Sooo am I just the best parent ever or are the others complete duds?

[Anonymous]

Butttt why

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, on international flights people definitely want you to be quiet so everyone can sleep. When they dim the lights, you're not supposed to be chatting.

I've actually seen flight attendants in business tell parents to try and quiet their kids. So I'm pretty sure OP has never been on a long haul flight - let alone in business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly a cultural problem. Current American culture is pretty child unfriendly. People don't like to interact with a stranger's kid, and expect kids to be quiet and mostly out of sight (just look at responses in this thread). They expect their flights to be quiet and everyone to be self entertained, as opposed to chatting up strangers like yesteryears. We had a recent flight where not a single person or flight attendant even smiled at my young kids. In this environment, screen time is really a must for parents because no one wants to feel your kid's existence.

In other cultures, it could be different. I don't expect strangers to gush over my kids but when we are on flights or places with a lot of Asians (esp older Asian), for example, the adults love to try to interact with my kids. It is just a more child friendly and centered culture, and my kids can pass some time interacting with these adults. I was once on a flight when my son was 5 months old and he basically played peekaboo with an elderly foreign couple for the entire 2 hour flight. It was great for us parents.

American parenting is just exhausting, lonely, full of judgement.

OP here. You are probably right. The prevailing attitude seems to be that children must immediately be put on a screen so they will sit down/shut up and let adults pacify themselves with their own screens. This adult dependency/ addiction is such a terrible example to set - people are claiming they only do it on planes, but I doubt it.

We take long flights to visit family in Europe and Asia annually, during which time we do a mix of screens and non-screen entertainment like cards, travel-size board games, reading, chatting. We are usually in the business class semi-private cubicles so we are not really disturbing anyone, but I wouldn’t see a problem with doing this in economy either when the lights are on. It’s what my parents and siblings and I did when we were young on long-haul international flights.

And a 3 hour domestic flight is not so stressful that you immediately need to stick your kid and yourself on a screen. There’s so many interesting things to observe, even for kids who have been on flights before. The take-off procedure, flight attendants serving drinks and snacks, landing procedure. Heck, I’ve been on hundreds of flights and still enjoy observing and chatting these things. I strongly feel that kids (and adults) who are stuck on screens miss out on observing the world. But maybe they are too sophisticated and jaded to really care.

I want to know why you need to constantly like praise yourself for making a different parenting choice than other people. It screams insecurity.

Also the humblebrag about business class. Oy vey.

OP is probably one of the most pathetic parents I've seen on DCUM. And that is saying something.

OP is a troll. Only once people pointed out that 3 hours is not really a long haul flight did she double down on her “Asia in business class!” gambit.

Asia AND Europe, yearly in business. With two small kids. HAHA - yeahhhh.

OP here. Spring break to Europe, early part of summer break to Asia. And we obviously tone down the noise during lights-out time, so we have never been shushed by a flight attendant. But if imagining that I am lying makes you feel better about yourself, be my guest

[Anonymous]

You're doing a great job, OP. The parents who are creating screen addictions are causing nightmares for schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been intentionally low screen in our house and we did a similar thing on planes. The result is that my kid has developed the skills to chat with people and entertain himself without a screen. My rule was that we had to be considerate of others and I never talked and narrated the whole time. I think that is just as annoying as the parents who let their kids on tablets without headphones.

We’ve been doing this since he was a toddler. Things that kept him occupied were window clings, lots of snacks, cheerio necklaces, and quiet toys like Wix sticks. As he got older we did more quiet card games, puzzles, and now in 2nd grade he mostly reads, listens to audio books, writes, and looks through the seat back stuff. Now that he is older he gets to watch TV if the plane has a screen, but most of his time is no screen. He’s done 16+ hour flights this way and fellow passengers have been commenting on how pleasant he is, so it can be done!

But again, my most important rule was not annoying anyone else on the plane. We are in very close quarters for hours.

OP here. These are the exact skills I want to develop in my children. And to add to that, I want them to observe and understand their fellow humans and the world around them with all its warts. Not just some sanitized, curated version. I don’t think that is compatible with constantly being on a device when in a public space.

