We spend around 18K a month, where does it go?

[Anonymous]

Clothing seems very high! And I love to dress my daughter in cute clothes!! But $500/month????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clothing seems very high! And I love to dress my daughter in cute clothes!! But $500/month????

We don't know how many kids many kids OP has. It's not totally unreasonable. I have 3 kids and they all play sports. It's cleats, running shoes, basketball shoes, boots, and casual shoes. Between the 3 of them I'm buying about 2 pairs of shoes on average a month. My now 14yr old had one month his foot grew an entire size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make good money and I can see how you end up at these numbers:

Children - I know people think $500/month for 3 kids clothing is high, and I agree you can definitely do it cheaper with Target/Old Navy, but that's $160/month per kid. At Nordstrom, a girls dress can be $40-$50. Jeans- $30-$40. A pair of sneakers- $40-50. A winter coat- $50-80. No, my kid doesn't need new shoes or a coat every month, but 4-5 pieces of clothing/shoes can add up quickly. I regularly go through the kids clothing and discard stained/ripped/worn clothes and replace them- 4-5 items a month is a lot, but not ridiculous.

Food and Dining - I would bet the $2k on groceries includes a lot of pre-prepared foods. I usually grocery shop on Tuesdays and pick up dinner from the Whole Foods prepared options that night. One Whole Foods prepared dinner for 5 people can be $50. Do that a few nights a week, plus other food, and it adds up quickly.

Home and Property- $300/week for a housekeeper does seem high, but if she does two 8 hour days, that's $18.75/hour, which seems in line with the market.

Shopping - $2500 does seem like a lot without a more detailed breakdown, but heck, if a weekly trip to Target is $100-$150 per shot (paper towels, laundry detergent, pharmacy supplies, poster board and markers for a school project, and yes, a few ridiculous things that seemed like a good idea at the time) that's $400-600/month right there.

Add in a medium size household purchase or two (maybe you only buy a vacuum every 5 years, but there's always something breaking/looking worn out- a new iPad or iPhone, blenders, frying pans, toasters, deck chairs, storm doors, dishwashers, etc)- say $300-500/month.

For adult clothes- a sweater or dress from a nice brand at Nordstrom, plus tailoring- $300. A pair of leggings at Lululemon- $90. DH tends to shop twice a year, but spend $2-3k a shot (nice suit, a couple of new dress shirts, maybe a new pair of shoes), so say that averages $400/month.

So right there, I'm up to $1500-1900 a month, and it doesn't feel like excessive overconsumption. Yes, we could buy "lower quality" stuff (and yes, I recognize that sometimes we are just paying for the recognizable brand name), and yes, I could make do with less, but I'm not buying bags and bags of clothing a month.

Holy storm door....how many iPads and frying pans and toasters are you all destroying every month? It sounds like you barely use the kitchen so what are you doing with that toaster anyway?

I don't know, we had one iPad and bought another for distance learning last year at ~$1000- so two months of "household" shopping. And now the older iPad has a cracked screen, so we'll probably replace it soon. My iPhone 6s battery finally gave up the ghost in January and a new iPhone 12 Pro was $1200. We replaced our 3-4 year old non-stick frying pans a few months ago (after watching Dark Waters) with "GreenPans"- $200. We just bought a new storm door for the back door- $800, so another two months of "household" shopping. It just feels like there is always something that costs between $300-$1000/month.

Ok. Apple has you right where they want you. You all are certainly doing your part for the economy.

Yeah, and their broken iPad screen can be fixed (and without creating even more electronic waste) for far less than $1,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside of private school tuition, vacations, donations, and routine savings (401K, HSA, 529s, brokerage, etc), we spend 18K a month. Although we can "afford" it, I sometimes feel like we are just bleeding money, and I'm not quite sure what our worst offender is. So here's the breakdown of our monthly "budget" (which really is a snapshot of how we spend money more than dollar limits). What strikes you as the most absurd category? Or is it just that everything is a bit bloated? We are a family of five, two adults and three kids.

Auto and Transport - 1,000
(includes 750 for a super low interest car loan and 250 for gas, ubers, misc. repairs, car washes)

Children - 2,000
(includes 500 a month for regular babysitter, 500 a month on clothing for 3 young kids, and about 1000 a month on activities, music lessons, etc)

Entertainment - 500
(includes TV services, digital subscriptions, amazon prime, tickets to events, etc)

Food and Dining - 3000
(about 1K a month eating out, 2K on groceries for family of 5)

Gifts - 500
(for extended family at Christmas, plus weddings, birthdays, etc)

Health and Fitness - 100
(Peloton, yoga classes, etc - used to be more before covid)

Home and Property - 7400
(electricity and gas is 300, yard care is around 250, twice weekly housekeeper is 1250, mortgage and tax is 5500)

Insurance - 150
(life and auto)

Personal care - 500
(hair, nails, dry cleaning, etc)

Shopping - 2500
(clothes for both adults, not children, plus home goods, like vacuums or decor items, plus small random things like paper towels or advil)

Utilities - 400
(phone and internet)

I know this budget is far from "normal" (except maybe on dcum) but I'm really curious if any one category seems unusually high. Thoughts?

wait if you’re rich - which you must be for this budget - why are you paying off a car? I just started making a lot of money 2-3 years ago and just bought a car. Cash. Bc don’t use debt that way.

