What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm new to my husband's family. First time staying at the in-laws. The main bathroom in the hallway does not have a doorknob. This is where I'm to shower and get ready with two other families.

I asked my husband if we could check into a hotel but he said it would hurt his moms feelings.

If you’re newly married and your husband is prioritizing his mother’s feelings over your comfort it’s probably a bad sign

He promised me we would never stay at his parents again. His mom is really happy to have all her sons staying at her house in years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm new to my husband's family. First time staying at the in-laws. The main bathroom in the hallway does not have a doorknob. This is where I'm to shower and get ready with two other families.

I asked my husband if we could check into a hotel but he said it would hurt his moms feelings.

If you’re newly married and your husband is prioritizing his mother’s feelings over your comfort it’s probably a bad sign

This is the origin story for a lot of us before we wised up and learned to use our big girl voices. PP, get your marital house in order before kids arrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

We keep our house at 62-64. I don’t even notice anymore.

[Anonymous]

We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

Are you even going to be able to cook the turkey??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

SIL, is that you? Blink twice if you’re not allowed to use the top left stove burner even though it works.

This is the exact kind of thing I deal with at my parents' house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL refuses to buy foods that the kids like and then makes us feel terrible because our kids are bad eaters. I’m not talking about sugared cereal (gasp!) or spaghetti-os level “kid food.” She made beef stew last night and tonight we are having fish because she got a good deal at the store (and because SHE likes that). The house is a museum and no games of any kind left over from Ds and three sibs. I’m not even sure they were allowed to sleep in the house as children (I know the dog wasn’t).

I don't know about this one...I grew up having to eat the same "adult" food as adults and have my kids do the same. We don't do separate meals and that has expanded my kids palate.

+1

They can eat some beef stew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

How old are your kids that you expect them to sleep until 9am or later? 6:40 is a typical waking time for young kids and it sounds like they were staying in their room. I’d be interested to hear your SILs take on this visit.

+1 do you mean the SIL and her own young daughter? If this is like a toddler/preschooler, they can't really be quiet for several hours after waking up...

My SIL doesn’t have kids. She was with my 10 year old daughter who has sleep apnea and needs a minimum of 10 hours of sleep. This is a child that normally has to be woken up out of a dead sleep for school at 7:45 each day. On a weekend, she could easily sleep until 8:30am. Besides being annoyed my daughter is awake 2 hours early, the bigger issue is why would you be super loud and wake up everyone in the house at that hour. What about whispering? It was still dark out. I would never be a guest in someone else’s house and wake every one up because I didn’t feel like talking quietly. This issue has been discussed in the past. It is not new.

You sound like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

Are you even going to be able to cook the turkey??

Fingers crossed. They do have a counter top turkey roaster. I’m just going to walk the dogs (theirs and mine) every time I get annoyed. It’ll be cold - Chicago - but no one will follow me outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My house has weird bloodstains on the floor from the last owners.

Wut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL refuses to buy foods that the kids like and then makes us feel terrible because our kids are bad eaters. I’m not talking about sugared cereal (gasp!) or spaghetti-os level “kid food.” She made beef stew last night and tonight we are having fish because she got a good deal at the store (and because SHE likes that). The house is a museum and no games of any kind left over from Ds and three sibs. I’m not even sure they were allowed to sleep in the house as children (I know the dog wasn’t).

What is wrong with beef stew and fish? This is basic human food, not anything weird or unusual for kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m hosting so I am the weird one this year I guess.

My mom arrived after visiting my brother and falling down the steps. She keeps showing my DH and kids her bruises…on her butt. DH wants to die of embarrassment, I literally think she revels in his discomfort.

She then pulled her crack apart for me so I could see that her lady bits were bruised. They aren’t but I really didn’t need to view…that. I’m seriously questioning if I can permit our other guests to come Thursday, they might sue us after for IIED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL refuses to buy foods that the kids like and then makes us feel terrible because our kids are bad eaters. I’m not talking about sugared cereal (gasp!) or spaghetti-os level “kid food.” She made beef stew last night and tonight we are having fish because she got a good deal at the store (and because SHE likes that). The house is a museum and no games of any kind left over from Ds and three sibs. I’m not even sure they were allowed to sleep in the house as children (I know the dog wasn’t).

What is wrong with beef stew and fish? This is basic human food, not anything weird or unusual for kids.

A lot of people don’t like fish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

Why on earth would you cook a regular Thanksgiving meal? That's giving her an out, and now she'll expect the same from you going forward. You should fix (or order) something that doesn't have any association with Thanksgiving. That way she will get things catered next year and you won't be on duty to cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m hosting so I am the weird one this year I guess.

My mom arrived after visiting my brother and falling down the steps. She keeps showing my DH and kids her bruises…on her butt. DH wants to die of embarrassment, I literally think she revels in his discomfort.

She then pulled her crack apart for me so I could see that her lady bits were bruised. They aren’t but I really didn’t need to view…that. I’m seriously questioning if I can permit our other guests to come Thursday, they might sue us after for IIED.

Er... and why is she bruised down there?

Is this the exhibitionism that comes with her cognitive decline? She might belong in a nursing home.