I love the activities you mentioned for the toddler set - I’ll try them sometime. I also bring blank greeting cards or even just blank paper and ask my elementary schooler to write and illustrate thank-you notes on our flights home from visiting family. Good way to kill an hour

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly a cultural problem. Current American culture is pretty child unfriendly. People don't like to interact with a stranger's kid, and expect kids to be quiet and mostly out of sight (just look at responses in this thread). They expect their flights to be quiet and everyone to be self entertained, as opposed to chatting up strangers like yesteryears. We had a recent flight where not a single person or flight attendant even smiled at my young kids. In this environment, screen time is really a must for parents because no one wants to feel your kid's existence.

In other cultures, it could be different. I don't expect strangers to gush over my kids but when we are on flights or places with a lot of Asians (esp older Asian), for example, the adults love to try to interact with my kids. It is just a more child friendly and centered culture, and my kids can pass some time interacting with these adults. I was once on a flight when my son was 5 months old and he basically played peekaboo with an elderly foreign couple for the entire 2 hour flight. It was great for us parents.

American parenting is just exhausting, lonely, full of judgement.

OP here. You are probably right. The prevailing attitude seems to be that children must immediately be put on a screen so they will sit down/shut up and let adults pacify themselves with their own screens. This adult dependency/ addiction is such a terrible example to set - people are claiming they only do it on planes, but I doubt it.

We take long flights to visit family in Europe and Asia annually, during which time we do a mix of screens and non-screen entertainment like cards, travel-size board games, reading, chatting. We are usually in the business class semi-private cubicles so we are not really disturbing anyone, but I wouldn’t see a problem with doing this in economy either when the lights are on. It’s what my parents and siblings and I did when we were young on long-haul international flights.

And a 3 hour domestic flight is not so stressful that you immediately need to stick your kid and yourself on a screen. There’s so many interesting things to observe, even for kids who have been on flights before. The take-off procedure, flight attendants serving drinks and snacks, landing procedure. Heck, I’ve been on hundreds of flights and still enjoy observing and chatting these things. I strongly feel that kids (and adults) who are stuck on screens miss out on observing the world. But maybe they are too sophisticated and jaded to really care.

I want to know why you need to constantly like praise yourself for making a different parenting choice than other people. It screams insecurity.

So, I actually don’t think I deserve any praise… I think engaging your kids, chatting with them, observing the world together, showing them there’s a life outside of screens is the bare minimum duty for a decent well-educated parent. I don’t expect a pat on the back for feeding them three meals a day either!

But then I see all the other parents who can’t even be bothered, who stick their kids on screens so they can stick themselves on screens and tune out the world, and it feels like a Twilight zone. Hence the title of my post. I don’t actually think I’m the best parent ever… but I am surprised to see so many duds!

The poster who brought up American culture as a contributing factor has a very valid point though.

I don’t completely disagree with you on this point. Engaging with your kids and talking about the world is very important. But it’s not limited to only airplanes. Who is to say that they didn’t ooo and ahh at the marvels of taking off and watching the city gets smaller as you rise up into the air? They could have and then put on a movie. That’s OK.

I have been around some parents who are constantly narrating every single little bit of life and just listening to a minute of that is exhausting. I cannot imagine an entire 3 hour flight with a constant stream of narration about the airplane! and the clouds!, the seats! and pilot!

You can converse without narration. I actually can’t remember the last time I narrated, if ever. And you can interact/engage without much talking either, like playing a card game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Benadryl my kid. Much easier for everyone.

And I would really appreciate it if you could keep it down so my kid and I can sleep.

I love you so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was on a 3-hour flight. Packed books, toys, cards and travel games to engage our preschooler and elementary schooler. Spent the rest of the time talking, reading quietly together, closing our eyes. Walked down the aisle a few times for bathroom trips, and each time, every single other family - kid on iPad, parent scrolling X or Instagram on their phone.

What gives?

(Ready for flames for being holier-than-thou, but seriously, what gives? Travel time is great for talking and engaging)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ipads and phones are addictive, and widely accepted in our culture as the standard way to fill time on plane trips, road trips, restaurants, etc.

Most people go along with prevailing cultural standards. You see this also in the insanely high levels of obesity/overweight, helicopter parenting, overbooking kids with activities, etc.

I appreciate your post. I think we all fail as parents in different ways at different times, but that’s not the point. The point is that it’s not normal or healthy for us and our kids to be on screens this much and it’s nice to have a reminder of that.

This post is brought to you by the letter "S", for self-righteous and sanctimonious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I don’t know what time of time she spends with her kids but anyone who spends a lot of time with one another doesn’t need to talk on the plane. It is more people who don’t see one another much would be the ones who want to spend all this quality time together on the plane.

