Intellectually Pretentious DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has a friend like this - I think everyone had a friend like this when they were that age, honestly - and she's sweet and fun and yes, the brags can be annoying at times, but all the kids just ignore it and the parents know that she'll grow out of it! Don't worry too much, OP, and ignore the mean responses.

She won't grow out of it unless her parents teach her. My son has a 6th grade classmate who is still like this.

I have a neighbor who will try to mention her LSAT scores and what colleges she got into but decided to not go to and even her HS GPA. Its so bizarre.

For my 6yo son when he says comparative things i just say "you can tell me you're proud of your spelling test without it having anything to do with how other people did" or "you have a reason to be proud of moving ahead in math, but you can be proud of something and your family can be proud of you without needing to make sure other people know. take your friend sarah - you know she's good at soccer because you can see that and you're happy for her that she's so good at something she loves. but if every day she said "i'm so good at soccer!!" to everyone, you'd all just find her super annoying"

[Anonymous]

I was like that when I was little. Now looking back, my parents were busy and I had two younger siblings so it was my way of attention seeking. It stuck though(luckily not the attitude but academic ambition and the need to prove myself). After two ivy degrees and a phd, I am still in therapy. Spend time with the kid OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a niece like this (she's fine now). Do adults a favor and shoo her away from adult conversations. My niece would always interject and my sister let it happen.

THIS. It’s not cute. It’s not charming. It’s annoying as hell.

NOT this.

First, kids don’t appreciate that behavior, either. They don’t need to have her inflicted on them and the social consequences for her will be negative.

Secondly, hanging around adults will give her the benefit of seeing them model good conversational habits and help her understand she’s not brilliant.

Most importantly, she will learn when you teach her. As Pp indicated, she needs to have someone sit her down and explain why her behavior is rude and is unacceptable. Give her reminders when necessary to break the habit, and if she deliberately persists, give her consequences to disincentivize the behavior and help her remember not to be so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a niece like this (she's fine now). Do adults a favor and shoo her away from adult conversations. My niece would always interject and my sister let it happen.

My now 9 year old nephew is like this also and has been for a couple of years. It's annoying. He compares himself to my 7 year old son a lot to show he is smarter and my son no longer wants him coming over. I don't push it because I absolutely get now why he really doesn't have any great friendships. I think it's because my nephew really is only around adults and his smarts is his strength and what he has to be proud of.

[Anonymous]

She’s 7. People here need to calm down. I don’t know why random remarks from a 7 year old are enough to make so many people on this board so insecure and self-conscious… but that’s the nature of DCUM.

Anyway, OP, it sounds like she wants more attention for her accomplishments and needs some social skills help. I’d particularly focus on statements that could make others feel bad (saying other kids take too long to do their work, for instance). This is when she should be learning kindness and empathy. It would be great to redirect that energy into praise or help for others. It would also be good to talk about how our words could affect others, and that it’s not necessary to brag about our accomplishments.

Overall, this really isn’t a big deal. It is a good age to address it, though.

[Anonymous]

I was kinda this kid for awhile— a total Hermione Granger type. I was less braggy but super talkative and probably extremely annoying to other students and teachers (though I was also kind of a teacher’s pet). I had a lot to say and comment on in class. My hand was ALWAYS up in the air. I didn’t mean anything by it— I loved school and otherwise didn’t have a super happy childhood. I definitely was seeking praise and attention. I lost that as I got older and developed close friendships. I have a lot of sympathy for the girl here and think she may just need to grow out of it.

[Anonymous]

Read Growth Mindset OP, and try to work on that with her. I was like your daughter and having a growth mindset would have helped me A TON!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be worried that she’s a PITA.

Op here. She's cute. But even I find it obnoxious sometimes. How can she learn to turn this off?

She's 7, let her be annoying and let her make mistakes & learn. Be ready to pick up the pieces when she's not well liked, that's what we do as parents