is beyond nauseating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best advice: develop a narrative beginning in ninth grade. Not kidding. If your kid likes debate, make sure they attend state or national conferences or write an op ed about a presidential debate.start a debate club at school, find any way you can to get some sort of state or national level recognition over the next four years. It’s all gimmicks but … it’s what admissions committees want to see.

in general, Admissions likes to see your kid pick an activity and focus on it. So let them do what they like and do it more in-depth in HS. Much better to spend 20 hours/week+ on a single activity than to randomly do a few hours here or there where it's obviuosly they are just ticking off the boxes versus genuine interest.

another benefit is your kid will enjoy HS much more and be happier with life. Cannot imagine crafting a kid's entire HS existence in order to gain admission to a T20 school and then "fail". Versus letting them be genuine and seeing what happens. My kid did that, missed out on the T25s, but is attending a T40 and it's the perfect fit for them. Does not regret the choices they made in HS (that might have cost them a T25). They are happier and excelling at life

+1. If your kid likes debate (like mine) all of those things PP listed will happen organically without being gimmicks.