Sooo am I just the best parent ever or are the others complete duds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yawn. I’m with my kids 24-7 never had a babysitter. We don’t need to put on a show in public and annoy others. The kindle or iPad and quiet is nice.

I’ve found the parents who can put on the biggest “I’m such an involved parent” show in public are the ones who work long hours and have a nanny or SAHP doing most the hard work.

Like yeah if you’re a big law partner who sees your kid for 20 minutes of story time and tuck in at night, you’re viewing the plane ride as a great opportunity for family time. But if you’re around your kids all the time doing stuff with them then sitting on a plane for 3 hours is a break in between all the other family time on the trip and elsewhere in your life.

Some of the biggest “super dads” I know who show up at big multi-family events and are out there hands on, throwing the ball with the kids, tossing them in the pool etc. are the ones who I know (from their wives) aren’t home by dinner time most nights and travel a lot go work. It’s a lot easier to have energy for all this when time with your kids is a novelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yawn. I’m with my kids 24-7 never had a babysitter. We don’t need to put on a show in public and annoy others. The kindle or iPad and quiet is nice.

I’ve found the parents who can put on the biggest “I’m such an involved parent” show in public are the ones who work long hours and have a nanny or SAHP doing most the hard work.

Like yeah if you’re a big law partner who sees your kid for 20 minutes of story time and tuck in at night, you’re viewing the plane ride as a great opportunity for family time. But if you’re around your kids all the time doing stuff with them then sitting on a plane for 3 hours is a break in between all the other family time on the trip and elsewhere in your life.

Some of the biggest “super dads” I know who show up at big multi-family events and are out there hands on, throwing the ball with the kids, tossing them in the pool etc. are the ones who I know (from their wives) aren’t home by dinner time most nights and travel a lot go work. It’s a lot easier to have energy for all this when time with your kids is a novelty.

That was my initial thought about OP. She must be a working mom because if she spent all summer with her kids, she would not be trying to spend this quality time with them on a plane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is being smug and maybe trolling, but it's also secretly judge the parents who rely 100% on iPads for travel. I have also noticed the families where each person has their device and they all just stare at their personal screen for the duration of the trip. I think it's lazy parenting and wonder if that's what their families are like at home too. I am glad my kid can get through a flight, even an international one, without an ipad. I guess I'm smug too.

Your number one job as a parent on the plane is to ensure your kid is a good traveler - ie, is polite to the flight attendant, quiet, etc. This is not the day to turn them into productive citizens.

+1

My last flight I had a child behind me who spent the first three hours kicking my chair and banging/slamming his hands and toys on the tray (which is obviously connected to my seat). He was whining so loudly I could hear him through my AirPods with the noise canceling on and music playing. At one point the dad finally gave him his phone and the child stopped moving and was quiet.

Next flight had a kid who didn’t have his own seat but was clearly the max age because he was talking and walking and the parents let him roam all over the plane. The kid tipped someone’s drink off their tray and it spilled all over them and I saw multiple people having to move around him to use the bathroom. He was also touching the people in the aisle seats as he walked by. I’m not saying that child should have had an iPad because he was young but no one wants your grubby kid touching them and getting in the way for five hours.

I think when you are on a plane it is your responsibility to not ruin the trip for everyone else near you. We have never allowed devices at restaurants but we will also immediately remove our children if they become rowdy. You can’t do that on a plane. So do what you need to do to keep your kids quiet and still. No one thinks they’re cute or wants to interact with them or be bothered by them. And we can’t escape you.

^^exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ipads and phones are addictive, and widely accepted in our culture as the standard way to fill time on plane trips, road trips, restaurants, etc.

Most people go along with prevailing cultural standards. You see this also in the insanely high levels of obesity/overweight, helicopter parenting, overbooking kids with activities, etc.

I appreciate your post. I think we all fail as parents in different ways at different times, but that’s not the point. The point is that it’s not normal or healthy for us and our kids to be on screens this much and it’s nice to have a reminder of that.

We have never had a device in public when at a grocery store (or any kind of store), any restaurant or other place to eat, a doctor’s/dentist’s office, a playground/theme park, or in the car if the trip is under three hours. But when we fly, our kids are allowed to use iPads. And it’s actually the only time my husband and I use ours as well. So maybe stop yourself and think that you have no idea how much screen time the kids you see are getting.

+1

We don’t use screens in public, but the airplane I don’t care. And we do have a dvd player in our minivan. But it only gets used for long road trips, not day to day car rides. It’s not like my kids are going to exercise or write the next great American novel as we head to the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, your talking and reading bother other people. You should be quit.

