The Golden Bachelor

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Her husbands cheated on her, and broke her heart. Are you saying she somehow deserved that treatment? Because he attributed this to HER.

She says she has never (despite two previous marriages) had someone treat her well, or commit to “until death do us part.” Seems odd for someone who has committed to marriage twice. At very least, her picker is off.

It certainly is, if she had her vows ready for Gerry.

But really, I dislike the idea that if a woman didn’t luck out immediately with relationships, she’s doomed to be rejected forever…because she hasn’t had good relationships. See how it works? So Leslie’s first husband cheats, she’s hurt, the second one deems her a doormat because of that and cheats on her, and on and on. She’s never worthy of being treated well because she wasn’t treated well. Meanwhile Theresa met her husband as a kid and married him and they stayed married till he died. Maybe she’s easier to get along with, maybe she put up with more shit, maybe she was just luckier. It doesn’t make her more worthy of love.

Anyway, I like them both and think both deserve better than Gerry. I hope Theresa has a prenup.

You sound defensive. No one said those with a challenging past deserves a challenging future. And no nice guy would decide to treat someone like a doormat because her last partner did.

All I was saying is that one partner seems riskier, and less relatable for someone with his history. Not less deserving.

I think you are identifying with Leslie. .

+1.

Gerry was just trying to answer the question about what "clicked" for him during overnights. He wasn't trying to shame Leslie, but it IS a comparative process. So he HAD to look at what one person was like vs. what the other person is like, and then decide which one feels more in sync with his own experiences and goals. He was fine with Leslie. But, when HE was with Theresa, it felt like a better match. That's all he was saying. By necessity it was comparative. And I wish he had been more aloof in answering. But, he was being honest about what differences mattered to him.

[Anonymous]

Leslie's pain will pass. She has a lot of life and energy, and she has time. She'll figure it out -- or not, but she will be fine.

Theresa is in her 70s and is stuck with Gerry -- and that's not passing. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leslie's pain will pass. She has a lot of life and energy, and she has time. She'll figure it out -- or not, but she will be fine.

Theresa is in her 70s and is stuck with Gerry -- and that's not passing. Good luck.

Ha, agree.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

The coldness and condescension is on your end. The depth of her pain was not easy to watch. Gerry was the trigger, not the cause. She barely knew him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're selling their homes and moving to Charleston together.
https://people.com/why-gerry-turner-and-theresa-nist-plan-to-move-to-charleston-exclusive-8409520

They don't know each other well enough to make that kind of ginormous move at their ages. I guess it's good that Theresa has family living there, because I suspect she is in for a rude awakening once they actually have to live together. The way his feelings change on a dime?

Good for them! I always said (way way back in this thread) that the logistics piece is the big elephant in the room, and that they should both move to a new location asap so that they start on an equal footing (rather than one person giving up all that they are used to while the other has all the comforts of community that they've known).

Someone in Theresa's family must be Jewish b/c they are celebrating Hannukah together. They both say they are frugal --- so that works well. Again, it's interesting to meet/date people who are different from you, but in the end, it's just so much easier to commit to someone who is more similar to you. You just don't have to debate and work through so many choices b/c you are already on the same page. Good for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

The coldness and condescension is on your end. The depth of her pain was not easy to watch. Gerry was the trigger, not the cause. She barely knew him.

I agree it would behoove her to work through her issues before she attempts another relationship. Even before she hit emotional rock bottom on the show, her jealousy and insecurity seemed so much worse than the other women's. Although imo the show was not a great choice for her emotionally, she has the best social media following other than Gerry and perhaps that can lead to good things for her. Including more financial security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

The coldness and condescension is on your end. The depth of her pain was not easy to watch. Gerry was the trigger, not the cause. She barely knew him.

Yeah, let me call her a "poor thing" a few times and describe her "sobbing" in more lurid detail. Maybe I can slide in a repeat of the "Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it" and lean hard again on her having "so much emotional baggage."

It is soooooo painful for me to watch. Can't you understand how her gross little meltdown on national television has affected me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

The coldness and condescension is on your end. The depth of her pain was not easy to watch. Gerry was the trigger, not the cause. She barely knew him.

Yeah, let me call her a "poor thing" a few times and describe her "sobbing" in more lurid detail. Maybe I can slide in a repeat of the "Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it" and lean hard again on her having "so much emotional baggage."

