Do you think we will see a massive uptick in women choosing to stay home after this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you are a working mom, do you feel superior to SAHM moms? It's just something I have always wondered.

I have never been privileged enough to choose
Work is a necessity for me
If I had been raised in a slightly wealthier family and a happier home, it would be different as my whole outlook on life and opportunities would have been better
This is not just about having a man to live off

I worked damn hard, have been sidelined due to underprivileged background
I am still at lower middle class, but this is ok. It is much better than what I had growing up
Interestingly, nobody that I know now has had similar financial backgrounds. I find I am always trying to bridge a gap. This world is kind to some, not to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people realize how insane it is to forgo any secure salary and realize the pointlessness of being at home with your children versus having them in childcare. Zero difference in kid outcome.

It’s the day to day that matters, not the outcome. Hasn’t this recent event taught you anything? As cliches as it is to say, it’s also true: all that is guaranteed us is today. I’d rather spend my time at home with my kids and husband, taking care of my house and garden, feathering my nest so to speak, Pursuing my hobbies, then working to make some rich people slightly richer.

Lol wow someone take me out back and shoot me if I ever sound like this

I know. Sounds so freaking depressing.

What is so depressing about gardening and hobbies?

The point is, people on this web site are always so focused on what will get your kid into HYSP or a successful job. What if you don't care? Or you've already gotten that taken care of.

[Anonymous]

OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

[Anonymous]

I love my job. It’s my vocation. I love my child and spending every second I can with her.

I have never felt those two statements in conflict with each other.

No, SAH is not an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

actually yes. But I know the reality is that they have a superior childhood because my husband makes a lot of money. So that means private school, college is taken care of, we take them on fabulous vacations all over the world, they get private tennis, ski, swim, and music lessons, cool summer camps, all the tech they want, etc. And they have a mom at home who greets them at the door, runs them around to activities, hosts the play dates, volunteers in their schools, makes a home cooked meal every night, makes sure the house is nice and tidy, keeps on top of their homework schedules, etc.

I mean, yeah it's better. It's definitely better than what they had when I was working, which was a harried mom juggling too many balls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

A resounding NO. I’m not giving my kids anything that kids of two working parents don’t have.

But, I’m giving myself and my DH something: me, more time with my kids, and more space to care for myself, as I have a chronic medical issue that requires some extra attention. And for DH, the ability to focus on his work, and have our home and kids cared for.

But I hate that some WOH moms think SAH moms judge them. No, no, no. Not from me.

That’s the thing, it is usually the WOH moms that judge and criticize (emotionally unstable, small lives, etc.) . I’ve never really heard SAHM’s judge working parents. I don’t understand why we can’t just support each other’s choices. It’s not a one size fits all choice. You don’t really don’t know what you would do if your own situation changed and your husband tripled his salary or you had to travel 50 percent of the time to advance or your child has autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you are a working mom, do you feel superior to SAHM moms? It's just something I have always wondered.

I have never been privileged enough to choose
Work is a necessity for me
If I had been raised in a slightly wealthier family and a happier home, it would be different as my whole outlook on life and opportunities would have been better
This is not just about having a man to live off

I worked damn hard, have been sidelined due to underprivileged background
I am still at lower middle class, but this is ok. It is much better than what I had growing up
Interestingly, nobody that I know now has had similar financial backgrounds. I find I am always trying to bridge a gap. This world is kind to some, not to me

I could have written your post except for the last sentence. I worked hard but I also got lucky. And I am grateful and happy because of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

A resounding NO. I’m not giving my kids anything that kids of two working parents don’t have.

But, I’m giving myself and my DH something: me, more time with my kids, and more space to care for myself, as I have a chronic medical issue that requires some extra attention. And for DH, the ability to focus on his work, and have our home and kids cared for.

But I hate that some WOH moms think SAH moms judge them. No, no, no. Not from me.

That’s the thing, it is usually the WOH moms that judge and criticize (emotionally unstable, small lives, etc.) . I’ve never really heard SAHM’s judge working parents. I don’t understand why we can’t just support each other’s choices. It’s not a one size fits all choice. You don’t really don’t know what you would do if your own situation changed and your husband tripled his salary or you had to travel 50 percent of the time to advance or your child has autism?

