Why are older men attracted to very young women when they are older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think older men who are chronically attracted to younger women (19-23ish, not so much the 25+ females) tend to have not ever developed an ability to relate and have genuine friendship or partnership with the opposite sex that isn’t in a dynamic where one is agreeing or submitting to the other side.

I think most people can all around agree that females in their youth have many attractive aspects, but this is very different then wanting to fornicate and spend all of one’s free time with someone who is the same age as your own daughter or grand-daughter.

I also this the 25 age is a big one for females. [b]The frontal cortex in women literally doesn’t fully develop until around 25, so dating younger than that you are dating someone who still fits the bill for child development despite legally being an adult. I think mid 20’s is also big identity milestone for women. 23 versus 26 is much bigger difference than 18 versus 21 in terms of overall growth.[/b]

Good point. Women shouldn't be allowed to drive, vote, join the military, or have bank accounts until they are over 25. Because they are still children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Younger women are prettier, have better bodies, and most important, they have better personalities. I'm a 56 year old man dating a 27 year old.

In this scenario (almost 30 year age difference) the young woman is often (not always, but often) using the older man for what she can get. I had a friend who was very open about the fact that she didn't want to live through the "lean years" where she could not afford the house, vehicle and lifestyle that she wanted. She married a much older man, stayed with him for 10 years and then left with everything she could.

She was less open (shared with a close circle of our female friends) about how easy it was to "land" and older man. She would openly flirt with him (something his ex-wife had stopped doing a few years into their marriage), flatter him and praise him in front of his male friends. Basically she played him like a fiddle. Was it manipulation? Sure, but he was old enough to make his own choices.

My young lady didn't pursue me, I pursued her. And she is inexpensive. Last year I was dating a woman near my age, and I got stuck paying for meals any time we were together, plus an expensive vacation and gifts. My 27-year-old PhD candidate likes to cook at home and enjoys camping.

As a pure cost-benefit analysis, younger women win.

[Anonymous]

In this scenario (almost 30 year age difference) the young woman is often (not always, but often) using the older man for what she can get. I had a friend who was very open about the fact that she didn't want to live through the "lean years" where she could not afford the house, vehicle and lifestyle that she wanted. She married a much older man, stayed with him for 10 years and then left with everything she could.

She was less open (shared with a close circle of our female friends) about how easy it was to "land" and older man. She would openly flirt with him (something his ex-wife had stopped doing a few years into their marriage), flatter him and praise him in front of his male friends. Basically she played him like a fiddle. Was it manipulation? Sure, but he was old enough to make his own choices.

Women old or young use men for entertainment and as an AMT. It is beyond hypocritical for an older woman to post something about a younger woman “using” men. Men know woman use men.

[Anonymous]

The orgasm is better -42 year old man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In this scenario (almost 30 year age difference) the young woman is often (not always, but often) using the older man for what she can get. I had a friend who was very open about the fact that she didn't want to live through the "lean years" where she could not afford the house, vehicle and lifestyle that she wanted. She married a much older man, stayed with him for 10 years and then left with everything she could.

She was less open (shared with a close circle of our female friends) about how easy it was to "land" and older man. She would openly flirt with him (something his ex-wife had stopped doing a few years into their marriage), flatter him and praise him in front of his male friends. Basically she played him like a fiddle. Was it manipulation? Sure, but he was old enough to make his own choices.

Women old or young use men for entertainment and as an AMT. It is beyond hypocritical for an older woman to post something about a younger woman “using” men. Men know woman use men.

Says you. Many women don’t use men. They bring a lot to the table and genuinely enjoy male company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

I'm a bit different, when I was a kid I was always most attracted to girls few years older. When I was 11 I liked the 13-14 year old girls, when I was 15 I really liked 18-20 year old women. I was always kind of grossed out by girls even 1 grade below me during my school years. Then once I hit adulthood I began becoming attracted to younger women, and I am still very attracted to women in the 18-25 range as a guy in his early 30's.

Same here and it doesn't change as you get older. Women ages 18-25 are peak attractive. It just is. Of course, there is more to being attractive than physical appearance.

Some women. I looked like a complete child from 18 to 25. My peak attractiveness level was about age 27 to 34; and I’m only stopping at 34 because I got pregnant…otherwise I would say 27-37.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men of all ages prefer young women because they're more fertile. That's how human beings are wired. We're animals, remember?

I beg to differ. I’m 51, good shape, good job, no drugs or alcohol. I always have and still prefer women my age +10 years. When I was 29, I dated a women 44. We were together for about 5 years.

Yours is a fetish. Not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband says he is more attracted to women his age and older (and no he is not humoring me we are pretty open about these things). He says it feels weird to check out women who are so much younger.

Mine won't say this out loud, but both his previous dating history and current porn searches I've found support this.

Keep telling yourselves this is it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power.

Genuinely curious here - would you consider marrying a woman 20 years younger than you and maybe even in their early 20’s (depending on your age. Not sure if this is younger than the 20 yr diff you site). Why or why not? [/quote

Very unlikely.

I really wanted to marry a woman my exact age (early 40s) that I dated a few years back. We both had children that were similar ages and I could picture a future together.

Getting dumped gutted me for a long time. When I was finally ready to have a relationship again, she was also close to my age (five years younger). Attractive, extremely successful career and former college athlete. But my heart was never in it because she didn’t measure up to my previous relationship in my own messed up psyche.

I had dated much younger before and that experience was my wake up call to just go back to fun relationships with minimal expectations. When a 45yo dates a woman in her 20s it’s not going to last more than one to three months and she’s going to be the one who ends it. Each time does make it a little easier to get the relationship started and a little easier to move on when it ends.

Despite my outward confidence, I know that there’s a shelf life for how much longer I can pull this off. I am in shape and have a high profile career so that helps, but at some point sooner than later I’ll be too old. Not sure what I’ll do then.

PP here. Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry about the heartache and do hope you find a long-lasting and well suited partner soon (if that is what you would like).

I asked as I have a male female member nearing middle age and has said he is obsessed with finding a wife for about 10 years now, but all this time his gf’s keep getting younger until now he has hit 20. I have not paid it too much mind except he brought recent 20 year old on a group vacation and it was a little startling. He kept going on and on about her being good life companion but I can’t help but feel he is somewhat out of touch with himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged guy here. When I first became attracted to women, I found women my age attractive. So at 13 I thought 13 year olds were attractive. By the time I was 16, I thought 13 was too young. When I was 20, I thought 16 year olds were too young and not attractive. This continued until about age 23/24. 23 & 24 year olds continued to look attractive even as I aged and even today.

I wouldn't want to try to date someone that age now, but in terms of sexual attraction it is definitely there.

Thank you! This makes perfect sense. Attraction continues, as is totally natural and should. Just like in a committed relationship you still will find other humans attractive.

But being 50 and sleeping with a 20 year old is very different than being 50 and finding a 20 year old attractive.

I absolutely believe that even with a huge age difference a lovely and healthy relationship is possible, AND I also think the reality is that a large share of these types of relationships are not in this category, but reflect some type of emotional or power imbalance and in the long run is dysfunctional.

Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power.

Genuinely curious here - would you consider marrying a woman 20 years younger than you and maybe even in their early 20’s (depending on your age. Not sure if this is younger than the 20 yr diff you site). Why or why not? [/quote

Very unlikely.

I really wanted to marry a woman my exact age (early 40s) that I dated a few years back. We both had children that were similar ages and I could picture a future together.

Getting dumped gutted me for a long time. When I was finally ready to have a relationship again, she was also close to my age (five years younger). Attractive, extremely successful career and former college athlete. But my heart was never in it because she didn’t measure up to my previous relationship in my own messed up psyche.

I had dated much younger before and that experience was my wake up call to just go back to fun relationships with minimal expectations. When a 45yo dates a woman in her 20s it’s not going to last more than one to three months and she’s going to be the one who ends it. Each time does make it a little easier to get the relationship started and a little easier to move on when it ends.

Despite my outward confidence, I know that there’s a shelf life for how much longer I can pull this off. I am in shape and have a high profile career so that helps, but at some point sooner than later I’ll be too old. Not sure what I’ll do then.

PP here. Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry about the heartache and do hope you find a long-lasting and well suited partner soon (if that is what you would like).

I asked as I have a male female member nearing middle age and has said he is obsessed with finding a wife for about 10 years now, but all this time his gf’s keep getting younger until now he has hit 20. I have not paid it too much mind except he brought recent 20 year old on a group vacation and it was a little startling. He kept going on and on about her being good life companion but I can’t help but feel he is somewhat out of touch with himself.

Make family* member! Oops!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real estate.

Younger women in expensive cities can't afford the lifestyles they want, so they date older men.

Only 1% of the population marries with more than a 20 year age difference.

The majority of people marry with a two to three year age difference.

Anything more than 5 years, is doomed to fail.

I can understand better why women would want to date younger men, better in bed and no erectile dysfunction.

I don’t believe these statistics. Anything more than 5 years is doomed to fail? I mean look at Eastern Europe and Latin America. Most relationships are more than a 5 year age gap. I know plenty of people with 15-18 year age gaps. Small group but not 1%.

Also the assumption here is the younger person is so hot and the older person is old and fat when in reality it’s in between.

Pew Research Stats: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/01/03/globally-women-are-younger-than-their-male-partners-more-likely-to-age-alone/

Here is a look at these patterns in more detail:

Across religions and regions, women are younger than their male partners
Muslims have the widest spousal age gap (6.6 years between men and their wives or partners), followed by Hindus (5.6 years), Christians (3.8), Buddhists (2.9), the religiously unaffiliated (2.3) and Jews (2.1).

[Anonymous]

"Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power."

How did the women 20 years younger than you have all the power?

How?

The power to get you to spend your money on them is not the same as them having their own money.

[Anonymous]

You know what shuts people up when they call you fetish or abnormal or there is -say "Okay bring someone better to the next gettogether". You'll meet the bottom of the barrel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Since my divorce I've dated women my age and women up to 20 years younger. Any power imbalance is in the May-December romances and the women have all the power."

How did the women 20 years younger than you have all the power?

How?

The power to get you to spend your money on them is not the same as them having their own money.

The power to trade up. The power to leave when they get bored.

FWIW, all I do is pay for nice dates, same as when I date a woman my own age. The money spent is never that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The orgasm is better -42 year old man

Yes, I dare say yours is better, that she is likely faking hers is evidently of no concern.