How is your gifted kid doing at a lower-ranked college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she's not on the spectrum. A psychotherapist friend calls her a late bloomer, which may be the case. She's a kid who reads a four-hundred page book in an hour, yet she forgets to study for an English test. I don't know what you call that. Immaturity?

I call that very, very obvious ADHD. Classic symptoms, in fact.
The hyperfocus part of ADHD means she gets lost in her book.
The inattentive part of ADHD means she forgets due dates and assignments.
It's sad you didn't catch on sooner, because she could have had a much better experience at school, and been much happier. Children with ADHD who are left to struggle on their own often because angry and frustrated, and are more likely to turn to self-medication with drugs or other undesirable activities.

You want to get her evaluated by a psychologist as soon as possible. Don't ask your pediatrician, they are not trained in that specialty.

(BTW, twice exceptional means gifted with disabilities, not necessarily Aspie. It can be dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, whatever.)

She's been unhappy due to the isolation caused by the pandemic, so I had her evaluated. The psychotherapist said she's gifted and hypersensitive to stress, but no ADHD. She's fairly well organized. Forgetting to study for a test has only happened once or twice. She reads prodigiously.

We have wondered about our DD and haven’t had her evaluated yet. Do you mind sharing who your went to? And if you are happy with the service?

I asked the mom of one of DD's friends for a recommendation. She referred me to her private school psychologist, who was extremely helpful in providing me with names of psychotherapists who specialize in teenagers. We visited several (virtually) and chose one that our DD liked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should look at liberal arts colleges that give merit aid. You might be able to get close to what the state schools cost and she could have smaller classes.

We tried this route with our older kids, and they didn't get enough merit aid (even at much lower-ranked schools) to fill the gap. Our older kids went to state colleges purely because of price.

If anyone has a gifted kid who was/is happy at a lower-ranked school, please post. Thanks!

Where do you live? UVA, UMD are not "lower-ranked".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. She's not getting into a top college with that profile.

2. No undergrad is going to be interesting enough, so you might as well send her to your state school, and focus on transferring.

3. For that, she has to be get serious about getting better grades DESPITE an uninspiring work environment. That, too, is a skill she needs to master!

We can't only do things we like and avoid things we hate. Learning to grind is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try a school like Kenyon that has super generous merit aid and where she might be a competitive applicant,too. When we did the math, it was cheaper for my child to go there than the University of Michigan.

Thanks! I'll add that one to our wish list. I looked at Kenyon when I was applying to college. Paul Newman went there. A close friend of my husband went there too.

Oberlin. Generous merit aid.

Does it give nearly full rides? Because sticker price is 60K or something. Why anybody in their right mind would pay that much for Oberlin is beyond me.

You can’t appreciate SLACs including Oberlin unless someone in your family experienced one. It’s like someone saying she can’t understand why anyone would pay $1000 for a smart phone when a $10 rotary dial phone does what a smart phone does - make phone calls. It’s hard to explain. Once you experience a smartphone, you can’t live without one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds really annoying TBH

She also sounds very entitled.

Maybe she should get a JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. She's not getting into a top college with that profile.

2. No undergrad is going to be interesting enough, so you might as well send her to your state school, and focus on transferring.

3. For that, she has to be get serious about getting better grades DESPITE an uninspiring work environment. That, too, is a skill she needs to master!

This is a pretty uninspiring post. Why not sleep in your coffin? We're all going to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

Then you really don't know if she's gifted, or how many standard deviations above normal she is. Without that info, no one here can really help you. That sort of testing usually starts fairly early when applying to privates at pre-K, K, etc. You need to have a professional neuropsych test done (expensive, at least $3,000, should be spread out over several days). That will help to tease out ADHD, Aspergers/ASD, anxiety disorder, depression and I.Q. For example, my Aspie kid came in at a MENSA level I.Q but very slow processing speed. He had a terrible time with homework (executive function) but is brilliant. Brilliance doesn't help unless you know how to use it and that's what the SN schools NOW can help you with. For example, if she has ADHD, you might like Commonwealth Academy which helps gifted ADHD kids. Or Nysmith (Gifted), etc. But that testing needs to be done now. In the SN world, every three years is considered normal because children change and diagnoses change. You could try calling around for a neuropsych tester who will do just I.Q. but it sounds like there's a lot of other things going on that you need to worry about before college. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds really annoying TBH

She also sounds very entitled.

Maybe she should get a JOB.