My neighbor is a SAhM to 4 kids. She spends all day everyday with the kids. She is just trying to survive the flight.

I talk to my spouse and kids at home but uh we also talk on planes. Not like nonstop or anything but we'll have a conversation.

I don't get the whole "I'm just trying to survive the flight" thing either. Flying is not that difficult. Sure there are times when it's a huge hassle -- if you are on a flight that got delayed or you wind up with some huge annoyance like getting stuck on the tarmac for an hour before take off or horrible turbulence. But most flights are just... fine. I'm not in crisis and reaching for iPads to shut up kids because otherwise I just won't make it. And that includes on international flights. Kids will watch devices some (on an international flight usually at least one movie and if a very long flight of 10+ at least two). But also we will talk and play games and read.

Travel is not some horrible hardship. And if traveling with kids is so difficult that you simply must placate them with devices the whole time then maybe don't travel so much. It's optional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly a cultural problem. Current American culture is pretty child unfriendly. People don't like to interact with a stranger's kid, and expect kids to be quiet and mostly out of sight (just look at responses in this thread). They expect their flights to be quiet and everyone to be self entertained, as opposed to chatting up strangers like yesteryears. We had a recent flight where not a single person or flight attendant even smiled at my young kids. In this environment, screen time is really a must for parents because no one wants to feel your kid's existence.

In other cultures, it could be different. I don't expect strangers to gush over my kids but when we are on flights or places with a lot of Asians (esp older Asian), for example, the adults love to try to interact with my kids. It is just a more child friendly and centered culture, and my kids can pass some time interacting with these adults. I was once on a flight when my son was 5 months old and he basically played peekaboo with an elderly foreign couple for the entire 2 hour flight. It was great for us parents.

American parenting is just exhausting, lonely, full of judgement.

OP here. You are probably right. The prevailing attitude seems to be that children must immediately be put on a screen so they will sit down/shut up and let adults pacify themselves with their own screens. This adult dependency/ addiction is such a terrible example to set - people are claiming they only do it on planes, but I doubt it.

We take long flights to visit family in Europe and Asia annually, during which time we do a mix of screens and non-screen entertainment like cards, travel-size board games, reading, chatting. We are usually in the business class semi-private cubicles so we are not really disturbing anyone, but I wouldn’t see a problem with doing this in economy either when the lights are on. It’s what my parents and siblings and I did when we were young on long-haul international flights.

And a 3 hour domestic flight is not so stressful that you immediately need to stick your kid and yourself on a screen. There’s so many interesting things to observe, even for kids who have been on flights before. The take-off procedure, flight attendants serving drinks and snacks, landing procedure. Heck, I’ve been on hundreds of flights and still enjoy observing and chatting these things. I strongly feel that kids (and adults) who are stuck on screens miss out on observing the world. But maybe they are too sophisticated and jaded to really care.

I want to know why you need to constantly like praise yourself for making a different parenting choice than other people. It screams insecurity.

Also the humblebrag about business class. Oy vey.

OP is probably one of the most pathetic parents I've seen on DCUM. And that is saying something.

OP is a troll. Only once people pointed out that 3 hours is not really a long haul flight did she double down on her “Asia in business class!” gambit.

Asia AND Europe, yearly in business. With two small kids. HAHA - yeahhhh.

OP here. Spring break to Europe, early part of summer break to Asia. And we obviously tone down the noise during lights-out time, so we have never been shushed by a flight attendant. But if imagining that I am lying makes you feel better about yourself, be my guest

Sounds like bad parenting not to be considerate that others may want quiet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been intentionally low screen in our house and we did a similar thing on planes. The result is that my kid has developed the skills to chat with people and entertain himself without a screen. My rule was that we had to be considerate of others and I never talked and narrated the whole time. I think that is just as annoying as the parents who let their kids on tablets without headphones.

We’ve been doing this since he was a toddler. Things that kept him occupied were window clings, lots of snacks, cheerio necklaces, and quiet toys like Wix sticks. As he got older we did more quiet card games, puzzles, and now in 2nd grade he mostly reads, listens to audio books, writes, and looks through the seat back stuff. Now that he is older he gets to watch TV if the plane has a screen, but most of his time is no screen. He’s done 16+ hour flights this way and fellow passengers have been commenting on how pleasant he is, so it can be done!

But again, my most important rule was not annoying anyone else on the plane. We are in very close quarters for hours.