[Anonymous]

You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clothing seems very high! And I love to dress my daughter in cute clothes!! But $500/month????

We don't know how many kids many kids OP has. It's not totally unreasonable. I have 3 kids and they all play sports. It's cleats, running shoes, basketball shoes, boots, and casual shoes. Between the 3 of them I'm buying about 2 pairs of shoes on average a month. My now 14yr old had one month his foot grew an entire size.

2 pairs a month for 3 kids is absurd.

[Anonymous]

I suggest that OP, won’t-eat-fruit-or-vegetables-unless-they’re-cut-up-into-bite-sized-pieces (like a toddler) lady, and all the others who think this is all perfectly normal or even aspirational use some of their incredible free time or the time they spend having people fuss over their hair/skin to read up on the French Revolution...

You’re all silly (at best) and are perfect examples of why the poors and middle class (reminder: the vast majority of the population) hate the rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice weekly housekeeper?

How's this dramatic? We have someone who comes 5hrs a day 5 days a week. She runs errands, grocery shops, cleans (we have weekly deep cleaners), meal preps, and organizes. I spends exactly zero time doing things I don't like doing. Well worth thr money.

Omg please how did you find her and how much do you pay.We are dying for something like this.

We pay a flat $500/wk-52 weeks a year, but also pay her and our side of FICA.

She's not working this week because we are on vacation, but she is doing a grocery shopping tomorrow and picking up our Easter catering so we come home to a full fridge of food.

We take 4-5 such weeks off a year.

I found her from a neighbor. She was their amazing nanny who was a household manager practically and the kids grew out of needing a nanny. She splits her time between us and another family. We have her from 12-5 M-F

It's incredible. I don't grocery shop, my fruits and veggies and cleaned and chopped and stored, i don't do laundry and, my closets are organized, my home is clutter free, and she now knows exactly what I need for meal prep. I post a weekly menu and she does all the chopping a cleaning, marinating and measuring. I just assemble stuff.

She also picks us prescriptions, gets oil changes, runs to thr post office, and will take the pets to the groomer.

Even Eddie Murphy goes to dry cleaners and run errands, he once said if I outsource everything what the f@ck do I do all day and I don’t want cold Starbucks. I like errands. I don’t consider them work.

Eddie Murphy did not to spend several hours a day at the salon and other grooming establishments. Unfortunately all the work required to have perfection in hair, face and body cant be outsourced yet.

Also, why do you need someone to store and clean fruits and vegetables for you? What does that even mean?

For instance when I come home on Saturday I'll have all my apples washed and put in the fridge bins. My strawberries will be washed stored and the green removed, celery, cucumber, bell peppers, cut and washed for snacking. Broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, green beans, mushrooms, cut washed and stored....ready for roasting. The stuff such as Swiss chard, kale, and cilantro will be washed of all the sand and dirt.

Makes is very easy to eat healthy. We hardly ever eat out and never eat garbage convenience food because it is convenient to grab fresh food. I also don't create a mess I have to clean doing prep.

What will I do when I get home from a week of skiing tomorrow afternoon? Not grocery shop, not do laundry, Not run errands, not pick dog up from the dog sitter. It looks to be nice. Will probably go on a bike ride with the family to stretch our legs from the flight, assemble Easter baskets, grill dinner, play an intense game of Phase 10 and then hop in the hot tub with DH with a glass of wine and then get into bed, sex and sleep.

Not bad but get someone else to deal with the grilling and the baskets and the phase 10 and the wine is wasting your time and brain. And still...why so much time and money with all the clothes and gear. Buy better stuff that lasts through more than one kid. Water of time and the constant churn of stuff just creates garbage.

DP, but what? Playing a card game with your family is a waste of your time and brain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

Right. I’m not understanding the point of this thread except to brag about how much money she has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

Right. I’m not understanding the point of this thread except to brag about how much money she has.

OP is either a troll or deranged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest that OP, won’t-eat-fruit-or-vegetables-unless-they’re-cut-up-into-bite-sized-pieces (like a toddler) lady, and all the others who think this is all perfectly normal or even aspirational use some of their incredible free time or the time they spend having people fuss over their hair/skin to read up on the French Revolution...