For real there is nothing more aggravating than a mom prattling on loudly about be kind! Ooo look there’s the sea! What is in the sea? Ooo so smart! While being a raging smug b. Too funny, but seriously, STFU.

OP has to be a troll, bc this would never work with an ES kid, like she claims. If I went on and on like that for 3+ hours on a plane, my ES kid would be ready to jump out of the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading aloud, and walking up and down the aisles sounds annoying and unsafe. Glad other parents are raising their kids with manners and prioritizing safety.

OK, I don't actually believe their way is better, just like I don't believe your way is better.

As a fellow passenger, I don't want to hear you reading to your kid. You probably stop at each row and expect everyone to ohh and ahh over your kid, too.

np I don't like op's smugness but, honestly her reading is fine. You should wear noise cancelling headphones if normal conversation bothers you

Ehhh you know if OP felt compelled to announce her superiority to an Internet forum of people who weren’t on her flight she most certainly made sure the passengers around her (especially if they were parents with kids on iPads) took note of how she “interacts” with her kids. I doubt this was quiet reading.

She literally got them out of their seats multiple times, which is annoying to those around her. Why would she not annoy people with reading probably in an annoying mommy voice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading aloud, and walking up and down the aisles sounds annoying and unsafe. Glad other parents are raising their kids with manners and prioritizing safety.

OK, I don't actually believe their way is better, just like I don't believe your way is better.

You must not fly much. Or go out to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids never use iPads outside the house (and v little insider the house - week or two goes by without in house screen time) but on flights they can watch as much as they like

I call bullsh!t on this one. No shot a week or two goes by without your kids scrolling their phones, watching TV, or playing a video game of some sort on an iPad or console. That's all screentime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Benadryl my kid. Much easier for everyone.

And I would really appreciate it if you could keep it down so my kid and I can sleep.

You get what you pay for. You’ll have to hear my obnoxious ass read the hungry caterpillar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yawn. I’m with my kids 24-7 never had a babysitter. We don’t need to put on a show in public and annoy others. The kindle or iPad and quiet is nice.

I’ve found the parents who can put on the biggest “I’m such an involved parent” show in public are the ones who work long hours and have a nanny or SAHP doing most the hard work.

Like yeah if you’re a big law partner who sees your kid for 20 minutes of story time and tuck in at night, you’re viewing the plane ride as a great opportunity for family time. But if you’re around your kids all the time doing stuff with them then sitting on a plane for 3 hours is a break in between all the other family time on the trip and elsewhere in your life.

Some of the biggest “super dads” I know who show up at big multi-family events and are out there hands on, throwing the ball with the kids, tossing them in the pool etc. are the ones who I know (from their wives) aren’t home by dinner time most nights and travel a lot go work. It’s a lot easier to have energy for all this when time with your kids is a novelty.

This is very true. My BIL is the "best dad ever" in public but I know from my sister that he has never ONCE put his own kids to bed! He is a big shot and always traveling and working late. So when he does see them it is exciting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol. You are the only one staring around noticing and judging though, right?

I have several kids and I am tired AF when we finally get on that plane after packing all their stuff and dealing with the hours it takes to get to the airport get the stroller car seat feed them security and I want to lay down. I want to sleep. I want to look at my phone. So they get too, too. Travel time is down time for us. It’s so nice. We are all happy. Why do you care? I refuse to feel inferior to you because you are performative parenting like a massive tool. If I saw you doing this I would just lol at your intense need for martyr recognition and go back to scrolling.

+1 a 3hr flight is not that long and we could manage without. But I don't think that being iPad free on travel is worthy of an award. Plenty of adults want to watch a movie on a flight too.

[Anonymous]

This whole thing is silly, but how about this... What if all parents who hand their kids devices are still good parents, but you're *extra* good. Does that work for you?

Or do you need the rest of us to feel bad in order for you to feel good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

Shrug. I do the same for my 2 year old. Every time we’ve flown I’ve gotten comments from my neighbors how surprised they are I can keep DS quiet and engaged without screens. He’s definitely sitting still - he climbs all over his seat and me but he stays quiet and does not disturb other passengers. But I also don’t judge the other parents for using screens.

WTF, lady. Buy a clue. In no way is that not insanely disturbing.

Right? Lololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I Benadryl my kid. Much easier for everyone.

And I would really appreciate it if you could keep it down so my kid and I can sleep.

You get what you pay for. You’ll have to hear my obnoxious ass read the hungry caterpillar

dp I love that book! I might listen in