YouTube Influencer Myka Stauffer "rehomes" adopted son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im actually disgusted by so many of the comments on this thread. I know Myka personally and this whole situation has been heart breaking for this family. They did not re-home Huxley like an unwanted pet. They put SO much time and money into his medical care, therapy, etc. to help find out how severe his special needs are and believe me, they ARE severe. I’m not going to put her personal info on here but this wasn’t a decision that they came to overnight. This decision to send him to a family who has experience with his extreme mental health and special needs was recommended by multiple health professionals. It was over 6 months of them trying to figure out the best way to help me. A lot went on behind the scenes with Huxleys needs and for the safety of him and the other kids, this was the best option.

Some of you are truly disgusting. Unless you were in her shoes yourself, you have no clue what her and her family went through. Hux was and is beyond loved and was cared for wonderfully by them.

Those multiple health professionals were wise to recommend getting him into the care of a different family. What does it take to fail so miserably as a parent that professionals recommend that you give up your child?

Hmm... how about when safety is involved for both the child and the other children? Or how him remaining in the home would not make things better for him or help him? He needed to be in a home where he could get 1 on 1 attention and they have 3 other kids in the home.

Don't have more children than you can handle. I see this all the time in families with 3 and 4 kids. It's cool at the beginning with all the announcements and attention, but it's very hard to give multiple children a lot of attention. Her choice to have so many children in close age was a bad choice that failed the kids, period. And yes, this is exactly the sort of family that could afford a 1-on-1 nanny if they wanted.

This is likely correct. I've witnessed a few instances of rehoming through some contact with adoption groups and for the most challenged kids they almost always need to go to a home with a stay at home parent and no other children. They can't get what they need as part of a big family and the other children suffer, sometimes really seriously. It's sad, but by the time it comes to this it is usually the right move for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Are there any consequences or financial penalties for people who return or rehome their adoptive child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people taking Myka’s word that he’s gone to a better home as truth?

If you google “second chance adoption” or “readoption” you’ll see that this area is rife with abuse.

Literally nobody wants these kids (not their birth parents, not their foster parents, not their adopted parents) so evil people take them in order to abuse them.

you are dumb

DP. Such a cogent, thoughtful response to a reasonable and correct point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im actually disgusted by so many of the comments on this thread. I know Myka personally and this whole situation has been heart breaking for this family. They did not re-home Huxley like an unwanted pet. They put SO much time and money into his medical care, therapy, etc. to help find out how severe his special needs are and believe me, they ARE severe. I’m not going to put her personal info on here but this wasn’t a decision that they came to overnight. This decision to send him to a family who has experience with his extreme mental health and special needs was recommended by multiple health professionals. It was over 6 months of them trying to figure out the best way to help me. A lot went on behind the scenes with Huxleys needs and for the safety of him and the other kids, this was the best option.

Some of you are truly disgusting. Unless you were in her shoes yourself, you have no clue what her and her family went through. Hux was and is beyond loved and was cared for wonderfully by them.

Those multiple health professionals were wise to recommend getting him into the care of a different family. What does it take to fail so miserably as a parent that professionals recommend that you give up your child?

Hmm... how about when safety is involved for both the child and the other children? Or how him remaining in the home would not make things better for him or help him? He needed to be in a home where he could get 1 on 1 attention and they have 3 other kids in the home.

This is likely correct. I've witnessed a few instances of rehoming through some contact with adoption groups and for the most challenged kids they almost always need to go to a home with a stay at home parent and no other children. They can't get what they need as part of a big family and the other children suffer, sometimes really seriously. It's sad, but by the time it comes to this it is usually the right move for everyone.

Yup, this.

Nobody "rehomes" their own biological four year olds. She never considered this boy her child.

THIS

People do institutionalize their bio kids and some give them up to the state if they can't handle treatment, so that is inaccurate.

Tell me about all these “institutions” where people send their preschoolers to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people taking Myka’s word that he’s gone to a better home as truth?

