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Was this a jab (comment from another mom) or am I being sensitive?
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Anonymous
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At a playgroup. I had met a couple of the moms once before, but they knew each other well. I felt sort of excluded from conversation, and I'm usually pretty good at getting in there and I'm friendly enough. It just seemed like I couldn't get a word in, and when I tried, nobody heard me?
I have twin 18 m.o. girls and after about an hour of play, we had to get home. They've been waking up at 4:30 or 5am lately and I can't keep them out too long or there's trouble. I mentioned this as I was thanking the hostess for having us, and another mom said, "Oh so you've had plenty of time for hair and makeup because you've been up for hours!" So...jab at me? Am I not supposed to blow dry my hair and wear eyeliner? Is this in the mom code somewhere? It kind of hurt my feelings. |
Anonymous
| I think you're being sensitive. |
Anonymous
| Unfortunately it sounds as though it was catty to me. Many moms are like 8th graders and can be very passive aggressive and mean to each other. I'd just move on to another playgroup where you'll find nicer friends. |
Anonymous
| i think it was obnoxious. but not necessarily a jab. |
Anonymous
| Weird non-sequitur. |
Anonymous
| She was being bitchy. |
Anonymous
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Even if she wasn't intentionally being bitchy (but it does sound unnecessary and weird, either way) it doesn't sound like a good fit for you. Trying to get a word in and not being able to, etc.
Sounds like you could find a better group of moms. |
Anonymous
| She was knocking you down in order to make herself feel better about her appearance. Passive aggressive and unneccesary. I'm sure she's on DCUM a LOT. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like she was feeling insecure and took a jab at you. Happens all the time.
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Anonymous
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Not the OP, but if the mom talking was being bitchy, what was she being bitchy about? I don't get it. Was she giving a backhanded compliment? "So that's why you look good with hair and makeup done -- you've been up for a long time"?
Or was she being sarcastic: "You should have been able to get more pulled together"? |
Anonymous
| I think she was trying to make a sympathetic joke about getting up so early, not making a jab. |
Anonymous
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I do not understand how this could POSSIBLY be construed as anything but a compliment on your appearance.
As for your faux-bewildered "am I not supposed to...?" line, THAT'S a little bitchy. Sounds like a slam on those who do not have time for hair and makeup. |
Anonymous
I think it's a bizarre comment (unless maybe earlier there was some discussion about how no one had time for hair and makeup). Why would you sympathize with someone about getting up early by referencing hair and makeup? Couldn't you just say something sympathetic about loss of sleep, early mornings, etc.? |
Anonymous
| The only thing I can say is that sometimes when I'm feeling awkward in a new social situation I try to compliment someone (Nice hair and make up!) and respond to what they are saying (They got up really early!) and it comes out kind of garbled. Maybe that's what happened? |
Anonymous
This seems like the nicest, reasonable possibility of what could have happened. |