How many kids makes you a weirdo?

[Anonymous]

3 says to me you were trying for one more to get your girl, or get your boy. Most people stop especially after the third of one sex.

4 is usually the same, with the occasional families that just wanted a 4th.

5+ I think Catholic or Mormon and I don’t think $$ has anything to do with it, it’s purely religious or cultural.

I say this as an oldest girl from one of the above mentioned religions in an enormous family. I also think there may be a psychological issue with parents, but mostly mothers, who keep popping out babies— depression or attention seeking behavior. Religious zealots excluded- but some religious people using the cultural background as cover for their baby addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4. I was debating between 4 and 5, but if I’m debating, then that means it’s weird to me. I’m in EOTP DC and the only people with 3 have second marriages or a surprise baby.

? Maybe it’s an affluent circle thing but almost every family I know has 3 kids.

I am EOTP and almost everyone has two. Those with three have a surprise or some/all are adopted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just be advised that you're going to get a lot of answers here from people who are secretly envious of you. They wanted more kids but most likely waited too late and then couldn't have as many as they would have liked.

Um no it just drives me bonkers when people have 4+ kids and then complain that daycare, college, etc is too expensive and that they are “donut hole.” Huge eye roll re: parents who have that many kids applying for FA for college. And kids get annoyed by their siblings.

Thankfully financial aid officers/policies don’t discriminate against innocent children who didn’t have a say in how many siblings they would have. I’m guessing that kids from big families of modest means have always been and will always be prime beneficiaries of financial aid, and rightly so.

Ugh don’t have that many kids if you can’t afford to.

Your parents don't owe you a college tuition.

+1 this argument doesn’t make any sense. By that logic no one should get financial aid - or no one should have kids except the wealthy who can pay full price for college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're able to have 5+ kids, that probably means you started having kids younger than other people, and that would make you kind of "different" by default. Most people I know started having kids around 30 after going to college, having a job, doing some travelling, etc., and probably the most you can have after that is 4.

I know people who have had more than that when starting at 30. All it takes is one set of twins for your last pregnancy to get to the 5-6 kids range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

Correct. I have a friend who used a donor egg at 43. Their kid is now About to enter kindergarten, her husband just hit 50, and Sadly was Just diagnosed with a pretty devestating disease. I don’t agree with big families, but I certainly don’t agree with senior citizen parent families that paid for a donor egg trophy kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

How is it bad? The parents generally have more time and money. My husband had kids young and old. Its much easier as an older parent. More money, time and patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

Whether it's bad or good is another argument entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant with #4 (my oldest just turned 5). I don’t work anymore and we have a lot of help (nanny + part-time housekeeper, and I’ll have a night nurse for the first 12 or so weeks). It’s not uncommon in my circle to have 3 or 4, but I definitely have gotten a few “whoa!” comments. All of our children were planned, but I get a lot of assumptions that we couldn’t possibly want 4 under age 5. We always set out to have a big family and I’d rather get the baby stage finished! Plus it’s so lovely to have them near in age. My oldest two are 17 months apart and they are very close.

I can’t even tell you how many people freely and vocally assumed or asked if my third was an “accident” when I was pregnant just because I already had one boy and one girl and then looked at me like I had multiple heads when I told them the third was very much planned. It was very strange. And rude.

Yes! I’ve posted about this before but my MIL cornered me just as soon as she could after I announced I was expecting #3 to ask with faux concern if “this was an accident.” She truly could not understand WHY we would purposely have another child when we had “one of each.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdest are families with 1. They agonize and obsess over everything precious Larla does. Not all parents. But many.

+1

We are having our fourth and are more laid back than people we know with only one. Like the freaks at the park who follow their kid around the whole time. It’s straight up weird. I’m seeing more and more friends have 4 while still having a career and happy marriage and full life. Already the saying was “three is the new two.” Now that that study found that 4 is the ideal number, will it be 4?

