Sooo am I just the best parent ever or are the others complete duds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

That poster’s spouse is probably internally like “OMG will my wife NEVER stop talking? Sigh.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on a 4 hour flight recently. A family with 3 kids decided that they will give the kids iPad for only two hours. The oldest two read for the first two hours. However, the youngest one hit my seat more times that I can count, didn’t stop talking and asking for the iPad. Once she gave him the iPad he was quit. The mom is probably proud that they didn’t watch iPad the whole time. But the child was bothering their fellow passengers for two hours straight.

This thread is interesting because people are talking about several different metrics for what is considered good parenting on a plane.

A lot of people are basing their assessment on the degree to which a parent minimizes annoyance of their kids to other passengers. By this metric giving your child an iPad and headphones for the duration of the flight is great parenting if it keeps the child silent and still for the flight. Because the parenting is judged by how much the child impacts others sitting nearby.

Others including OP are basing their assessment based on a broader evaluation of what is best for the child. Unsurprisingly there is NO agreement in this group because no one agrees on what kids need. Do they need to be interact with and be entertained by their parents? A chance to move around? Or do they need a break and a chance to relax with a screen? No one has mentioned this but I have a kid who is a nervous flyer sometimes. We will sometimes use screens to help her relax so she doesn't freak out during takeoff or turbulence. I used to have some fear of flying and I know there is no distraction quite as good as a good movie or funny tv show to get me through my nerves. OP may never have dealt with a kid who gets scared of flying though.

And then there are people who are focused on the parents comfort and happiness. Which does matter! Yes there are sitautions where a parent is simply exhausted and needs a break and screens can provide that. This is true no matter what though. All parents know that you can use a screen as a limited babysitter when you just need some time to yourself and for your kids to stop pestering you for a while. We also know that if we use this too much it can be more trouble than it's worth because screen-addicted kids are their own kind of nightmare (we had to screen diet our kid after the initial months of Covid shut down because we definitely over-relied on screens to give ourselves a break when we were dealing with loss of childcare and work from home).

Anyway I think the reason a lot of people are talking past each other on this thread is because people are discussing totally different things. Here's my two cents for what it is worth:

I think just planting your kids in front of screens for the duration of a flight is probably not ideal for the kids -- I do think as a parent it's useful for kids to learn to entertain themselves in situations like flights and long car rides and other situations without looking at a screen. So my strategy is generally to bring screens but also not just hand them out instantly -- see how it goes and use them as an option and not an automatic. But also there maybe certain trips where you are just wiped and it's like "yes here is an iPad please leave me alone until we land." But if I did that all the time I know that's not great parenting.

In terms of impacting other people: kicking or climbing on seats is an absolute no and gets shut down immediately (regardless of screens -- kids will kick seats while watching a screen so it doesn't solve it). Talking or playing games is fine. It's not a library. I agree on short flights that getting up constantly with kids is annoying -- have them use the bathroom before the flight and limit liquids even if only for your own sake. On long international flights I don't mind people getting up and moving around some but I think if you are a family you should try to book seats in a way that will minimize having to force other people to get up so your 4 year old can go to the bathroom multiple times.

I mean, how much are you flying that iPad on a flight is “all the time”? I am a no iPad or screen in restaurants mom but seriously flying is really uncomfortable and unpleasant (we are a family of all kinds of motion sickness) and it is totally fine to have a screen for the grand total of 15 maybe 20 hours a year we fly. It is a drop in the bucket of their lives. Anyone who bases their self worth on not using a screen on a flight has my condolences for their insanely boring life and complete lack of perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

DP no one is asking for absolute quiet. Tell the flight attendant what you want to drink, softly talk your spouse as needed. But CHATTING is so rude. It’s like talking on your phone in an elevator for hours. Or talking in church. No one can get away from you. Shush already like a civilized human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

No room to walk child down aisle if you are hogging it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

DP no one is asking for absolute quiet. Tell the flight attendant what you want to drink, softly talk your spouse as needed. But CHATTING is so rude. It’s like talking on your phone in an elevator for hours. Or talking in church. No one can get away from you. Shush already like a civilized human.

Sucks to be you. I am quiet abd respectful but there is no 'quiet' car on the plane. Get over yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids never use iPads outside the house (and v little insider the house - week or two goes by without in house screen time) but on flights they can watch as much as they like

I call bullsh!t on this one. No shot a week or two goes by without your kids scrolling their phones, watching TV, or playing a video game of some sort on an iPad or console. That's all screentime.

Dp. There are absolutely families whose children are like this. The kids don’t have phones and do activities and routines that fill up the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

I’m going to take a wild guess and say you only have girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

DP no one is asking for absolute quiet. Tell the flight attendant what you want to drink, softly talk your spouse as needed. But CHATTING is so rude. It’s like talking on your phone in an elevator for hours. Or talking in church. No one can get away from you. Shush already like a civilized human.

You are in coach dear. It’s free for all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

This is actually a decent troll post, lol. Bonus points for calling it X instead of Twitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Planes are not the time for conversation! If you and your spouse fly together someplace are you chatting? No! You’re watching Netflix or plane entertainment.

Yes I chat with my spouse on the plane all the time. We also read and watch movies. Do you think everyone is supposed to be silent the entire time on a plane?

Yes. Yes I do. We are in a confined space. I don’t want to listen to you, you don’t want to listen to me. We are screen-free EXCEPT planes. I’m teaching my kids to be courteous in public spaces and not being loud is part of that.

dp Sorry but, fly in your private jet if you want absolute quiet.

DP no one is asking for absolute quiet. Tell the flight attendant what you want to drink, softly talk your spouse as needed. But CHATTING is so rude. It’s like talking on your phone in an elevator for hours. Or talking in church. No one can get away from you. Shush already like a civilized human.

What elevators are you on that people are talking for HOURS? Is there a space elevator now? Did I miss the announcement?

A plane is not church. It is normal and acceptable to have a soft conversation if it’s not “light’s out” on an overnight flight. It’s fine for kids, families, and singles to use devices (whether or not they use them at home) with earphones or to have quiet read alouds, play cards or whatever. A plane is not like church. It’s not even like a movie theater. Get some noise canceling headphones and mind your own damn business. Other humans exist and do things differently than you. Cope.

[Anonymous]

If you ES kid isn’t regularly raw dogging 5+ hour international flights then what is there to brag about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

Geez, I don't WANT to engage with my kids on an airplane. I want them to be quiet so I can be a complete dud.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This was not a troll post. But I fully anticipated being flamed. What else to expect from a bunch of screen-addicted parents with screen-addicted kids?

Literally, these kids are being raised to not develop the capability of amusing themselves. Same for parents - they need to scroll mindlessly to “relax”. It’s like the person who needs a bottle of wine a day to “relax” from work. It’s kind of pathetic but whatever, it’s their lives. I don’t judge so much as pity the addiction…

But when you use a screen to come on DCUM and post it’s totally different amirite?