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Was this a jab (comment from another mom) or am I being sensitive?
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Anonymous
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OP are you dressed up a bit more than the other moms (jeans, cute shirt/shoes vs. sweats and DH's t-shirt)? Are you relatively thin compared to the others? Do you appear to have your act together vs. being a frazzled mom?
If so, then yeah I suspect this was a comment regarding your appearance. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I took it as a backhanded compliment since she wasn't wearing makeup. It was sort of embarrassing, like she was implying that I was trying to hard with my appearance. |
Anonymous
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I agree with 14:30. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I can see myself saying something like this without meaning anything beyond commiseration that it "really sucks to be up so early and I'm amazed that with twins you have time/energy to do your hair and make up because look at me I'm a complete mess and I only have one kid."
But I also agree with 14:24 that if you don't feel like you can join the conversation, the group might not be a good fit. |
Anonymous
| OP again. I'm going to choose to believe it was like 14:38 said. No sense worrying about it too much. I was there for the girls, not to make best friends. I think a better fit is in order though. Thanks. |
Anonymous
| NP. I would have taken it as a compliment. She just didn't know what to say and it came out awkward. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like she was feeling self-conscious about not be and made an excuse for it, even if it came out a little goofy. |
Anonymous
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Stupid touch screen!
....self conscious about not having makeup on/hair done.... |
Anonymous
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Were you "overdone," PP?
Maybe Catty Gal is into Bare Minerals. |
Anonymous
| I think it was a compliment (albeit awkward one)... you looked good because you had "time" to pull yourself together! |
Anonymous
| I think it was a compliment that got a little fumbled, I really don't see it as a jab. in new social situations I too will often use compliments as a way to make small talk, or make self-deprecating remarks and I think (maybe?) that is what she was trying to do. but if the group is not a good fit then move on, just don't ascribe bitchiness or bad intentions right off the bat. |
Anonymous
| I think you're just being sensitive. Sometimes people feel they need to keep a conversation going and say stupid things. |
Anonymous
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It's hard to know what she meant. The statement was pretty ambiguous and could be interpreted either way (either as a compliment or as a passive-aggressive put down.)
Given the ambiguity, why not assume the best? If it turns out she's indeed kinda' bitchy, you'll know that soon enough when she makes a more clearly bitchy comment. And if she's actually a nice person who was offering a compliment, you'll be so glad you didn't act a bit mean or standoff-ish because of a misunderstanding. |
Anonymous
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This is not meant to be snarky but I feel like any question that includes the phrase '...or am I being sensitive' probably involves a scenario where you are being sensitive.
I like to think that, in general, people are not mean spirited but they also don't put as much thought into their comments as you might think. |
Anonymous
Funny, I don't see how it can be cnstrued as anything but a jab. OP: if it happens again, ask what she means. |
Anonymous
| OP, what is your height and weight? bra size? How would you describe your style of dress? |