How is your gifted kid doing at a lower-ranked college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, regardless of grades and scores, I think your DD can find a college where students value the sorts of thing your DD does. You just have to spend some time looking for particular qualities, and not just at the most elite schools.

One resource I found helpful was reading reviews of individual schools at Unigo.com. Even if there are just a few reviews, I feel that I can get a decent feel for the school.

For example, I looked at the same question for two different schools often recommended on DCUM: "Are there intellectual conversations?" (listed under "Campus Topics"). At School A, 8% of respondents said "we save it for the classroom," and 34% said "Sometimes, but not often," so 42% total for those two lower categories. At School B, no students said "we save it for the classroom," and only 8% said "Sometimes, but not often." In contrast, 76% said "There's usually intelligent conversation to be found." and 16% said "All the time, including weekends." So students at School B seem much more engaged intellectually outside of classes.

Looking further at the stats, I see that School A is "more selective" (42% accepted) while School B is "selective," (74% accepted). Your DD might have a better shot at School B, AND it might be a better fit if she's looking for peers interested in intellectual discussions outside of class.

Yes, the surveys only include some students, so use due diligence. But I think reading about schools--of all selectivity levels--can help you and your DD identify schools where she can find "her people" and be challenged intellectually.

OR... what school B students count as intellectual conversations isn’t on the same plane as what students from school A consider to be intellectual conversations...
See, completely meaningless, PP. don’t waste your time.

Do you not accept that different schools are different? School A: 46% say Greek life is "everything," while School B has no Greek life. Still indistinguishable to you?

No, I’m saying school A could still be way more intellectual than school B, based on your description.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Are you that ignorant? Maybe after taxes that income comes down to $150k and you expect a parent to shell out $80k of that for a SLAC? 🤣🤣
Not everyone is able to save aggressively. Enormous health care premiums, the burden of saving for retirement, the cost of housing, medical costs and so on...there have been articles & articles written about this. Many MANY people actually get help from grandparents, but for those of who don’t: we send our kids to public colleges.

I’m not ignorant. I made 160 K and fully expect to send my kid to a private school, even if it takes us a while to pay it off. It’s just hard for me to understand how someone who makes 90 K more than I do can’t afford that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, regardless of grades and scores, I think your DD can find a college where students value the sorts of thing your DD does. You just have to spend some time looking for particular qualities, and not just at the most elite schools.

One resource I found helpful was reading reviews of individual schools at Unigo.com. Even if there are just a few reviews, I feel that I can get a decent feel for the school.

For example, I looked at the same question for two different schools often recommended on DCUM: "Are there intellectual conversations?" (listed under "Campus Topics"). At School A, 8% of respondents said "we save it for the classroom," and 34% said "Sometimes, but not often," so 42% total for those two lower categories. At School B, no students said "we save it for the classroom," and only 8% said "Sometimes, but not often." In contrast, 76% said "There's usually intelligent conversation to be found." and 16% said "All the time, including weekends." So students at School B seem much more engaged intellectually outside of classes.

Looking further at the stats, I see that School A is "more selective" (42% accepted) while School B is "selective," (74% accepted). Your DD might have a better shot at School B, AND it might be a better fit if she's looking for peers interested in intellectual discussions outside of class.

Yes, the surveys only include some students, so use due diligence. But I think reading about schools--of all selectivity levels--can help you and your DD identify schools where she can find "her people" and be challenged intellectually.

OR... what school B students count as intellectual conversations isn’t on the same plane as what students from school A consider to be intellectual conversations...
See, completely meaningless, PP. don’t waste your time.

Do you not accept that different schools are different? School A: 46% say Greek life is "everything," while School B has no Greek life. Still indistinguishable to you?

No, I’m saying school A could still be way more intellectual than school B, based on your description.

Sigh.

