Parents of Color, How diverse is your school? Is it going well for your child socially and academic

[Anonymous]

Name the school! If you want it publicized …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I mean *POC

No, you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I mean *POC

No, you don’t.

I'm the poster. What? The post asked POC parents. I accidentally said, the post asked for the opinios of Black parents. I corrected myself. The post asked for the opinions of POC parents. In any event. No one asked for the opinion of White parents to black or POC children. They asked for the opinion of POC parents.

The thread is full of White Parents centering themselves and giving their very uninformed opinions about situations and scenarios that are very foreign from them. There is no amount of "I have a black friend" or "I once dated a Black guy" that will give a non-POC person any authentic perspective that warrants commentary.

They simply do not have the authority to even comment, tbh. No one asked yall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will this make people believe that this really happened? Excerpt from the reminder email from the DEI coordinator. Everything bolded was also italicized. I made sure to reply to the first email the director sent with this “clarification” to specifically ask “Are you saying that I can’t attend this event because I am white, even though I have a black child?” DEI director quickly replied with “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying”.

Clarification: This event emerged from the desire of our Black student affinity groups to have events like this. This is also going to be used as a kick off for the Black parent affinity group which Black parents have advocated for a few months. Therefore this event is for Black students and [u]Black parents[/u]. I understand there is diversity amongst families of our Black students and I want to honor the desires of those who advocated for this space. Please refer to my letter to the community that was sent to everyone on Tuesday, November 1, 2022 for more information on affinity groups.

Please note, we hope to have a larger group called, Parents of Students of Color which will include all people. We hope that group will meet once a trimester while smaller affinity groups, like the Black parent affinity space, will meet every month (the smaller affinity groups will come together for the Parents of Students of Color meeting so they are not only meeting in silos). However, this group cannot run without parents volunteering to lead it. Therefore, if you're interested in stepping into a leadership role for Parents of Students of Color, please let me know! These groups are all parent-led.

This event I was extraordinarily misguided in excluding parents of black children. We are also at this school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I mean *POC

No, you don’t.

I'm the poster. What? The post asked POC parents. I accidentally said, the post asked for the opinios of Black parents. I corrected myself. The post asked for the opinions of POC parents. In any event. No one asked for the opinion of White parents to black or POC children. They asked for the opinion of POC parents.

The thread is full of White Parents centering themselves and giving their very uninformed opinions about situations and scenarios that are very foreign from them. There is no amount of "I have a black friend" or "I once dated a Black guy" that will give a non-POC person any authentic perspective that warrants commentary.

They simply do not have the authority to even comment, tbh. No one asked yall.

Your posts are full of “non-Black parents,” not POC parents. So no. Why are you assuming everyone you disagree with is White?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White parrot if a black daughter. She is only has 1 other black girl in her grade. She is doing well academically but is disappointed socially. Seems like most of the grade lives near each other in Chevy Chase. School is in DC and we live further north in MoCo.

Some black parents have not welcomed our family into the school community and specifically uninvited me from an event that was initially advertise for black students and their parents. DEI coordinator is inexperienced and overworked. It’s sad because the community could be really great. It’s a school that was founded to bring different kinds of students together.

So was your daughter invited and not you? This seems like it could be distressing to children in multi-racial families.

yeah. It would seem so, but you need to read up on "safe spaces". people really do not feel free to be open and speak of shared lived experiences while in presences of people without said experiences.

they know that 'gaslighting", discounting and ridicule of genuine experiences and concerns happen in "mixed company". it can make people feel less free and open to share.

think of how different it is for girls sometimes to shine in mixed gender classes while being more open in all girls. It's like that kinda.

wanted to add. the purpose is not to exclude or make those not invited feel bad. it's about the majority and their mental health and feelings.

I would hope those excluded would empathize and understand that history of being burned by people outside their community has been the result of thngs like "safe spaces" --- if everyone were nice and fair, these things wouldn't need to exist.