It is soooooo painful for me to watch. Can't you understand how her gross little meltdown on national television has affected me?

You have issues. NP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

+1

[Anonymous]

1. I think Faith had every reason to be upset and hold Gerry accountable.
2. Faith showed that she is strong enough to do just that. And she didn't give him a pass. But, she did say she understood his reasons for going "all in" with each person.
3. There is a older couple that found love -- whether you think her arms are too thin or his resume is too thin, it doesn't matter, does it? They found a second chance at love and are apparently serious enough that they want to make it legal.
4. Doesn't it serve all of us to focus more on the positive and less on the negative? Why assume the worst of people when it takes the same effort to assume the best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

+1. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

He also said in Theresa he was getting an equal partner. That had to sting for Leslie, but it's true she has a poor romantic track record and also probably has no money. Gerry felt for her and was very attracted to her, but he's not the type who wants to take care of a woman. This is crystal clear from his ex's account. It seems his wife took care of him while being the breadwinner for the family. That's the dynamic he's used to and prefers. Theresa is the party with the bigger bank account, but she's okay with that.

Leslie has so much emotional baggage. That's even more important than the money issue, but I agree that was also very important to Gerry.I hope Leslie gets therapy, poor thing.

Concern troll crawls out from under the bridge.

Sorry Theresa is stuck with this yahoo now, but Leslie will be the one better off without him.

How is that trolling? Her emotional pain was hard to watch. It clearly stemmed from her issues and was not really Gerry-specific. If she gets therapy, maybe she'll have more strength and confidence in herself. Fully agree she's better off without that yahoo!

"poor thing"

You can do better.

Anyone who didn't think "poor thing" while she sobbed about "never being picked" on national tv has a sensitivity chip missing.

So not so much empathy that you wanted to project, but condescension. Yeah, that was obvious.

The coldness and condescension is on your end. The depth of her pain was not easy to watch. Gerry was the trigger, not the cause. She barely knew him.

Yeah, let me call her a "poor thing" a few times and describe her "sobbing" in more lurid detail. Maybe I can slide in a repeat of the "Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it" and lean hard again on her having "so much emotional baggage."

It is soooooo painful for me to watch. Can't you understand how her gross little meltdown on national television has affected me?

You have issues. NP.

You poor thing.

[Anonymous]

Let's go way way back to the beginning:

Gerry CHOSE THERESA for the first date. Unless you think Theresa is capable of casting a spell on him, Gerry was into Theresa from the beginning. And even Faith said that the way Gerry looked at Theresa told her (Faith) that Theresa was the one most liked by Gerry.

So, it's not fair or accurate to cast Theresa as some seductress who tricked Gerry. And Gerry didn't know anything about Theresa's job/finances ALL of that time! So, obviously he had a personal connection with her unrelated to financial savvy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone think Gerry was an even bigger @ss to Leslie tonight? His saying he picked the woman who "knows how to nurture a relationship" seemed like a very mean dig at Leslie. He has a terrible mean streak imo and I completely believe he made that weight comment to his ex.

Someone got mad when I said much earlier in the thread that Leslie’s spotty relationship history was a red flag.

Sorry, but if she has never been in a healthy, longterm relationship, who knows if she is capable if it. If that is what he seeks, Theresa at least knows the drill.

Yes, but he could have talked about their "similar histories and bond" without phrasing it as a direct dig to Leslie. I think it was callous. I get a cold vibe from him, but narcissists are very charming until they're not. The other ladies definitely view him very differently now. They were not happy for this couple, and I believe it's because they now have his number.

I gasped when he said that. "I chose the woman who knows how to nurture a long-term relationship." COME ON. He could simply have said: "I realized the level of trust and understanding between two people who suffered the loss of life-long loves was invaluable." It was framed as Theresa vs. Leslie, and was a low blow. Should Leslie have stayed after infidelity?

+1. This.

I think he knew exactly what he was saying. He was justifying his actions to himself, but he could have been so much kinder. The other women reacted very strongly to his statements, and not in a good way, which was telling given how highly they've spoken of him in the past. The funny thing is he only shot himself in the foot. Maintaining genuine kindness and emotional generosity, even if only a front, would have preserved his image and helped him garner even greater success and lucre.