I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you must contact her, share the name of a good therapist or self-esteem coach and tell her the person really helped heal a single friend whose life was a mess. That would be savage.

Yes, please say this as the wife that took back her chaeting husband... to the person he cheated on her with.

As a former AP, I would laugh my hot a$$ off if one of you crusty old wives said something like that to me. Savage, indeed.

Oh dear. Sorry about your terminally low self-esteem, but sadly, your act here isn’t fooling anyone with a brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Betrayed wives lashing out at the universe like wounded feral cats… with no sense of pride or dignity.

It’s really awful that your DH betrayed you. Honestly. But the psychological damage that’s been done is painfully evident to everyone else listening to your rants and assertions of how “great” you feel! It’s really weird and off-putting. I have no doubt the confronted OW was “shaking” … you sound like a lunatic.

If you want to be known as broken and weird from here on out, then do you I guess. But I personally would prefer not to become a caricature of the jilted wife for others’ amusement and gossip.

You sound like a cheater. Shrug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man these threads fire up the OW/APs out there.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will be bad karma for you.

Focus on what you want in your life. Let her live her life. You trying to mess with her in any way just means that you feel weak inside and hurt. You need to deal with those feelings in a healthy way. Confronting her doesn’t take away those feelings. It’s an illusion. It actually feeds your hurt and is a way of keeping you tied to this whole mess instead of becoming free of it.

I get that you’ve been traumatized and feel that something outside of your choice happened to you. I think that now you have choices, and if you choose to keep being controlled by this and letting it have power over you, you’re going to end up in a victim position and that will not lead you to a better life.

Wow. You are so wise PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be better to contact her husband if she has one. Do it anonymously.

Or pretend to be a 2nd or 3rd AP, to mess with her thinking she was special. And then say that the husband gave her an STD

Spreading lies about STD status is legally considered character assassination. By all means, go ahead and engage and get yourself sued. Knock yourself out.

Oh, PLEASE. You have no idea what you’re talking about. “You should get tested” isn’t “character assassination” and anyone who sued for that will send up losing after paying several thousand dollars in legal fees. Take a seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you will get NOTHING from this. She will get something from this. Do NOT do this.

Much easier said than done, but you must abstain.

Things will only get 1000x worse for you.

Instead of investing your precious time + energy contacting this woman….
Why not use it for something that will benefit you in the long run??

Like getting a divorce from the rat.

[Anonymous]

Get your own AP! You’re just jealous. Seriously have some fun with a hot guy and you’ll be less concerned about your husband cheating. You need to focus on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted before and I know that tge overwhelming advice is not to, but I am really thinking I have to or it’s going to bother me forever. Anyone do this and glad they did?

Yes he’s the one I hold accountable, but it’s a matter of pride or something deep in me that feels this need so strongly.

Just divorce . Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man these threads fire up the OW/APs out there.

Yes they do, the only thing better is reading their posts over Xmas when they are so sad and bitter their soul mate is with his wife and not answering her texts.

You spend your “happy family” Christmas day … reading DCUM posts of APs to take pleasure in their (imagined) sadness?

Wow, your cheating DH seriously screwed up your head. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Some drunk AP or former drunk AP was on a rampage last night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man these threads fire up the OW/APs out there.

Yes they do, the only thing better is reading their posts over Xmas when they are so sad and bitter their soul mate is with his wife and not answering her texts.

Poor wives spending Christmas with community penises. 🤮

Agree but most don’t know about it. But you’re happy with your community P. 🤮

Nope. My DH does not cheat. I married a man with integrity.

And if he ever lost that integrity, and I chose to stay, I won't be claiming victory over keeping a community penis. Spending Christmas with someone like that would be sad.

Nobody is claiming victory in these scenarios you sound delusional

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man these threads fire up the OW/APs out there.

Yes they do, the only thing better is reading their posts over Xmas when they are so sad and bitter their soul mate is with his wife and not answering her texts.

It’s just as likely that the OW is spending the holidays with a new single boyfriend who doesn’t cheat on her.

There are far more sad and bitter posts from betrayed wives than OWs here. And I say this as someone neutral who has never been either.

Look, having an affair with a married man is an awful thing to do. And I feel terrible for women who are betrayed by their husbands. I think they should leave their husbands because based on how smug they are that they “won” the competition for a worthless man, they are damaged beyond repair.

The fact is that even if the OW is discarded by your husband, she’s free. While you are married to a man you’ll never trust. There are no winners in these situations, except maybe the lousy husbands who know that they can cheat and be forgiven.

Except that’s just an uninformed opinion. I know many OW and they are not just some carefree nymph who rides off into the sunset with Ken doll. They are ridiculously damaged humans with many mental health issues.

I’m not married to a cheater or an alcoholic or a marathon runner. All 3 are onus ways keen deal with deep mental health issues. Cheating, drinking, and running yourself into a an orthopedic surgery have nothing to do with the wife for the marriage.

Yes, and the upright kind and caring woman is left with a broken man, trying to hold s**t together for their children.

It’s sad and there are no winners. But I wouldn’t blame my wife for cheating, drinking or excessive running.. I also wouldn’t make her feel bad for being married to one.

[Anonymous]

All 3 are are ways men deal with deep mental health issues. *

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man these threads fire up the OW/APs out there.

Yes they do, the only thing better is reading their posts over Xmas when they are so sad and bitter their soul mate is with his wife and not answering her texts.

You spend your “happy family” Christmas day … reading DCUM posts of APs to take pleasure in their (imagined) sadness?

Wow, your cheating DH seriously screwed up your head. Good luck with that.

My husband doesn’t have an affair partner. And yes, sometimes I grab my phone and look at DCUM the two weeks I have off of Christmas. And the amount of.OW on this site during that time it’s freaking insane.

Don’t even get me started about New Year’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you must contact her, share the name of a good therapist or self-esteem coach and tell her the person really helped heal a single friend whose life was a mess. That would be savage.

Yes, please say this as the wife that took back her chaeting husband... to the person he cheated on her with.

As a former AP, I would laugh my hot a$$ off if one of you crusty old wives said something like that to me. Savage, indeed.

Oh dear. Sorry about your terminally low self-esteem, but sadly, your act here isn’t fooling anyone with a brain.

It always surprises me how 0W always try to exude hubris, but they really don’t even see how damaged and pathetic they are.

I’ve had a couple friends who are OWs. They act like they’re all bad and strong and in control one or just a complete effing mess.

Daddy issues are a real thing.