You aren't laid back. You are neglectful. Its your responsibility to make sure your toddler is safe at a park. The adults are happy, but that's not what people are saying. Its about meeting the kids needs. Its very difficult to meet 4 kids needs, spend 1-1 time with them and really focus on each as an individual. Usually parents like you pawn your kids off on others and we end up doing it as we feel sorry for the kids. You will call us to carpool but carpool means we drive your kid and you don't do anything as you don't have the space or a kid is napping or some other excuse. We feed your kid because we pick them up and they are hungry as you were focused on other things or the kids have to fend for themselves. You don't even realize what the impact is on your kids as its really all about you.

This doesn’t really make any sense. Think about what it’s like to live with five other people. There isn’t a lot of privacy. I don’t have some kind of secret life separate from my kids. If I am getting myself something to eat, then I need to make food, or at least get food out for five people. Fend for yourself? Seriously? I don’t even see parents of four do the thing where kids eat together, then parents eat together later after kids go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

How is it bad? The parents generally have more time and money. My husband had kids young and old. Its much easier as an older parent. More money, time and patience.

Diabetes, cancer, heart disease. See, I can quote things too. Things that happen to you in your 50s and 60s. It’s not all “accumulated wealth” and happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant with #4 (my oldest just turned 5). I don’t work anymore and we have a lot of help (nanny + part-time housekeeper, and I’ll have a night nurse for the first 12 or so weeks). It’s not uncommon in my circle to have 3 or 4, but I definitely have gotten a few “whoa!” comments. All of our children were planned, but I get a lot of assumptions that we couldn’t possibly want 4 under age 5. We always set out to have a big family and I’d rather get the baby stage finished! Plus it’s so lovely to have them near in age. My oldest two are 17 months apart and they are very close.

I can’t even tell you how many people freely and vocally assumed or asked if my third was an “accident” when I was pregnant just because I already had one boy and one girl and then looked at me like I had multiple heads when I told them the third was very much planned. It was very strange. And rude.

Yes! I’ve posted about this before but my MIL cornered me just as soon as she could after I announced I was expecting #3 to ask with faux concern if “this was an accident.” She truly could not understand WHY we would purposely have another child when we had “one of each.”

Are you poor? Maybe she was worried she would have to help you financially. My BIL has three and when #3 came along (planned!) he asked everyone in the family to “help” financially. True story. MIL paid their down payment when they “outgrew” their apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care how many kids you have, but I think it’s weird when people have kids at 43+.

I don't think it's weird, but I just assume they used a donor egg.

If we’re going with the logic that it’s “bad” for kids to have 4 other siblings, I think it’s “bad” for kids to have 60 year old parents when they’re in high school.

How is it bad? The parents generally have more time and money. My husband had kids young and old. Its much easier as an older parent. More money, time and patience.

Diabetes, cancer, heart disease. See, I can quote things too. Things that happen to you in your 50s and 60s. It’s not all “accumulated wealth” and happiness.

And tiredness. I know, I know your friend’s cousin is 61 and has a kindergartner and is full of energy. But that’s not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdest are families with 1. They agonize and obsess over everything precious Larla does. Not all parents. But many.

+1

We are having our fourth and are more laid back than people we know with only one. Like the freaks at the park who follow their kid around the whole time. It’s straight up weird. I’m seeing more and more friends have 4 while still having a career and happy marriage and full life. Already the saying was “three is the new two.” Now that that study found that 4 is the ideal number, will it be 4?

You aren't laid back. You are neglectful. Its your responsibility to make sure your toddler is safe at a park. The adults are happy, but that's not what people are saying. Its about meeting the kids needs. Its very difficult to meet 4 kids needs, spend 1-1 time with them and really focus on each as an individual. Usually parents like you pawn your kids off on others and we end up doing it as we feel sorry for the kids. You will call us to carpool but carpool means we drive your kid and you don't do anything as you don't have the space or a kid is napping or some other excuse. We feed your kid because we pick them up and they are hungry as you were focused on other things or the kids have to fend for themselves. You don't even realize what the impact is on your kids as its really all about you.

Previous poster is super out of line.