Please, go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a junior, and her only options for college are in-state because of our family's financial situation. She has a 3.88 at a good public high school, one sport, no ECs to speak of. She hates high school with a passion, thinks it's idiotic, all her classes are stupid, hates the administration and its crazy rules and incompetence, etc. She does the work because her friends do it, but she has no enthusiasm for school at all.

She went to CTY at Johns Hopkins for three summers, where she really blossomed. She told me recently those were the happiest weeks of her life. Her CTY teachers said she was "exceptional" and "outstanding."
I'm not bragging, I'm worried. I fear she'll be unhappy and unchallenged in college. We can't afford to send her to a CTY-like top college. If you have a similarly gifted kid who went to a lower-ranked college, how did s/he do? Did your child find a peer group? Were the classes interesting/challenging enough? Any advice most appreciated.

I've got a 10th grader who spent 4 summers with CTY residential. Just like your DD, he'd say those were the happiest weeks of his life too.
So sad that programs got canceled last summer and again this summer.

We're looking for colleges that resemble the CTY environment. So far it has been SLACs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds really annoying TBH

She also sounds very entitled.

Maybe she should get a JOB.

Wtf is wrong with everyone? She sounds like a normal healthy teenager to me!! State school will be wonderful, OP. She will flourish and find her people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

Then you really don't know if she's gifted, or how many standard deviations above normal she is. Without that info, no one here can really help you. That sort of testing usually starts fairly early when applying to privates at pre-K, K, etc. You need to have a professional neuropsych test done (expensive, at least $3,000, should be spread out over several days). That will help to tease out ADHD, Aspergers/ASD, anxiety disorder, depression and I.Q. For example, my Aspie kid came in at a MENSA level I.Q but very slow processing speed. He had a terrible time with homework (executive function) but is brilliant. Brilliance doesn't help unless you know how to use it and that's what the SN schools NOW can help you with. For example, if she has ADHD, you might like Commonwealth Academy which helps gifted ADHD kids. Or Nysmith (Gifted), etc. But that testing needs to be done now. In the SN world, every three years is considered normal because children change and diagnoses change. You could try calling around for a neuropsych tester who will do just I.Q. but it sounds like there's a lot of other things going on that you need to worry about before college. Best of luck!

SAT is a proxy for IQ test. For CTY, you can submit different tests to qualify. They accept SAT. For elementary school kids, they have their own test.

[Anonymous]

OP, look at the slacs ranked 80-100. Your daughter will get plenty of merit aid and she’ll find her people. Gifted students are everywhere. It really is a very small subset of applicants, gifted or not, who are attending the most highly-ranked college available to them without regard for cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should look at liberal arts colleges that give merit aid. You might be able to get close to what the state schools cost and she could have smaller classes.

We tried this route with our older kids, and they didn't get enough merit aid (even at much lower-ranked schools) to fill the gap. Our older kids went to state colleges purely because of price.

If anyone has a gifted kid who was/is happy at a lower-ranked school, please post. Thanks!

Where do you live? UVA, UMD are not "lower-ranked".

They are not top schools, objectively speaking. It doesn't mean that OP's DD will get in, though. She needs 4s and 5s on her APs and a nearly perfect SAT/ACT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may have missed it somewhere but have you had actual IQ testing done?

No. I don't believe in IQ tests. DD did take the SAT in 7th grade to get into CTY, and she did very well.

Then you really don't know if she's gifted, or how many standard deviations above normal she is. Without that info, no one here can really help you. That sort of testing usually starts fairly early when applying to privates at pre-K, K, etc. You need to have a professional neuropsych test done (expensive, at least $3,000, should be spread out over several days). That will help to tease out ADHD, Aspergers/ASD, anxiety disorder, depression and I.Q. For example, my Aspie kid came in at a MENSA level I.Q but very slow processing speed. He had a terrible time with homework (executive function) but is brilliant. Brilliance doesn't help unless you know how to use it and that's what the SN schools NOW can help you with. For example, if she has ADHD, you might like Commonwealth Academy which helps gifted ADHD kids. Or Nysmith (Gifted), etc. But that testing needs to be done now. In the SN world, every three years is considered normal because children change and diagnoses change. You could try calling around for a neuropsych tester who will do just I.Q. but it sounds like there's a lot of other things going on that you need to worry about before college. Best of luck!

We did a neuropsych with my older DD, who had a brain injury. I don't remember if they gave us an IQ number, but it wouldn't interest me if they had. IQ changes over time, which IMHO makes it meaningless.