Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I do believe many of them ended up being blessings in disguise.

However, I wish I had gotten my thyroid out earlier. My Graves’ disease has done permanent damage to my eyes and they will forever bulge out in an asymmetric way that I very self-conscious about. If I had gotten my thyroid out earlier, I think I could have avoided some of that damage.

[Anonymous]

Not having more sex in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do wish that I had the tools when I was much younger and married DH (amazing man, father, partner, lover) to find a way to commingle our families in a healthy way. We are both from different backgrounds and the disagreements from both sides was exhausting. At some point we had to choose a side and I chose my DH's family (more mentally stable). With that, I lost any closeness I had with my own family and eventually drifted apart where there is no communication. I wish I knew more when I was younger, wish I had someone outside of my DH to guide me. I do miss my family every single day, but the bridge is burned.

As long as people are alive, it's never too late. Reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

What if he is not separated, though? Or only kind of testing the waters. That would be so awful. He is one that would never, ever cheat, nor would I. I look for him in airports 😬

DH here: NGL, “I look for him in airports” got me right in the feels. PP: I kind of know what this feels like, I’d say reach out, the worst can say is “still taken” and take it from me you don’t want to wonder “what if” for decades.

I agree. This is romantic yet sad at the same time.
I wish I had married "the other guy," and I think of him often.

OP of this part of the thread: What is the worst that can happen? He says "nice to hear from you, hope all is well, I am still married to my wife" or he doesn't answer. Who knows what the best case could be. If the answer isn't what you want, will you be more crushed? In 5 years, will not reaching out be another big regret?

Please do it and come back to report! Let us live vicariously through you! Do it for DCUM!

Love this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having a second child. Now it’s getting to be too late and I have spent years grieving this.

Same. 😞😞😞

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

What if he is not separated, though? Or only kind of testing the waters. That would be so awful. He is one that would never, ever cheat, nor would I. I look for him in airports 😬

DH here: NGL, “I look for him in airports” got me right in the feels. PP: I kind of know what this feels like, I’d say reach out, the worst can say is “still taken” and take it from me you don’t want to wonder “what if” for decades.

🫶

I might consider it if I get strong clues that it’s a perma-separation or a divorce, but I really think if he’s free he will find me.

15 years ago, I pressured a colleague into calling her first husband from her 20s. We argued over this, because she felt I'd overstepped and I had. Long story, but she held a lot of regrets and felt like he was the one who got away. They ended up rekindling in their 50s and remarried until his death maybe 5 years later.

You need to reach out and stop making excuses not to. Respectfully.

[Anonymous]

^ agree with pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having more sex in college.

Me too, or at least I regret not taking some more risks with dating in high school and college. Lots of guys liked me. I was very social. But dating guys freaked me out. The few guys I did date were asses. I regret not having more fun back then.

But the flip side is that I probably wouldn’t have been in the right place to meet my husband right after college. Very happy 25 years later.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes regret not marrying someone just to have had a wedding. I think I would’ve made a nice bride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

What if he is not separated, though? Or only kind of testing the waters. That would be so awful. He is one that would never, ever cheat, nor would I. I look for him in airports 😬

DH here: NGL, “I look for him in airports” got me right in the feels. PP: I kind of know what this feels like, I’d say reach out, the worst can say is “still taken” and take it from me you don’t want to wonder “what if” for decades.

🫶

I might consider it if I get strong clues that it’s a perma-separation or a divorce, but I really think if he’s free he will find me.

15 years ago, I pressured a colleague into calling her first husband from her 20s. We argued over this, because she felt I'd overstepped and I had. Long story, but she held a lot of regrets and felt like he was the one who got away. They ended up rekindling in their 50s and remarried until his death maybe 5 years later.

You need to reach out and stop making excuses not to. Respectfully.

😱 They only had five years. That is devastating, but so much better than never getting back together. Well, you all have certainly given me quite a bit to think about. I’m going to nose around and see if I can figure out anything more about his possible separation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes regret not marrying someone just to have had a wedding. I think I would’ve made a nice bride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not having a second child. Now it’s getting to be too late and I have spent years grieving this.

Same. 😞😞😞

On the flip side, I regret having the second one. I love him, but I would have been happier with only 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do wish that I had the tools when I was much younger and married DH (amazing man, father, partner, lover) to find a way to commingle our families in a healthy way. We are both from different backgrounds and the disagreements from both sides was exhausting. At some point we had to choose a side and I chose my DH's family (more mentally stable). With that, I lost any closeness I had with my own family and eventually drifted apart where there is no communication. I wish I knew more when I was younger, wish I had someone outside of my DH to guide me. I do miss my family every single day, but the bridge is burned.

Reach out! Explain all of this. It’s worth a shot. You may be right that the bridge is burned but…what if you’re wrong?

[Anonymous]

Very easy question marrying my husband then waiting for him to show me love me, not mentally abuse me and just waiting...for decades....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I do believe many of them ended up being blessings in disguise.

However, I wish I had gotten my thyroid out earlier. My Graves’ disease has done permanent damage to my eyes and they will forever bulge out in an asymmetric way that I very self-conscious about. If I had gotten my thyroid out earlier, I think I could have avoided some of that damage.

I can relate PP. I have graves and still have my thyroid but have a large goiter, everyone stares. I'm scared to get mine out. Do you also have dry eyes?