You’re all silly (at best) and are perfect examples of why the poors and middle class (reminder: the vast majority of the population) hate the rich.

But but... they can make so much use of that free time playing with their kids! 🙄

It’s sad how morally empty so many people are that they would think living their life that way is worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe you fools keep responding. This is an eloquent troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

Right. I’m not understanding the point of this thread except to brag about how much money she has.

OP is either a troll or deranged

I’m neither a troll nor deranged! And I’m also a very happy person, thank you very much. It’s an important lesson that everyone should learn that there are people in the world with “more” and it doesn’t mean they’re miserable (nor does it mean they are necessarily happy). This lesson applies to me as well as you; there are many many truly wealthy people with far more than we have, and I don’t for a moment question that they aren’t happy (or hard working, or loving, or loved) simply because they are rich. Similarly there are many people less fortunate than any PP on this thread, and they should not assume that YOU must be miserable simply because you can afford the time to relax by reading random threads on dcum.

Anyway this thread has proven quite helpful to me, in that it helped me identify the places our spending is high even for someone with a high income: food and shopping. This actually makes sense, and I want to be more intentional about how we spend money, so while we will likely decide to continue spending just as much, I hope to do so with more intention and awareness going forward.

Also yes we have more life and disability insurance through work, I just don’t treat that as a monthly expense (just as private school, vacation, healthcare, donations, and some others are not “monthly” and are instead taken out on an annual basis).

Thanks all, and to the person who has her housekeeper wash and prep her fruits and vegetables: that sounds lovely, and like a great way to employ someone if you can afford it. I’ll think about adding that in the future!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

Right. I’m not understanding the point of this thread except to brag about how much money she has.

OP is either a troll or deranged

I’m neither a troll nor deranged! And I’m also a very happy person, thank you very much. It’s an important lesson that everyone should learn that there are people in the world with “more” and it doesn’t mean they’re miserable (nor does it mean they are necessarily happy). This lesson applies to me as well as you; there are many many truly wealthy people with far more than we have, and I don’t for a moment question that they aren’t happy (or hard working, or loving, or loved) simply because they are rich. Similarly there are many people less fortunate than any PP on this thread, and they should not assume that YOU must be miserable simply because you can afford the time to relax by reading random threads on dcum.

Anyway this thread has proven quite helpful to me, in that it helped me identify the places our spending is high even for someone with a high income: food and shopping. This actually makes sense, and I want to be more intentional about how we spend money, so while we will likely decide to continue spending just as much, I hope to do so with more intention and awareness going forward.

Also yes we have more life and disability insurance through work, I just don’t treat that as a monthly expense (just as private school, vacation, healthcare, donations, and some others are not “monthly” and are instead taken out on an annual basis).

Thanks all, and to the person who has her housekeeper wash and prep her fruits and vegetables: that sounds lovely, and like a great way to employ someone if you can afford it. I’ll think about adding that in the future!

Lol you are 100% a troll based on this nearly instantaneous “happy” response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You listed where it goes. It’s up to you if you want to raise or lower your budget. If you’re happy with it, don’t worry about it.

Right. I’m not understanding the point of this thread except to brag about how much money she has.

OP is either a troll or deranged

I’m neither a troll nor deranged! And I’m also a very happy person, thank you very much. It’s an important lesson that everyone should learn that there are people in the world with “more” and it doesn’t mean they’re miserable (nor does it mean they are necessarily happy). This lesson applies to me as well as you; there are many many truly wealthy people with far more than we have, and I don’t for a moment question that they aren’t happy (or hard working, or loving, or loved) simply because they are rich. Similarly there are many people less fortunate than any PP on this thread, and they should not assume that YOU must be miserable simply because you can afford the time to relax by reading random threads on dcum.

Anyway this thread has proven quite helpful to me, in that it helped me identify the places our spending is high even for someone with a high income: food and shopping. This actually makes sense, and I want to be more intentional about how we spend money, so while we will likely decide to continue spending just as much, I hope to do so with more intention and awareness going forward.

Also yes we have more life and disability insurance through work, I just don’t treat that as a monthly expense (just as private school, vacation, healthcare, donations, and some others are not “monthly” and are instead taken out on an annual basis).

Thanks all, and to the person who has her housekeeper wash and prep her fruits and vegetables: that sounds lovely, and like a great way to employ someone if you can afford it. I’ll think about adding that in the future!

Lol you are 100% a troll based on this nearly instantaneous “happy” response.

Yeah I had my hopes up for legitimacy earlier on now it’s a definite troll