Let me make this simpler so you understand- School A: 95% say Engineering is a top priority. School B: 11% say Engineering is top priority. Which school do you think is better with Engineering? I’ll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, done all the net price calculators. No, we won't get enough FA to equal the price in-state. She's not exceptional enough to get a full ride scholarship at any of the schools like Duke or U Chicago that offer them. Yes, there are lots of CTY kids in this area, but many either qualify for FA or have the means to go to top schools We are not in either category. DD's going to a state school, more likely than not, and that worries me, perhaps needlessly, but I'm worried nonetheless. Even if she got into Harvard, she would not go there. They would not give us enough FA. Yale's NPC said we didn't qualify for any FA at all.

She has a 3.8 weighted GPA? If so, why in heavens name are you looking at Yale's NPC.

Right, and will she even get into the honors colleges people are suggesting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better than she would have at a "higher-ranked" college. She's crushing her classes, doing killer research with her professor, which will turn into a stellar senior thesis. She has great recommendations lined up for grad school and has enjoyed her time immensely at her low-stress, less competative, "lower-ranked" college. Plus, she much prefers the company of the down-to-earth students as opposed to the privileged snobs she'd encounter at a "highr-ranked" school.

Boy, lots of issues here. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think anyone’s said this, I haven’t read the whole thread— but a gifted kid will find like minded peers in the military. Not many high caliber brains enlist, but the ones who do will find themselves surrounded by like minded kids studying very challenging curriculums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Better than she would have at a "higher-ranked" college. She's crushing her classes, doing killer research with her professor, which will turn into a stellar senior thesis. She has great recommendations lined up for grad school and has enjoyed her time immensely at her low-stress, less competative, "lower-ranked" college. Plus, she much prefers the company of the down-to-earth students as opposed to the privileged snobs she'd encounter at a "highr-ranked" school.

Boy, lots of issues here. Yikes.

Really? Sounds like a ton of common sense to me. Also, someone who knows herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Are you that ignorant? Maybe after taxes that income comes down to $150k and you expect a parent to shell out $80k of that for a SLAC? 🤣🤣
Not everyone is able to save aggressively. Enormous health care premiums, the burden of saving for retirement, the cost of housing, medical costs and so on...there have been articles & articles written about this. Many MANY people actually get help from grandparents, but for those of who don’t: we send our kids to public colleges.

I’m not ignorant. I made 160 K and fully expect to send my kid to a private school, even if it takes us a while to pay it off. It’s just hard for me to understand how someone who makes 90 K more than I do can’t afford that.

An important question is whether the investment is worth it. I can send my kid to a Virginia state school for ~$30k or a private college for $70k. There is no college in the world that provides an education that is $160k better than what my kids can get at a state school IMO. We might be able to figure out how to pay for it; but I don't believe it is a good use of our money. (I'll also add that we could not pay that amount without borrowing, and so IMO that means we'd actually can't afford it. We're not interested in incurring debt to send our kids to college.)

DH and I got to our $250k HHI with liberal arts degrees from state schools (including for grad school). I have no doubt whatsoever that an excellent education can be had at a public university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there really people who make over $250k and won’t send their kid to a SLAC? 😲

Are you that ignorant? Maybe after taxes that income comes down to $150k and you expect a parent to shell out $80k of that for a SLAC? 🤣🤣
Not everyone is able to save aggressively. Enormous health care premiums, the burden of saving for retirement, the cost of housing, medical costs and so on...there have been articles & articles written about this. Many MANY people actually get help from grandparents, but for those of who don’t: we send our kids to public colleges.

I’m not ignorant. I made 160 K and fully expect to send my kid to a private school, even if it takes us a while to pay it off. It’s just hard for me to understand how someone who makes 90 K more than I do can’t afford that.

An important question is whether the investment is worth it. I can send my kid to a Virginia state school for ~$30k or a private college for $70k. There is no college in the world that provides an education that is $160k better than what my kids can get at a state school IMO. We might be able to figure out how to pay for it; but I don't believe it is a good use of our money. (I'll also add that we could not pay that amount without borrowing, and so IMO that means we'd actually can't afford it. We're not interested in incurring debt to send our kids to college.)

DH and I got to our $250k HHI with liberal arts degrees from state schools (including for grad school). I have no doubt whatsoever that an excellent education can be had at a public university.

Meant to add: Excellent educations can also be had at non-elite private colleges that offer significant merit aid to high-achieving kids.

