We spend around 18K a month, where does it go?

[Anonymous]

I have two kids in a lot of activities, plus I sock aside money each month for summer camps, and together that totals $1000/mo, so I think that's reasonable.

I do think $500 mo for clothes for kids is way out of line.

And food is high. Groceries could easily be 1500 without feeling a pinch.

But clearly showing is just too high.

Essentially when I look at your budget I just don't see where you ever say no. No we don't need that, or not right now, or let's buy this but wait for a sale or save up for it.

You're just mindlessly spending. You can afford it obviously, but maybe try just saying no. Do I WANT this or do I NEED this? How can I get this cheaper?

If you want, clearly you don't need to, but if you wanted you could easily save 2K out of your budget without feeling much of a squeeze, I think. It's easier to throw money at every problem you have, I get that. But, I mean really this is an excessive amount of purchasing. It's kind of gross. Think of the environment, if nothing else, or the example you are setting for your children. You are on a consumer hamster wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:another humble bragging thread?

That’s what I thought, too. “Dear DCUM, I burn at least 10K per month in my custom backyard fire pit hand built by Icelandic Elves with bespoke stones quarried by Italian children of aristocratic descent... we can afford it, of course, but does it seem like an unusually high amount?”

[Anonymous]

Twice weekly housekeeper?

[Anonymous]

Every category seems high except insurance. $150 (which includes auto) does not seem to be sufficient life insurance to replace $18k/month of spending.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. We spend a lot of money, and don't blink at $10-12k visa bills, but that includes vacations/travel which you have excluded. The things that strik me as abnomrally high are:

- $3000/month on food. That's $36k/year. That's a lot for 5 people
- $3000/month on clothing and "stuff". Your examples, like a vacuum cleaner, are things you buy every few years. You don't need that much stuff monthly.
- 2x week housekeeper is a lot but if that's where you want to spend that's fine and I get it.

I guess the question is why are you asking this. Are you trying to save money? It doesn't seem like it, so if that's the case go ahead and spend away. It's just an awful lot of consumerism and that's the thing that might make me think twice.

[Anonymous]

Your mortgage is really high, twice-weekly housekeepers is a definite luxury (which I'm sure you know) but if you actually want to save money look at your food and clothing expenses. We spend a lot on food too, so I get it, but I also recognize it would be easy to cut back. The clothes budget for kids is just insanity - either you're insisting on name brands, your kids have some kind of Insta-ready closet with hundreds of outfits each, or you're just guessing that the money goes toward kids clothes and it's actually your alcohol budget that you're disguising from yourself with fuzzy math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in a lot of activities, plus I sock aside money each month for summer camps, and together that totals $1000/mo, so I think that's reasonable.

I do think $500 mo for clothes for kids is way out of line.

And food is high. Groceries could easily be 1500 without feeling a pinch.

But clearly showing is just too high.

Essentially when I look at your budget I just don't see where you ever say no. No we don't need that, or not right now, or let's buy this but wait for a sale or save up for it.

You're just mindlessly spending. You can afford it obviously, but maybe try just saying no. Do I WANT this or do I NEED this? How can I get this cheaper?

If you want, clearly you don't need to, but if you wanted you could easily save 2K out of your budget without feeling much of a squeeze, I think. It's easier to throw money at every problem you have, I get that. But, I mean really this is an excessive amount of purchasing. It's kind of gross. Think of the environment, if nothing else, or the example you are setting for your children. You are on a consumer hamster wheel.

This PP gets it. OP, I think this is exactly what's making you uneasy about your budget - not that you're going in the red or anything, but some part of you recognizes this is excessive spending and you aren't being intentional with your wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your budget seems eerily similar to ours. It doesn’t seem like we live extravagantly, but I guess that is relative.

OP here. Tell me more! Was it budget creep as your income went up?

Anyway, it's not that we *need* to cut back, as we are continuing to save a lot of money. But I do sometimes have a moment of thinking, holy hell, 18K a month, how did I get here?!?

The person who said we don't really say "no" is spot on. We don't really say "no" because of money. We DO say "no" to our kids all the time for other reasons, and I certainly don't buy things when I think I wouldn't use it, but if I want something, I buy it.

I guess I can't decide if this is how I want to live, or if it's worth cutting back, mostly so I remember how to do it.

[Anonymous]

Food and dining and adult shopping is outrageous.

[Anonymous]

My 2 cents - personal care is low; my highlights are $300/month add botox, fillers, skincare etc. Clothes $ super high; food about right. House cleaning about right. Cars high but I HATE spending $ on cars and cars in general.

[Anonymous]

I've got to reiterate this: 3K a month on clothes is bananas. I know a lot of rich people and if they are spending this on clothes then they should be MUCH better dressed.

That's 20% of your monthly nut. On clothes. Your clothing budget exceeds your Transportation, Kid Activity, and Entertainment costs all together (which total $2500). It equals your food budget.

What are you buying? I'm dying to know. You must have several very expensive habits. I'm guessing an affinity for designer bags, maybe DH has an obsession for limited edition sneakers? Is it just designer everything? And perhaps most importantly, IS IT HIGHER DURING NON-COVID TIMES? Because I spend way more on clothes when I have places to go. Right now I'm splurging on the occasional cashmere sweater and fancy sweats and still not coming close to what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your budget seems eerily similar to ours. It doesn’t seem like we live extravagantly, but I guess that is relative.

OP here. Tell me more! Was it budget creep as your income went up?

Anyway, it's not that we *need* to cut back, as we are continuing to save a lot of money. But I do sometimes have a moment of thinking, holy hell, 18K a month, how did I get here?!?

The person who said we don't really say "no" is spot on. We don't really say "no" because of money. We DO say "no" to our kids all the time for other reasons, and I certainly don't buy things when I think I wouldn't use it, but if I want something, I buy it.

I guess I can't decide if this is how I want to live, or if it's worth cutting back, mostly so I remember how to do it.

Well, you didn't provide any information on how much you save each month, how much you have saved, or your age, for anyone to evaluate whether you save enough. The problem could come in when the $18k/month income goes away or you get tired of being chained to your jobs to keep up your current lifestyle. You also seem to be underinsured for your income level. How much life and disability insurance do you have? I like to live life but it's also important to make hay while the sun shines.

[Anonymous]

What do you do with all the clothes?!

[Anonymous]

$3000 on food??? What are you eating? I can’t imagine what you buy for $500 a week on groceries, then eating out on top of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 cents - personal care is low; my highlights are $300/month add botox, fillers, skincare etc. Clothes $ super high; food about right. House cleaning about right. Cars high but I HATE spending $ on cars and cars in general.

Fascinating... hot mom?