OP here. These are the exact skills I want to develop in my children. And to add to that, I want them to observe and understand their fellow humans and the world around them with all its warts. Not just some sanitized, curated version. I don’t think that is compatible with constantly being on a device when in a public space.

I love the activities you mentioned for the toddler set - I’ll try them sometime. I also bring blank greeting cards or even just blank paper and ask my elementary schooler to write and illustrate thank-you notes on our flights home from visiting family. Good way to kill an hour

Op, you’re an insufferable ass. Nobody cares. And get out more and get over yourself. I do school admissions and every single parent at every competitive to get in school in the area is doing all of this and more every single day. And many of them don’t work, so they don’t do it on flights and vacations only. I’m sure they are in other communities too but these are the ones I see regularly. You’re not special, you’re relatively wealthy and educated, and doing the things such people do. You are also a raging self congratulatory bore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is partly a cultural problem. Current American culture is pretty child unfriendly. People don't like to interact with a stranger's kid, and expect kids to be quiet and mostly out of sight (just look at responses in this thread). They expect their flights to be quiet and everyone to be self entertained, as opposed to chatting up strangers like yesteryears. We had a recent flight where not a single person or flight attendant even smiled at my young kids. In this environment, screen time is really a must for parents because no one wants to feel your kid's existence.

In other cultures, it could be different. I don't expect strangers to gush over my kids but when we are on flights or places with a lot of Asians (esp older Asian), for example, the adults love to try to interact with my kids. It is just a more child friendly and centered culture, and my kids can pass some time interacting with these adults. I was once on a flight when my son was 5 months old and he basically played peekaboo with an elderly foreign couple for the entire 2 hour flight. It was great for us parents.

American parenting is just exhausting, lonely, full of judgement.

OP here. You are probably right. The prevailing attitude seems to be that children must immediately be put on a screen so they will sit down/shut up and let adults pacify themselves with their own screens. This adult dependency/ addiction is such a terrible example to set - people are claiming they only do it on planes, but I doubt it.

We take long flights to visit family in Europe and Asia annually, during which time we do a mix of screens and non-screen entertainment like cards, travel-size board games, reading, chatting. We are usually in the business class semi-private cubicles so we are not really disturbing anyone, but I wouldn’t see a problem with doing this in economy either when the lights are on. It’s what my parents and siblings and I did when we were young on long-haul international flights.

And a 3 hour domestic flight is not so stressful that you immediately need to stick your kid and yourself on a screen. There’s so many interesting things to observe, even for kids who have been on flights before. The take-off procedure, flight attendants serving drinks and snacks, landing procedure. Heck, I’ve been on hundreds of flights and still enjoy observing and chatting these things. I strongly feel that kids (and adults) who are stuck on screens miss out on observing the world. But maybe they are too sophisticated and jaded to really care.

I want to know why you need to constantly like praise yourself for making a different parenting choice than other people. It screams insecurity.

Also the humblebrag about business class. Oy vey.

OP is probably one of the most pathetic parents I've seen on DCUM. And that is saying something.

OP is a troll. Only once people pointed out that 3 hours is not really a long haul flight did she double down on her “Asia in business class!” gambit.

Asia AND Europe, yearly in business. With two small kids. HAHA - yeahhhh.

OP here. Spring break to Europe, early part of summer break to Asia. And we obviously tone down the noise during lights-out time, so we have never been shushed by a flight attendant. But if imagining that I am lying makes you feel better about yourself, be my guest

Sounds like bad parenting not to be considerate that others may want quiet

Which is almost everyone, for most of the flight on a flight to Asia, except apparently OP‘s family.

[Anonymous]

What a narcissists rant! No, you are not the best parent ever, you are a horrible narc and your child will be abused by you and live with the norrifle parent their whole lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 hours is nothing! I took my kids on a 12 hour flight with no iPad! You lose OP.

Right? I took my two kids, from birth until late elementary, on planes, and there was no iPhone or iPad; they didn't exist, and somehow I survived, and they are doing fine. We traveled from Johannesburg to Atlanta, then to Denver, then back to Africa, then via Mauritius to France, and further to East Africa. Yearly or more, we made that trip! With DD never sleeping and me carrying her and rocking her on my chest until she was 3. She had insane health issues.
Nobody ever gave me a cookie! Narcissists like OP just going to narc till they self destruct, but they will take every family member down with them.