[Anonymous]

OP- you still here? I would recommend SLACs that give a ton of merit aid. Come back and update us. Your kid sounds awesome and she (and you!) will be fine. DCUM is a cesspool most times. Look at unigo and have her get comfy with smaller colleges where the professors are so happy to have a smart nonconformist kid like your daughter. She’ll end up heading to grad school I bet. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, done all the net price calculators. No, we won't get enough FA to equal the price in-state. She's not exceptional enough to get a full ride scholarship at any of the schools like Duke or U Chicago that offer them. Yes, there are lots of CTY kids in this area, but many either qualify for FA or have the means to go to top schools We are not in either category. DD's going to a state school, more likely than not, and that worries me, perhaps needlessly, but I'm worried nonetheless. Even if she got into Harvard, she would not go there. They would not give us enough FA. Yale's NPC said we didn't qualify for any FA at all.

She has a 3.8 weighted GPA? If so, why in heavens name are you looking at Yale's NPC.

Right, and will she even get into the honors colleges people are suggesting?

I thought OP said it was a 3.88 unweighted GPA. Seems like we don’t have enough additional information to suggest schools based on just that.

[Anonymous]

OP -- there are gifted kids at all sorts of schools for all sorts of reasons, and ... and a truckload of kids at top/exclusive schools who are not remotely gifted at all.

[Anonymous]

If she's at a "good Public" as you say, then she probably does have a weighted GPA which you aren't telling us. Only the top 3 privates are unweighted. How many AP courses has she taken? What ECs does she have? How did she get so far in the system without an I.Q. test (schools do them routinely, as they do SOLs). What will her teacher recommendations say?

Yale picks kids with 4.8s, 1600 SATs, perfect SAT II subject matter tests (yes being phased out here but you can still take them abroad thru June of this year); national honors; huge community service like Eagle Scout; Team sports and school leadership positions which demonstrate your kid can get along with others and LEAD, which it sounds like she can't. That could be a real problem. What will her teachers say in their letters of recommendation? Will her counselor check off the "most rigorous" box?

[Anonymous]

OP: Try for honors college at a state school. If she wants to get away, look at other states. For ex, Miami of OH is less than SLACS and gives merit based on GPA (and SAT in other years). If she does well on SAT, that may open up merit aid options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, regardless of grades and scores, I think your DD can find a college where students value the sorts of thing your DD does. You just have to spend some time looking for particular qualities, and not just at the most elite schools.

One resource I found helpful was reading reviews of individual schools at Unigo.com. Even if there are just a few reviews, I feel that I can get a decent feel for the school.

For example, I looked at the same question for two different schools often recommended on DCUM: "Are there intellectual conversations?" (listed under "Campus Topics"). At School A, 8% of respondents said "we save it for the classroom," and 34% said "Sometimes, but not often," so 42% total for those two lower categories. At School B, no students said "we save it for the classroom," and only 8% said "Sometimes, but not often." In contrast, 76% said "There's usually intelligent conversation to be found." and 16% said "All the time, including weekends." So students at School B seem much more engaged intellectually outside of classes.

Looking further at the stats, I see that School A is "more selective" (42% accepted) while School B is "selective," (74% accepted). Your DD might have a better shot at School B, AND it might be a better fit if she's looking for peers interested in intellectual discussions outside of class.

Yes, the surveys only include some students, so use due diligence. But I think reading about schools--of all selectivity levels--can help you and your DD identify schools where she can find "her people" and be challenged intellectually.

OR... what school B students count as intellectual conversations isn’t on the same plane as what students from school A consider to be intellectual conversations...
See, completely meaningless, PP. don’t waste your time.

Do you not accept that different schools are different? School A: 46% say Greek life is "everything," while School B has no Greek life. Still indistinguishable to you?

No, I’m saying school A could still be way more intellectual than school B, based on your description.

Sigh.

Let me make this simpler so you understand- School A: 95% say Engineering is a top priority. School B: 11% say Engineering is top priority. Which school do you think is better with Engineering? I’ll wait.

That's not the same scenario you laid out in the first example. It's astonishing you can't see that.