If you google “second chance adoption” or “readoption” you’ll see that this area is rife with abuse.

Literally nobody wants these kids (not their birth parents, not their foster parents, not their adopted parents) so evil people take them in order to abuse them.

you are dumb

What is dumb about this? It's a real thing.

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

[Anonymous]

I’m curious who pays for the child’s costs and therapy bills, etc. in this situation. Is Myka still financially responsible? She brought him here from China, now are the rest of use going to be paying for his care for the rest of his life?

[Anonymous]

I’m always amazed at the people who think there are mythical institutions where people can send their special needs kids. There are very few places and the cost is astronomical. Your health insurance doesn’t pay. This is not a thing people have access to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious who pays for the child’s costs and therapy bills, etc. in this situation. Is Myka still financially responsible? She brought him here from China, now are the rest of use going to be paying for his care for the rest of his life?

Yes.

Which is why I would never adopt internationally. We already have enough kids who need help who are already here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m always amazed at the people who think there are mythical institutions where people can send their special needs kids. There are very few places and the cost is astronomical. Your health insurance doesn’t pay. This is not a thing people have access to.

x 1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious who pays for the child’s costs and therapy bills, etc. in this situation. Is Myka still financially responsible? She brought him here from China, now are the rest of use going to be paying for his care for the rest of his life?

Yes.

Which is why I would never adopt internationally. We already have enough kids who need help who are already here.

no she's done with him now

[Anonymous]

We are foster and adoptive parents.

I was not aware of who this person Myka is until I saw this thread but I watched a few of the videos and, well, now I know. All I can say is that she and her husband are absolutely disgusting.

Yet, as devastating as their actions are to him, I feel strongly that he is much better off not being associated with those two. I hope that he does well and thrives with his new family and I hope that they are people who know what the words "family" and "love" really mean.

I am actually a little sad that the birth children of this Myka person are still with her and her husband. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to have people like that as parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are foster and adoptive parents.

I was not aware of who this person Myka is until I saw this thread but I watched a few of the videos and, well, now I know. All I can say is that she and her husband are absolutely disgusting.

Yet, as devastating as their actions are to him, I feel strongly that he is much better off not being associated with those two. I hope that he does well and thrives with his new family and I hope that they are people who know what the words "family" and "love" really mean.

I am actually a little sad that the birth children of this Myka person are still with her and her husband. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to have people like that as parents.

I agree with everything you just said. The September and December video about did it for me.

[Anonymous]

You CAN do that with a biological child and its less common. This has been happening for many years and isn't anything new. I'm just surprised they were so public about it. Rehoming is a huge thing and usually pretty much underground so there is no accountability for the new families. Adopting an older child is a lot of work especially one from a different culture plus SN. They didn't want to put in the work. We adopted. We spent every day for years in therapies with our child. It was worth it all but we were committed and made it work.

But, lots of shady adoptions and rehoming going on. And, no one is holding these families accountable including the courts.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised they didn’t try to cocoon with him, that is big in adoption circles.

Moving and having a new baby soon after adopting are big no no’s in that community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are foster and adoptive parents.

I was not aware of who this person Myka is until I saw this thread but I watched a few of the videos and, well, now I know. All I can say is that she and her husband are absolutely disgusting.

Yet, as devastating as their actions are to him, I feel strongly that he is much better off not being associated with those two. I hope that he does well and thrives with his new family and I hope that they are people who know what the words "family" and "love" really mean.

I am actually a little sad that the birth children of this Myka person are still with her and her husband. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to have people like that as parents.

There are no laws and if anything the laws are set up to allow this kind of stuff. This isn't the first time its happened, not the last time. They are bloggers - they probably adopted for more video time vs. it was what they truly wanted nor did they really understand what it takes like you and I do. The Dad probably agreed to it all to or he would have done the right thing and left his wife and kept the child.