I do. I would still WOH. I know that because it's exactly the choice I made when my husband's salary doubled into plenty to live comfortably on just his income. It's also the choice I make every day when I go to work in my job where I travel 3-4 times a month (in non-quarantined times). I work because I like working, I like what I do, I like having something in my life beyond just my family and my hobbies, I like having financial security and freedom, I like demonstrating to my kids that women and men both work and both raise kids.

And there's this - my husband was recently diagnosed with a serious chronic illness that's likely to lead to disability in the near future. You think it won't happen to you but it could. Same for divorce, btw, but I know that's something most SAHMs refuse to even remotely entertain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

I was being facetious, btw. I didn't expect anyone to take it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

A resounding NO. I’m not giving my kids anything that kids of two working parents don’t have.

But, I’m giving myself and my DH something: me, more time with my kids, and more space to care for myself, as I have a chronic medical issue that requires some extra attention. And for DH, the ability to focus on his work, and have our home and kids cared for.

But I hate that some WOH moms think SAH moms judge them. No, no, no. Not from me.

That’s the thing, it is usually the WOH moms that judge and criticize (emotionally unstable, small lives, etc.) . I’ve never really heard SAHM’s judge working parents. I don’t understand why we can’t just support each other’s choices. It’s not a one size fits all choice. You don’t really don’t know what you would do if your own situation changed and your husband tripled his salary or you had to travel 50 percent of the time to advance or your child has autism?

I do. I would still WOH. I know that because it's exactly the choice I made when my husband's salary doubled into plenty to live comfortably on just his income. It's also the choice I make every day when I go to work in my job where I travel 3-4 times a month (in non-quarantined times). I work because I like working, I like what I do, I like having something in my life beyond just my family and my hobbies, I like having financial security and freedom, I like demonstrating to my kids that women and men both work and both raise kids.

And there's this - my husband was recently diagnosed with a serious chronic illness that's likely to lead to disability in the near future. You think it won't happen to you but it could. Same for divorce, btw, but I know that's something most SAHMs refuse to even remotely entertain.

So when you’re traveling 3-4 times a month who takes care of your kids? Your partner doesn’t travel too? Do you see the issue when two people have careers that demand travel? Overnight nanny situations aren’t easy to come by.

How do you know that is something SAHMs don’t think about?.. many who have been doing so have only stopped working for a few years... many who plan to work again. It isn’t one sized fits all. Most women who stay home are educated with precious careers. While some employers wouldn’t be open to hiring a woman who left the workforce for 5 years, there are many that are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

Not at all. I easily see both sides. There are benefits and drawbacks to working or staying at home. It is also a very personal decision that depends on so many factors- partner’s career, their salary, how often they travel, special needs of the children, aging parents, flexibility of career options, how accessible family or emergency childcare is, preschool or childcare option, family budget, overall net worth, who the breadwinner is, long term goals, etc. I’m just shaking my head at working moms who feel superior. It is too bad women can’t just support women making the best choice for their own family.

Well said.
Why isn't *everyone* on board with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest Q, if you sah, do you feel your children have a superior childhood?

I was being facetious, btw. I didn't expect anyone to take it seriously.

It was a question on your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

Hi, I’m the pp you’re referring to!

I never said it was the money that makes me superior. I just can’t imagine feeling fulfilled in life doing...well nothing. I’m sure you get to travel and shop but you are kind of worthless (in my view).

Again I would never say this to your face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG I'm DYING at someone thinking they are superior to me because they make 210k.

Oh honey. Talk about having a small life! You don't even know that is not a lot of money.

I feel sad for her.

Ok I wouldn't have said it like this because it's mean but yes. I cringed at that too.

Hi, I’m the pp you’re referring to!

I never said it was the money that makes me superior. I just can’t imagine feeling fulfilled in life doing...well nothing. I’m sure you get to travel and shop but you are kind of worthless (in my view).

Again I would never say this to your face.

Sorry I should t have said worthless. You’re worth the $50k a year I pay for childcare.