Have you ever been called ugly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother didn't call me ugly per se, but she did tell me I had a "blue collar" face and didn't fit in with the girls at my private school because of it. She came from a very working class background and I suspect was insecure about it. Also never missed an opportunity to comment on my weight.

I don't even know what this means unless you had blacked out teeth or something.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

A photographer said she could take my photo when I didn't look as ugly. At the time, I had a small rash on my face.

Pretty mean thing to say.

Usually, people have said I am pretty, and that has always made me uncomfortable. I'm getting older so I imagine those positive comments will come to a natural end at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, by my mom when I was a teenager. Still insecure and I’m 50.

My mom told me that I'd have to work on my brains because my looks wouldn't get me far.

epiphany decades later - discovered Mom's a raging narcissist with no soul

Similar here. My mother has never said I'm beautiful or pretty yet others have...to her credit, I guess, she at least never called me ugly to my face.

[Anonymous]

Also had a mother who critiqued my sister's and me .... If I gained a bit of weight she said lose it, if I lost she said my skinny face made my nose look bigger and I was too skinny. It sucked. Only when I left the house and I worked on myself in therapy did it change. I could never take in the positive words of outsiders, such as friends, men or strangers saying I was very pretty. It was hard to square. She must have viewed us as extensions of herself and hated herself on some level. It's a very painful thing when your mother is never pleased...Until you realize it truly is her. But that takes work too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literally my entire childhood, and throughout my adulthood though less aggressively.

One time when my brother was delivering newspapers, a neighborhood boy in my grade gave my brother a dog biscuit to give me. Because I was a dog. I always dreaded Halloween because all through October I'd get told "Hey, take off your scary mask - it's not Halloween yet" and then on Halloween "wow you don't even need a mask to look terrifying" and all through November "Halloween ended - take off your mask already." One time someone (still don't know who) poured an entire aluminum pan of Elmer's glue over my head in class, and the class promptly took a poll of "Who thinks Lauren looks better with the glue covering her up?" and everyone raised their hands. As an adult, at work, two coworker and I were talking about marriage and one of them said "Well, obviously YOU'LL never be able to get married..."

I could go on and on.

I wrote the above, and I thought of a couple more things. One happened 3 or 4 years ago at work - I worked closely with a partner. The section leader of the section we worked in didn't seem to like me - he was also a partner. So one day when I was in a conference room with "my" partner and the section leader's name came up I said, "I get the impression Doug doesn't like me - have you gotten any feedback from him that I've done something wrong?" and the partner promptly (tactlessly) told me Doug only likes pretty women.

My mother always gave me really bad fashion advice - like that I should brush my hair more (I have frizzy/curly hair - if brushed it puffs out even more). And she always implied I was fat. She would constantly tell me to tuck my tailbone under and one day as a teenager I just snapped and said, "This is just how big my ass is!" At one point I had a retail job where we had to wear a hat. I was leaving for work with the hat on and my braid pulled through the hole in the back, and my mother told me my hair looked like a log of shit. I asked her "Why would you say that when I'm literally 8 feet from walking out the door?"

[Anonymous]

A boy in grade 9 (he was a year older) told me looking at me was the same effect as cold water.

It was horrible. My family was poor, I had some bad acne, shiny skin, a short bang I attempted but couldn't pull off, but it was so awful feeling especially with so many others around.

Lots of kids tell me I'm beautiful as so others. Usually I can believe the kids but I still struggle.

FWIW he's an alcoholic now and had baby teeth and failed grade 9 back then, a rough life in general, but wow did his words ever hurt. I was a nice person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, by my mom when I was a teenager. Still insecure and I’m 50.

My mom told me that I'd have to work on my brains because my looks wouldn't get me far.

epiphany decades later - discovered Mom's a raging narcissist with no soul

My mother told me (among many other things...), "Your problem is that you're too intelligent. Boys don't like that." She's also a raging narcissist with no soul (who feels sorry for herself because we are estranged).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I first was called “ugly” by both of my parents.

When I was in Fourth Grade, I excitedly told my Mom that I “finally” knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a flight attendant.

Immediately that dream turned to stone as she immediately responded back, “Flight attendants need to be pretty + smart and sorry you are neither.” 😢

Agree that this must've been a long time ago. Flight attendants are usually super average now. Also, smart? It has only ever required a high school diploma lol.

Good for you for focusing on the most important points of the post. Why do you feel the need to post this? It's irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I was told by my grandfather: "you'll always be flat chested if you don't stand up straight", and he told me to brush my teeth every time he saw me because they looked dirty. They were not very white naturally, but they weren't dirty.

[Anonymous]

Constantly by all the boys and some girls growing up. I was always one of the tallest girls. I had horrible thick glasses and braces with a headgear. I’m not attractive but I am smart so I ended up rich. The pretty kids who picked on me are fat, ugly, and poor now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Constantly by all the boys and some girls growing up. I was always one of the tallest girls. I had horrible thick glasses and braces with a headgear. I’m not attractive but I am smart so I ended up rich. The pretty kids who picked on me are fat, ugly, and poor now.

Whatever . I was the hot stupid girl, now the hot rich girl. Not to mention no student loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Constantly by all the boys and some girls growing up. I was always one of the tallest girls. I had horrible thick glasses and braces with a headgear. I’m not attractive but I am smart so I ended up rich. The pretty kids who picked on me are fat, ugly, and poor now.

Whatever . I was the hot stupid girl, now the hot rich girl. Not to mention no student loans.

What.

[Anonymous]

Just once before I die, I wish someone would say I am pretty.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been called ugly plenty of times by people who don’t matter (friends of friends, distant relatives) but never by someone who I loved/trusted/value the opinion of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been called ugly plenty of times by people who don’t matter (friends of friends, distant relatives) but never by someone who I loved/trusted/value the opinion of

But those people you love would never hurt you like that .