The problem, of course, with the situation as PP describes it, is that the school is (was?) creating a situation where a child is told they can attend an event only if they exclude their own parent just because their parent is not of a particular race. What kind of tension do you think that creates in that child’s mind? In that family?

My child cried when I told them I was uninvited. They said they wanted me to be there since it was advertised initially as an event for black students and their parents.

Was this elementary school? And way to go to guilttrip your child and re-center yourself in an experience for your child? I mean would you whine and throw a pity party about not being able to go to a father/daughter dance with your daughter or a father/son fishing/hunting excursion with your son?

Wow, poster. You are riled up. It sounds like the mom has a valid point. She adopted a black kid and thoughts she’d be included in black family discussion. I have a mixed race kid with one of us being black and the other non black, and I’m wondering if our reception at one of these events will be just as chilly.

This is perfectly plausible to me. People have the sense not to be too public about it, but there is ongoing drama at our school about Families of Color events. The majority (30% of student population) of students of color at our school are mixed race. Families of color who are not mixed represent 10% of the student population, A small but vocal minority of Families of Color got upset and said that the white parents of these students should not be allowed at Families of Color gatherings because they would no longer be a safe space for Families of Color. All of us mixed families were told through the grapevine about the unstated expectation of who “should” be at the Families of Color gathering. Most families didn’t attend and the rest sent the parent of color but not the other parent. I think both sides are sort of right but it ended up being divisive and it was fortunate that it was during soccer season so everyone could just pretend they were at kids’ soccer games and too busy to attend.

I am half black and half white with a black spouse. I don’t clearly look like a black woman to many (think Megan Markle). I wonder how these families would view our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will this make people believe that this really happened? Excerpt from the reminder email from the DEI coordinator. Everything bolded was also italicized. I made sure to reply to the first email the director sent with this “clarification” to specifically ask “Are you saying that I can’t attend this event because I am white, even though I have a black child?” DEI director quickly replied with “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying”.

Clarification: This event emerged from the desire of our Black student affinity groups to have events like this. This is also going to be used as a kick off for the Black parent affinity group which Black parents have advocated for a few months. Therefore this event is for Black students and [u]Black parents[/u]. I understand there is diversity amongst families of our Black students and I want to honor the desires of those who advocated for this space. Please refer to my letter to the community that was sent to everyone on Tuesday, November 1, 2022 for more information on affinity groups.

Please note, we hope to have a larger group called, Parents of Students of Color which will include all people. We hope that group will meet once a trimester while smaller affinity groups, like the Black parent affinity space, will meet every month (the smaller affinity groups will come together for the Parents of Students of Color meeting so they are not only meeting in silos). However, this group cannot run without parents volunteering to lead it. Therefore, if you're interested in stepping into a leadership role for Parents of Students of Color, please let me know! These groups are all parent-led.

You have made a topic directed towards parents of color all about you. You have made several posts on this forum all about you. Can you really be surprised that black parents might not feel that a space is safe with you there? You are the reason these spaces need to exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I mean *POC

No, you don’t.

I'm the poster. What? The post asked POC parents. I accidentally said, the post asked for the opinios of Black parents. I corrected myself. The post asked for the opinions of POC parents. In any event. No one asked for the opinion of White parents to black or POC children. They asked for the opinion of POC parents.

The thread is full of White Parents centering themselves and giving their very uninformed opinions about situations and scenarios that are very foreign from them. There is no amount of "I have a black friend" or "I once dated a Black guy" that will give a non-POC person any authentic perspective that warrants commentary.

They simply do not have the authority to even comment, tbh. No one asked yall.

The fact that this poster keeps posting about not being invited in cookout for black parents just drills home the reasons why she had to be specifically uninvited to give black parents space. Why would you want to attend it? If they had a group for gay parents and I am straight but my son is bisexual why would I attend? It is for gay parents not parents of gay children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

I heard that blacks, particularly black women, also discriminate based on skin color. Sororities will have light skinned black women and not dark skinned black women, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am half black and half white with a black spouse. I don’t clearly look like a black woman to many (think Megan Markle). I wonder how these families would view our family.

