What ugly things do you hide about your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I periodically throw away my DHs clothes. The ones I don't like. I never admit it to him.

You will burn in hell for that. I may try it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My affair. My husband’s interest in me sexually became non existent after 20 years of marriage but otherwise we co-exist nicely. We have a DADT agreement and it works for me. This is not what I wished for in a marriage but going sex less was not an option.

Realize a lot of the men you are having sex with do not have that agreement in their marriages and you and your spouse are opening yourselves and family to danger, your kids finding out, etc if a betrayed angry spouse finds out you are screwing her husband. I hope you are keeping it to single people.

You have no idea about any of the men she is having sex with. Stop projecting your ideas on her choices.

A little of both. I ended it and got full custody. I'm an awesome father

The insanity and bitterness by female respondents on this topic is unreal. Lunatics.

I'm neither insane, nor bitter in the least. I am a man who posted the bolded statement so you are wrong on three counts. As a man who has had numerous APs over more than a decade, half of them were single women and none of the married women were found out by their spouses or anyone else. The majority of people pull this off just fine. Oh he horror if my kids had found out? Hell, they would be on my side. Trust me. They lived through my bad marriage to their mother.

So you let them grow up in the bad marriage and witness dysfunction while screwing a ton of other women instead of putting your kids first and ending the shitty marriage. Great dad

Agree. What crappy father and role model. Those extra women aren't the only ones you screwed. Your kids are doomed.

[Anonymous]

My husband's PTSD due from the war and the occasional violent incident that results. I do find it tough,though, when neighborhood friends are like "He's such a great guy. He cooks! You're so lucky" and I'm like "You have no idea."

Also, he can be really petty when I have a career success. Tends to feel threatened rather than being supportive. THis sucks but it's not something I"m going to broadcast.

[Anonymous]

If we have time, I spank DH before he goes to work in the morning.

[Anonymous]

He's mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and now occasionally physically abusive. He drinks excessively. He makes me suicidal. Then he gaslights the hell out of me and, just when I've decided THIS TIME FOR SURE WE ARE DONE, he goes back to being normal and loving. For a little while, at least. Just long enough for me to lose out on that perfect rental I secretly found.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and now occasionally physically abusive. He drinks excessively. He makes me suicidal. Then he gaslights the hell out of me and, just when I've decided THIS TIME FOR SURE WE ARE DONE, he goes back to being normal and loving. For a little while, at least. Just long enough for me to lose out on that perfect rental I secretly found.

You need to get counseling and get the hell out. What a miserable life, I hope you don’t have kids witnessing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and now occasionally physically abusive. He drinks excessively. He makes me suicidal. Then he gaslights the hell out of me and, just when I've decided THIS TIME FOR SURE WE ARE DONE, he goes back to being normal and loving. For a little while, at least. Just long enough for me to lose out on that perfect rental I secretly found.

Please read the book “Stop Walking on Eggshells” by Randi T. Mason... it will open your eyes. You are describing the bare basics of my ex, my therapist suggested I read that book and it was life changing. Reading it gave me the strength to stand up and leave and now I am happily married and am shocked on a daily basis how amazing my partner is and how much I was shorting myself on a healthy loving relationship the longer I stayed with my ex. The suggestion of this book led me to reading others that are similar and at 31, it was the is flow most valuable piece of advice I’ve ever received. He’s a narcissist and likely a sociopath and there is nothing you can do to change it. Mine was also an alcoholic so that added a bit as well.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:That DH has a love child he sees regularly.

Born during your marriage or prior??

During.

Sorry you have to deal with that.

Pp. do you have kids? If so- do they know they have a half sibling?

Yes - they spend time together regularly.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.

We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.

Who GAF what you think. MYOB and live and let live. If they like it and aren't hurting anyone, who cares?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My affair. My husband’s interest in me sexually became non existent after 20 years of marriage but otherwise we co-exist nicely. We have a DADT agreement and it works for me. This is not what I wished for in a marriage but going sex less was not an option.

Realize a lot of the men you are having sex with do not have that agreement in their marriages and you and your spouse are opening yourselves and family to danger, your kids finding out, etc if a betrayed angry spouse finds out you are screwing her husband. I hope you are keeping it to single people.

You have no idea about any of the men she is having sex with. Stop projecting your ideas on her choices.

A little of both. I ended it and got full custody. I'm an awesome father

The insanity and bitterness by female respondents on this topic is unreal. Lunatics.

I'm neither insane, nor bitter in the least. I am a man who posted the bolded statement so you are wrong on three counts. As a man who has had numerous APs over more than a decade, half of them were single women and none of the married women were found out by their spouses or anyone else. The majority of people pull this off just fine. Oh he horror if my kids had found out? Hell, they would be on my side. Trust me. They lived through my bad marriage to their mother.

So you let them grow up in the bad marriage and witness dysfunction while screwing a ton of other women instead of putting your kids first and ending the shitty marriage. Great dad

Agree. What crappy father and role model. Those extra women aren't the only ones you screwed. Your kids are doomed.

No, my kids are doing great, once I got them away from their toxic, alcoholic mother. They are thriving. My affairs did not damage them because-and I know you just can't fathom this-I'm able to keep my sex life private. If your kids know all about your sex life, that's pretty creepy. Yet its common belief here on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I periodically throw away my DHs clothes. The ones I don't like. I never admit it to him.

You will burn in hell for that. I may try it.

Haha haha. Me too. And he rarely notices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If we have time, I spank DH before he goes to work in the morning.

That's awesome. I though this was only us. Unless she forgets (and I don't remind her) I get six swats with the cane or oak paddle before I go out the door for "maintenance." The other day, I texted her a mile down the road and said, haha, got out the door without my swats. I paid for that later. I'm sure my wife would love to talk to you and swap stories.

[Anonymous]

Depression that manifests into anger management (verbally abusive, name calling), binge drinking on the weekends, and zero interest in parenting our two year old, who doesn’t want to be left alone with him. I left a few months ago and am sooooo glad that I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think people have no idea they are swingers are dead wrong. That news travels like wildfire.

We just recently found that that my FIL (60s) and his wife (50s) are swingers. I think it's hilarious. My H doesn't think so.

Ewww.
I'm think it's incredibly dumb and trashy, especially for post-menopausal people. I'm sure they themselves think they are oh-so-hot. Gross.

The Villages in FL has one of the highest STD rates in the country. Swinging is common there. Clearly old people find other old people attractive. I have no problem with it. I hope I having sex with my DW when we are old.
We aren't into swinging, but have a bit of an exhibition and voyeur dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound very dysfunctional. Why don’t you use that hotel fund for couples therapy.

This.