Parents of Color, How diverse is your school? Is it going well for your child socially and academic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the group is for parents only then I have no problem with it being only for black parents. If its families and kids are invited, all should be welcomed.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the group is for parents only then I have no problem with it being only for black parents. If its families and kids are invited, all should be welcomed.

Agreed.

++. It sounds like the planning for the event grew out of a Black parents affinity group wanting to have an event with their (Black) children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Seems like the event was for parents of color (which OP is not so she shouldn’t attend) not parents of students of color (which OP is and this is a larger group).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Anyone black is welcomed to a group for black parents and students so they have a space safe. How hard is that to understand? The crazy poster who wants to go to the media is the exact reason why the DEI director was so adamant that only black parents and students should attend. Crazy poster you gave absolutely no idea what POC have to go through at schools. We need a place to vent, celebrate, to ask each other for advice. How can you not understand that having you there would change the dynamics?

Actually, anyone should be welcome in any group. If it were just a group for white parents, it would be considered racist, so why is it ok for one racial group to self-segregate and not another? It's not ok for any group to be that secretive and exclusive at a school. The school is there for black students so any parent of a black student should be allowed.

This group is signifcantly underrepresented at the school and likely there is ongoing discrimination. They probably wanted to form a parents group almost as a support group. The group would likely help with the school retaining more AA families if they had a way to connect and have their voices heard. I generally have a problem with deviseness etc but the DEI coordinator took a stance that was difficult and necessary. Why make an entire group of parents uncomfortable to please one Karen. (I diapise that term but you are being a Karen) why do you want to attend anyway? It was a kickoff for the Black Parent Group not an event for Black students. Now if the black student union told her daughter she was too light or mixed families were not welcome I could see the outrage and tears.

This is an odd situation that probably would not have occured if they school was 20-30% AA. Sounds like the school has done a very poor job of recruiting AA families and most of the diversity is coming from mixed families which makes the AA families feel even less represented when they show up to POC events and most of the room is filled with white parents. It sucks but it's reality. Kudos to the DEI for trying.

Your opinion on white people is why we have such a race divide in this country and school. The parent has a black child. They should be welcome. Any school screaming they are diverse and will not let a parent attend a meeting representing their child is appalling. OP should find a new school.

+1 the school’s DEI Director needs to work on their critical thinking skills if they thought excluding parents of black students was helpful or necessary.

Can we get a hint of which school this is. If this is one of the schools we are considering, I’d like to make note of this situation. What neighborhood is the school in? What letter does it start with?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the group is for parents only then I have no problem with it being only for black parents. If its families and kids are invited, all should be welcomed.

Agreed.

++. It sounds like the planning for the event grew out of a Black parents affinity group wanting to have an event with their (Black) children.

No, they wanted other people’s children to hitch a ride or get dropped off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Seems like the event was for parents of color (which OP is not so she shouldn’t attend) not parents of students of color (which OP is and this is a larger group).

Exactly. If this is a parent event, then NO children need to attend. The kids at this school are old enough to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Anyone black is welcomed to a group for black parents and students so they have a space safe. How hard is that to understand? The crazy poster who wants to go to the media is the exact reason why the DEI director was so adamant that only black parents and students should attend. Crazy poster you gave absolutely no idea what POC have to go through at schools. We need a place to vent, celebrate, to ask each other for advice. How can you not understand that having you there would change the dynamics?

Actually, anyone should be welcome in any group. If it were just a group for white parents, it would be considered racist, so why is it ok for one racial group to self-segregate and not another? It's not ok for any group to be that secretive and exclusive at a school. The school is there for black students so any parent of a black student should be allowed.

This group is signifcantly underrepresented at the school and likely there is ongoing discrimination. They probably wanted to form a parents group almost as a support group. The group would likely help with the school retaining more AA families if they had a way to connect and have their voices heard. I generally have a problem with deviseness etc but the DEI coordinator took a stance that was difficult and necessary. Why make an entire group of parents uncomfortable to please one Karen. (I diapise that term but you are being a Karen) why do you want to attend anyway? It was a kickoff for the Black Parent Group not an event for Black students. Now if the black student union told her daughter she was too light or mixed families were not welcome I could see the outrage and tears.

This is an odd situation that probably would not have occured if they school was 20-30% AA. Sounds like the school has done a very poor job of recruiting AA families and most of the diversity is coming from mixed families which makes the AA families feel even less represented when they show up to POC events and most of the room is filled with white parents. It sucks but it's reality. Kudos to the DEI for trying.

Why do I want to attend? Because I want a forum to discuss how my child experiences the school as a black student. A PTA meeting isn’t the appropriate forum to talk about why there is only 1 other kid in the grade that looks like mine and that isn’t ok. I want an appropriate forum to discuss the fact that black and brown girls start their period at the average age of 9, yet most schools don’t discuss puberty until kids are 12 or 13. Because I want to get to know other parents of black children. I don’t negate the need for a support group for parents that are black that need to process their experience. But where do I process my black child’s experience at the school? Sorry, but a POC group with a bunch of Asian parents ain’t it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Anyone black is welcomed to a group for black parents and students so they have a space safe. How hard is that to understand? The crazy poster who wants to go to the media is the exact reason why the DEI director was so adamant that only black parents and students should attend. Crazy poster you gave absolutely no idea what POC have to go through at schools. We need a place to vent, celebrate, to ask each other for advice. How can you not understand that having you there would change the dynamics?

Actually, anyone should be welcome in any group. If it were just a group for white parents, it would be considered racist, so why is it ok for one racial group to self-segregate and not another? It's not ok for any group to be that secretive and exclusive at a school. The school is there for black students so any parent of a black student should be allowed.

This group is signifcantly underrepresented at the school and likely there is ongoing discrimination. They probably wanted to form a parents group almost as a support group. The group would likely help with the school retaining more AA families if they had a way to connect and have their voices heard. I generally have a problem with deviseness etc but the DEI coordinator took a stance that was difficult and necessary. Why make an entire group of parents uncomfortable to please one Karen. (I diapise that term but you are being a Karen) why do you want to attend anyway? It was a kickoff for the Black Parent Group not an event for Black students. Now if the black student union told her daughter she was too light or mixed families were not welcome I could see the outrage and tears.

This is an odd situation that probably would not have occured if they school was 20-30% AA. Sounds like the school has done a very poor job of recruiting AA families and most of the diversity is coming from mixed families which makes the AA families feel even less represented when they show up to POC events and most of the room is filled with white parents. It sucks but it's reality. Kudos to the DEI for trying.

Why do I want to attend? Because I want a forum to discuss how my child experiences the school as a black student. A PTA meeting isn’t the appropriate forum to talk about why there is only 1 other kid in the grade that looks like mine and that isn’t ok. I want an appropriate forum to discuss the fact that black and brown girls start their period at the average age of 9, yet most schools don’t discuss puberty until kids are 12 or 13. Because I want to get to know other parents of black children. I don’t negate the need for a support group for parents that are black that need to process their experience. But where do I process my black child’s experience at the school? Sorry, but a POC group with a bunch of Asian parents ain’t it.

I would want to attend because we are a family! For a school to divide up a family is just sad

[Anonymous]

I just can't respect how there are only 1-2 blackish girls your daughters grade in private school in the dmv. They would have to pay me to send my daughter there and kiss my butt. Maybe you should just pull your kid out if this situation upsets you this much.

[jsteele]

This thread has probably fulfilled its mission and can now enjoy a comfortable retirement.