Lactivists are just mean girls all grown up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

That's so interesting considering my friend who breastfed for a year has one of the sickest kids I have ever known. He has severe asthma. I bet if he was formula fed you would blame the formula huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

Effect sizes matter. If women, and lactation consultants by the way, were informed about the actual size of the risk reduction, which is not large, we would not be seeing women being shamed, as OP's friend was, for wanting to feed their hungry babies with formula, because people would realize how utterly absurd that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

What that means on a widespread scale is very different than what it means on an individual level. It’s fine to say that it’s better for women to breastfeed if they can, but that doesn’t mean each individual woman should be shamed if it doesn’t work for her or her baby. Fed really is best, and for any individual mother/child combo, the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding are incremental. If breastfeeding isn’t working, she should be assured that formula feeding is a fine substitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There’s an obvious difference between putting you down,
and sharing science.

Oh you think the nurse who talked to ops friend was sharing science?

Please go eat something and have a glass of water. Take a deep breath and count to four.

Do I seem angry to you? You seem angry to me. Maybe take your own advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There’s an obvious difference between putting you down,
and sharing science.

Oh you think the nurse who talked to ops friend was sharing science?

Please go eat something and have a glass of water. Take a deep breath and count to four.

Do I seem angry to you? You seem angry to me. Maybe take your own advice

Nope. I’m chillin. The “oh you” is super hostile though...also you’re responding to multiple folx.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

You are making this crap up. Like you said, no one knows. Many FF kids are very healthy. Many BF kids are very healthy. Many FF kids get sick. Many BF kids get sick. It is not superior. You also forget to factor in things like alcohol, medications and poor diet of the mother.

[Anonymous]

OP your story is both horrifying and I suspect is repeated on a daily basis in hospitals across the country. Good for you for standing up for your friend.

[Anonymous]

Formula is better than breast milk if formula works better for the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

You are making this crap up. Like you said, no one knows. Many FF kids are very healthy. Many BF kids are very healthy. Many FF kids get sick. Many BF kids get sick. It is not superior. You also forget to factor in things like alcohol, medications and poor diet of the mother.

I agree it's not superior. Studies have been flawed in terms of "Breast is best" and too much miss information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There’s an obvious difference between putting you down,
and sharing science.

Oh you think the nurse who talked to ops friend was sharing science?

Please go eat something and have a glass of water. Take a deep breath and count to four.

Do I seem angry to you? You seem angry to me. Maybe take your own advice

Nope. I’m chillin. The “oh you” is super hostile though...also you’re responding to multiple folx.

Im the oh you poster and im the pp. I don't think I'm super hostile. More sarcastically dismissive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

You are making this crap up. Like you said, no one knows. Many FF kids are very healthy. Many BF kids are very healthy. Many FF kids get sick. Many BF kids get sick. It is not superior. You also forget to factor in things like alcohol, medications and poor diet of the mother.

I agree it's not superior. Studies have been flawed in terms of "Breast is best" and too much miss information.

Yes and no one ever talks about the negative effects a miserable mom has on an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that is an awful story and I'm glad you and her husband were able to manage the situation. Having said that, there are plenty of lactation consultants who are nothing like that so please be careful how you generalize.

OP here. I’m sorry. I know there must be some good ones but I’m just still fuming. I literally can’t believe what was said to her had I know heard it with my own ears. And this isn’t the first friend who has dealt with this. Just the worst episode. I’m so disgusted this literal nobody swiped at a woman who is an Ivy educated, strong, incredible woman who would give a complete stranger the shirt off her back. Hence my assertion that this consultant was just a meanie trying to level the playing field. I hope you’ll forgive my anger.

I'm PP. I did reread your first post and saw that you said not everyone is like that, so I was mistaken myself that you were generalizing, and for that I apologize.

If you are still looking for resources to help your friend, I found that the Breastfeeding Center in DC was a helpful place. My baby had a ton of latch issues and we paid for a private consultation. I didn't end up doing direct breastfeeding- I exclusively pumped for a year, and had EVERYONE - FF and BF alike- telling me I was crazy for trying it. But I found the consultant empathetic and encouraging and not at all anti-formula.

I hope your friend and baby are well, and I am sorry she had quite a rude and abrupt intro into the mommy wars.

[Anonymous]

So I feel like the lactation consultant is only part of the issue here. How did the nurses not know what to do? When my baby wouldn’t latch they taught me how to hand express, set me up with a pump, and talked about supplementing with formula (ended up not being necessary for me). I’d be complaining if they had just shrugged off a baby not being able to eat. It’s not like latch issues are uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

That's so interesting considering my friend who breastfed for a year has one of the sickest kids I have ever known. He has severe asthma. I bet if he was formula fed you would blame the formula huh?

I have an aunt who smoked a pack a day and lived to be 100. What’s your point? No one is saying that FF kids can’t be healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby, but I’m so sick of the “fed is best” nonsense. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. It just is. This is a scientific fact. The benefits may be overstated at times, but it is an undeniable FACT that there are benefits.

And yet, somehow, nobody can tell which people were breastfed and which were formula fed. Because despite the "undeniable FACT" you refer to, it doesn't make a real difference on an individual level. When people say fed is best, they are saying the most important thing is to feed your baby.

Babies have starved because their mothers were told to "just keep nursing". And that unfortunately is a fact that actually matters.

Nonsense. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain adverse physical outcomes. While we can not identify which formula fed babies suffering from those conditions wouldn’t have suffered if they had been breastfed, we know with certainly that some of those babies wouldn’t have been affected if they had been breastfed. Again, I don’t care what you do, but at least have the intellectual honesty to acknowledge that breastmilk is nutritionally superior.

You are making this crap up. Like you said, no one knows. Many FF kids are very healthy. Many BF kids are very healthy. Many FF kids get sick. Many BF kids get sick. It is not superior. You also forget to factor in things like alcohol, medications and poor diet of the mother.

It is superior. And your last sentence is so dumb I don’t even know what to say. “You forgot the confounding variables!”

Yes, of course other things make a difference. And a woman who drinks five drinks a day while pregnant and then breastfeeds will probable have a worse outcome than a woman who doesn’t drink and FFs. That doesn’t change the simple fact that everything else being equal, breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula.