08 Girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I’m reading these posts and as one PP said, no DG defender has said that DG is not a yeller or not publicly humiliates 12 year old girls. I now don’t want my DD to tryout for his team.

I spent years teaching and grooming my DD to be a not to tolerate that type of behavior from anyone. I also teach her to be brave and not worry/fear of making mistakes. If we join the team, I don’t know tell her that I will be paying a coach to scream, yell and publicly humiliate her if she ever makes a mistake.

I have never seen him publicly humiliate anyone on my girls team and have watched many practices. Yes he shouts during a game - good and bad stuff. I would suggest you go to games and practices and decide for yourself. Also talk to parents and look them direct in the eye and ask the questions rather than anonymous posters who have axes to grind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I’m reading these posts and as one PP said, no DG defender has said that DG is not a yeller or not publicly humiliates 12 year old girls. I now don’t want my DD to tryout for his team.

I spent years teaching and grooming my DD to be a not to tolerate that type of behavior from anyone. I also teach her to be brave and not worry/fear of making mistakes. If we join the team, I don’t know tell her that I will be paying a coach to scream, yell and publicly humiliate her if she ever makes a mistake.

I have never seen him publicly humiliate anyone on my girls team and have watched many practices. Yes he shouts during a game - good and bad stuff. I would suggest you go to games and practices and decide for yourself. Also talk to parents and look them direct in the eye and ask the questions rather than anonymous posters who have axes to grind.

To clarify he shouts when good things are done and when something has to be done differently. I would like to see an ECNL coach that doesn’t correct. . It’s not too humiliate. But go to a game and confirm for yourself if you are so sure of your judgement.

[Anonymous]

I have never posted here but feel the need to interject publicly. The attacks against DG and his character are absolutely disgraceful, particularly coming from anyone who doesn’t know him and/or has never had a child play soccer on one of his teams. DG cares more about his players and teams than any other coach I have ever known. It is because of his passion and commitment to his players and teams as well as his decades long experience coaching that he is able to get the most out of his players and why many of his current and former players consistently say he’s the best coach they’ve ever had. Can he be intense? Absolutely. Does he yell at times? Absolutely. Does that make him a “terrible person” or bad role model for youth players? Absolutely not. If your child has self esteem issues and isn’t capable of receiving criticism from a coach at an elevated tone, then I would suggest sticking with rec soccer and working on those self esteem issues at home. However, if your child has good self esteem, is passionate about soccer and developing as a player, then DG is as good a coach as they come!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never posted here but feel the need to interject publicly. The attacks against DG and his character are absolutely disgraceful, particularly coming from anyone who doesn’t know him and/or has never had a child play soccer on one of his teams. DG cares more about his players and teams than any other coach I have ever known. It is because of his passion and commitment to his players and teams as well as his decades long experience coaching that he is able to get the most out of his players and why many of his current and former players consistently say he’s the best coach they’ve ever had. Can he be intense? Absolutely. Does he yell at times? Absolutely. Does that make him a “terrible person” or bad role model for youth players? Absolutely not. If your child has self esteem issues and isn’t capable of receiving criticism from a coach at an elevated tone, then I would suggest sticking with rec soccer and working on those self esteem issues at home. However, if your child has good self esteem, is passionate about soccer and developing as a player, then DG is as good a coach as they come!

Again, defending yelling at 12 year olds but attacking a grown man who yells at 12 year olds is disgraceful.

Yet, nobody has denied his sideline antics.

It would be one thing if his defenders say, “he absolutely doesn’t scream at kids”, but nobody denies it yet defends it instead.

[Anonymous]

💯 agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:💯 agree.

Meaning - 💯 agree that he is the best coach we’ve had and absolutely loves his players.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:💯 agree.

Meaning - 💯 agree that he is the best coach we’ve had and absolutely loves his players.

People love their abuser. He loves his control and he loves that he isn’t challenged.

Challenge him once and see how it goes. Challenge him once and see how he treats your kid afterwords.

Challenge him once and see how he respects your opinion.

You’re all scared parents who like the results and overlook his process. He relies on your gullibility and insecurities, but sure he is the best coach because he has told you he is the best coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with other posters - go to practices and games for any of the top teams in the area and make your decisions. There have been other threads on BSC Coaches so worth reading, but take anything with a grain of salt. When I read these threads, I assume that for any club. And know that every team, the kids, the parent dynamics, coach dynamics can vary year to year. One thing that was mentioned in other threads by seemingly different people (though one never knows), was that DG is a different type of coach this year to his teams. There seems to be a backstory to that.

We have a DD that plays for DG and given the reputation, I was on very high alert trying to observe closely. But, I also knew adults who played for him and he had a big impact on their life (beyond soccer). I knew parents of kids - who were not star players - who talked about him years later in a positive fashion. So while on alert, kept an open mind. Maybe its the kinder and gentler DG (as been alluded by others), but its been a very good experience without real drama. I can see that he is invested closely in the team and really understands my kid - not just how they play on the field, but what works for them. She is a strong player that works hard, but she can be very hard on herself. He has worked on this with her, one on one and I see a happier kid - who is more confident all around, not just soccer. For his teams, he has does extra practices, tried to find extra games when things keep getting cancelled. I would also say, while he is concise/minimal in words, he has been empathetic - when things outside their control have been unfair. (Common right now to kids in covid). In covid times, he has been a consistent for the kids . I haven't seen any drama - no roller coasters around practices, none of that stuff and I have seen a lot in this with other coaches. Is he perfect in everything he says - no. Does he take time to explain afterwards, yes - a lot. Does he expect a lot - yes. Is he clear in expectations - yes. If your kid isn't willing to put in extra time /work for ECNL level, is it something to try lightly - likely not - which is fine.

Knowing a lot of coaches in travel / MS / HS, on the spectrum of coaches, the "current" DG is far on the better side of dealing with kids. I have also seen the "nice" coaches, be super cruel. Of the "positive coaching" marketing, be anything but.

What is evident is that he works for a particular style of player. Lots of coaches are that way. However, the best coaches can coach and teach to all personality styles of players. For every, "he was great for my kid" comment he also has lost a a talented player because of his methods.

Time away usually softens memories but I would say that those players are probably closer to Stockholm Syndrome than truly admiring him.

What I have witnessed him do there is no place for it in a professional work environment and certainly not with kids. We tend to think that sports require humiliation to evoke the most out of players and we let coaches say and do things to our kids that we would NEVER accept as adults or even of teachers.

He is at Bethesda because he gets results in the Win Loss column and sadly, that is all parents care about. They will suffer the fool and let him scream at their kid simply because of wins and other clubs are to inconvenient to join.

I'ver rarely seen someone so out of touch with perspective as DG.

I guess I can say the same for you - quite out of touch with perspective. My child plays for his ECNL team at BSC so I know first hand that DG is a wonderful, talented, AND extremely compassionate coach. He doesn’t suffer foolish behavior or laziness. He sets expectations high and wants follow through. Does he yell at games? Sure does during the game. Afterwards, he is very specific about errors that were made and takes great effort to correct those errors during practice. Once your kid knows him and his style, s/he will realize it’s not personal and they are expected to work when playing for him. He wants nothing less. I am soo happy that I no longer have to coach my kid, I can leave it to him. As with work places and social circles, it may not be your cup of tea - but don’t disparage someone’s character because of a coaching style you don’t prefer. He is actually a very, very nice person and cares greatly for each of his players as evidenced by the number of players that he coached at a young age that bring their kids to play for him.

It is never professional. Sorry that you are to scared of your DDs position on the team to demand professionalism from your coach. But what is really sad is that your DD now believes that her coaches behavior is both acceptable and should be expected.

Imagine the low self esteem one must have to make a living yelling at 12 year old girls and the self esteem of the parents to let him get away with it for so long.

Excuses, excuses. You can create an excuse for just about anything in life. Actually - not scared at all because my kid puts in the work - oh and has been offered spots on other ECNL teams in the area. She likes DG so that’s why we stay. What I’m hearing is your kid must have gotten cut from DG team. If not, you seem to have some really strong opinions about a coach your kid has never played for? That’s very strange. You don’t like him or his style then don’t play for him. It’s that simple. Re: self esteem - my kid has a very high self esteem and knows a coach doesn’t define her. I’m sorry that you haven’t taught your DD that there will be challenges in life and how to deal with them. Challenging situations- like a strong coach - really sets them up for success. Again- if your kid puts in the work, you won’t have ANY issues with DG. It’s not that hard to understand.

I’m not the one making excuses, you are. You have EXCUSED his yelling at 12 year old girls. You haven’t denied it, you have excused it. I am not excusing his horrible behavior and treatment of kids.

[Anonymous]

Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

Yes, both are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

As far as press goes, so be it. People who like that style will go and people who don’t will know enough to stay away. You simply make your player pool smaller and less diverse because a coach is incapable of communicating to a broader style of player and child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

Why are you talking about gender biases when the issue is a fully grown adult male verbally abusing a 12 year old? A 12 year old is not even a teenager yet. It doesn’t matter if this man is yelling and abusing a girl or boy. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

Oh BSC had a woman coach who did the same to u11 girls. It’s a club pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you DG detractors be saying the same thing if this were a boys team? Sure, there’s a visceral reaction when you say “Older man screaming and belittling 12 year old little girls”, but would you have the same reaction if it were 12 year old boys? I don’t think so. Those of you so carelessly throwing around phrases like “abuser” and “Stockholm Syndrome” need to check your implicit gender biases, as well as your knowledge of what the cycle of abuse really means. If we want to achieve true gender equity in soccer and in the workplace, we need to stop having different standards and expectations for our “precious little girls” than we do for our “rough and tumble big boys”.

And, by the way, remember— there’s no such thing as bad press. All you haters are driving more and more attention to the Bethesda girls side. Thanks!

Oh BSC had a woman coach who did the same to u11 girls. It’s a club pattern.