I don't follow celebrity news, and was very surprised when watching Suits that her father was played by a black guy, Bunk Moreland.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd leave this school. Your child isn't going to fit in anywhere and its sending the wrong message if a parent isn't welcome or included based on their skin color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean by the time the non-Black poster and their partner/spouse managed to pro-create, the poster should have BEEN realized there is a DISTINCT difference in the experiences of unamibiously BLACK people and mixed race and racially ambiguious people. There should have been many opportunities for poster to have learned ....ergo, the post is a troll post

Also, so many non-Black parents have butted in and centered themselves smack dab in the middle of a thread addressing BLACK parents.

I am not a troll. And shame on you for dismissing my point of view. I am the black parent, and I find attitudes like this rather insulting. I guess I did not know this sort of distinction and treatment existed among black parents. Wow. Now I know.

It doesn’t and if your kid is Black. I don’t know know of any current school organization for Blacks that will keep them out. Black people come in all shades and look like people of every other race. We don’t tell them they aren’t Black just because they can pass as something else nor do we bar any parent of a Black child because they happen to be non-Black. That is why I also agree that this situation was raised by a troll.

I’m the OP and this is a REAL situation. I get the feeling that it was black parents on the board that wanted the event to exclude non-black parents which is why the HOS and DEI coordinator stood their ground and didn’t change it back to be inclusive. I shared in this forum because I don’t know what to do going forward. The school refused to change the event to include all parents of black children. My child has to at least finish the school year so I don’t want to burn any bridges. But at the same time I want to shout from the rooftops and contact every media organization. One friend suggested I contact Soledad O’Brien. Another said to call in to Julie’s Pod (Julie Lythcott-Haims). That’s what I asked about a lawyer in my earlier posts. Wouldn’t a lawyer understand how to file some kind of grievance without it negatively affecting family? At least I would be able to share all of the email communication.

NP: I very rarely get upset by a post on here, but this one does it for me. OP, you are ridiculous. There is no diplomatic delivery of that truth; you are ridiculous. Self-centered, manipulative, and ridiculous to think you need to call "every media outlet" and hire an attorney to force your way into a venue aimed at parents of color with children of color. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED to participate in those events where parents of color with children of color intend to share experiences, grievances, strategies, and advice on navigating these challenging spaces that exist within private schools. I am certain there are/will be plenty of school events in which families of all composition are welcomed. If this isn't one of them, oh well!!! YOUR experience and perspective are not the same as parents of color with children of color. And based on your incessant manipulative behavior, it is no wonder you aren't invited. You are the proverbial 'Karen on the loose' consumed with entitlement.

You are so entitled you call yourself OP on a thread that is not yours. A post directed for parents of color. Just like the Black Parent Group was for Black Parents. I am just not getting how you still don't see this or doubt that you are real. I think this situation likely occurred and the post with the diversity officer explaining makes since. I just do not understand you. I am white with mixed kids black/white and know that my partner has different experiences as a black parent than I do as a white parent even though we share the same child.
We can go places with the same kid separately and be treated totally different. This is why the group existed so black parents could talk about situations unique to them and ones we do not understand.

They also probably also need space to talk about wacky parents like you. I was in disbelief when I read your first post about how upset you were or your spouse. It's been over a week and you are still going. You need a reality check. Are you and your spouse American? I could see if you were a mixed couple from Canada or a different country not understanding US race relations. If that is the case, I could halfway understand but you still need to learn.

So, OP child who is considered black isn't welcome.. and you don't see something wrong with that?

Anyone black is welcomed to a group for black parents and students so they have a space safe. How hard is that to understand? The crazy poster who wants to go to the media is the exact reason why the DEI director was so adamant that only black parents and students should attend. Crazy poster you gave absolutely no idea what POC have to go through at schools. We need a place to vent, to celebrate, to ask each other for advice. How can you not understand that having you there would change the dynamics.