Clubs are interested in results and parents are scared to challenge coaches who get results.

It is a cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with other posters - go to practices and games for any of the top teams in the area and make your decisions. There have been other threads on BSC Coaches so worth reading, but take anything with a grain of salt. When I read these threads, I assume that for any club. And know that every team, the kids, the parent dynamics, coach dynamics can vary year to year. One thing that was mentioned in other threads by seemingly different people (though one never knows), was that DG is a different type of coach this year to his teams. There seems to be a backstory to that.

We have a DD that plays for DG and given the reputation, I was on very high alert trying to observe closely. But, I also knew adults who played for him and he had a big impact on their life (beyond soccer). I knew parents of kids - who were not star players - who talked about him years later in a positive fashion. So while on alert, kept an open mind. Maybe its the kinder and gentler DG (as been alluded by others), but its been a very good experience without real drama. I can see that he is invested closely in the team and really understands my kid - not just how they play on the field, but what works for them. She is a strong player that works hard, but she can be very hard on herself. He has worked on this with her, one on one and I see a happier kid - who is more confident all around, not just soccer. For his teams, he has does extra practices, tried to find extra games when things keep getting cancelled. I would also say, while he is concise/minimal in words, he has been empathetic - when things outside their control have been unfair. (Common right now to kids in covid). In covid times, he has been a consistent for the kids . I haven't seen any drama - no roller coasters around practices, none of that stuff and I have seen a lot in this with other coaches. Is he perfect in everything he says - no. Does he take time to explain afterwards, yes - a lot. Does he expect a lot - yes. Is he clear in expectations - yes. If your kid isn't willing to put in extra time /work for ECNL level, is it something to try lightly - likely not - which is fine.

Knowing a lot of coaches in travel / MS / HS, on the spectrum of coaches, the "current" DG is far on the better side of dealing with kids. I have also seen the "nice" coaches, be super cruel. Of the "positive coaching" marketing, be anything but.

What is evident is that he works for a particular style of player. Lots of coaches are that way. However, the best coaches can coach and teach to all personality styles of players. For every, "he was great for my kid" comment he also has lost a a talented player because of his methods.

Time away usually softens memories but I would say that those players are probably closer to Stockholm Syndrome than truly admiring him.

What I have witnessed him do there is no place for it in a professional work environment and certainly not with kids. We tend to think that sports require humiliation to evoke the most out of players and we let coaches say and do things to our kids that we would NEVER accept as adults or even of teachers.

He is at Bethesda because he gets results in the Win Loss column and sadly, that is all parents care about. They will suffer the fool and let him scream at their kid simply because of wins and other clubs are to inconvenient to join.

I'ver rarely seen someone so out of touch with perspective as DG.

I guess I can say the same for you - quite out of touch with perspective. My child plays for his ECNL team at BSC so I know first hand that DG is a wonderful, talented, AND extremely compassionate coach. He doesn’t suffer foolish behavior or laziness. He sets expectations high and wants follow through. Does he yell at games? Sure does during the game. Afterwards, he is very specific about errors that were made and takes great effort to correct those errors during practice. Once your kid knows him and his style, s/he will realize it’s not personal and they are expected to work when playing for him. He wants nothing less. I am soo happy that I no longer have to coach my kid, I can leave it to him. As with work places and social circles, it may not be your cup of tea - but don’t disparage someone’s character because of a coaching style you don’t prefer. He is actually a very, very nice person and cares greatly for each of his players as evidenced by the number of players that he coached at a young age that bring their kids to play for him.

It is never professional. Sorry that you are to scared of your DDs position on the team to demand professionalism from your coach. But what is really sad is that your DD now believes that her coaches behavior is both acceptable and should be expected.

Imagine the low self esteem one must have to make a living yelling at 12 year old girls and the self esteem of the parents to let him get away with it for so long.

Excuses, excuses. You can create an excuse for just about anything in life. Actually - not scared at all because my kid puts in the work - oh and has been offered spots on other ECNL teams in the area. She likes DG so that’s why we stay. What I’m hearing is your kid must have gotten cut from DG team. If not, you seem to have some really strong opinions about a coach your kid has never played for? That’s very strange. You don’t like him or his style then don’t play for him. It’s that simple. Re: self esteem - my kid has a very high self esteem and knows a coach doesn’t define her. I’m sorry that you haven’t taught your DD that there will be challenges in life and how to deal with them. Challenging situations- like a strong coach - really sets them up for success. Again- if your kid puts in the work, you won’t have ANY issues with DG. It’s not that hard to understand.

I’m not the one making excuses, you are. You have EXCUSED his yelling at 12 year old girls. You haven’t denied it, you have excused it. I am not excusing his horrible behavior and treatment of kids.

I don’t have to make excuses because he doesn’t scream at kids like you are inferring. Again, for someone has only experienced him during a game and supposedly has no first hand experience of him as a coach, you sure seem to have him all figured out. Or maybe just a hidden axe to grind as a PP very astutely pointed out?