Just tell me straight- is the uninvited sibling you are bringing to the party going to take a favor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Chicago, where I live, the whole family is invited to parties unless they are drop off parties. I have never once seen it done any other way. Anyone can go to parties, and they are often focused on whole families, like grandparents and such too.

I cannot imagine a scenario where every child does not get a favor, like if they’re labeled for the ‘invited’ kid. In OP’s case I’d buy more cookies (not custom, but nice) and make the cookies be a mixed offering.

Imagine single parents. Parents where one partner is ill or out of town. Parents with an infant who is pretty easy to drag along. Be kind and inclusive.

^^Must be mid-western thing b/c I'm from Chicago too and that's what I would do. Just be kind

Well here in DC people have small homes and do parties at venues that cap the amount of kids. So it’s not always possible to invite all the kids. I’m not paying to entertain your whole family at the expense of people we actually know and want to invite. Rude.

I'm from Chicago but live in DC now and have for many years and that's false that people in DC have small homes.

[Anonymous]

A host should always be gracious and welcoming and accommodating. Maybe you just shouldn’t host birthday parties, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how many extra kids are showing up uninvited? I can't imagine it's a lot and thus should not be a huge inconvenience to you. You are making a bigger deal than it is.

+100000

The custom cookies. The dramatic post. It’s all just way too much. Find something else to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A host should always be gracious and welcoming and accommodating. Maybe you just shouldn’t host birthday parties, OP?

That doesn’t mean they have to host a bunch of people they don’t want. Unbelievable entitlement from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A host should always be gracious and welcoming and accommodating. Maybe you just shouldn’t host birthday parties, OP?

That doesn’t mean they have to host a bunch of people they don’t want. Unbelievable entitlement from you.

Entitlement? It's a child's birthday party--please use that work correctly FFS.

[Anonymous]

We always explicitly invite siblings to parties. We intentionally host at a park or other venue with no limit. That said, the “favors” tend to be contents of the pinata, the little cupcake toppers, etc. Or things that are cheap & easy to buy lots of, like Harry Potter wands.

I’ve had to bring along my older child to preschool age child’s parties when DH had to work. The plan was always for him to sit and read a book, but the hosts have always insisted on including him and giving him a favor (even when we try to refuse).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m stunned by the amount of folks planning to bring siblings to DD’s birthday. I had special favors ordered and don’t have enough. Am I supposed to provide them for siblings too? Do you as the parent let your child take a favor? I think I’ll have to be proactive and order more, right?

It sounds like you’re annoyed sibs are coming, but weren’t able to assert yourself to refuse sibs, and you kind of resent having to change your party planning by ordering more cookies.

I’m sorry, but I think it would be passive aggressive behavior to not order more cookies or get a $2 box of Oreos from the store. Don’t take it out on the kids just because you can’t assert yourself with their moms (or dads).

Buy some Oreos and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this is op- I’m just flummoxed. This is my one and only kid and first big birthday and I didn’t know people just RSVPd for siblings without checking. I doubled the pizza and cake but stupid me I had custom favors.

Wait, people actually do this? When has that ever been acceptable? How are pepople so dense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a big deal and I'm always against siblings just coming. If you have an edible favor, just buy an extra box of cookies. YOU care that they are matching and "tasty" and special cookies, but kids won't.

This. Honestly the expensive custom decorated cookies taste like crap. Just get a tray of cookies from the bakery section that are decorated. Any grocery store bakery has them. And you don’t have to order advance.

Ha really? My kid brought one home and that’s where I fit the idea. It was delicious. I ate it!

I know that what you thought. Hence the bolded.

The kid didn’t eat it - YOU did. Kids love cookies but they consider cookies, just cookies. Give some a fancy one and others 2-3 Oreos. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this is op- I’m just flummoxed. This is my one and only kid and first big birthday and I didn’t know people just RSVPd for siblings without checking. I doubled the pizza and cake but stupid me I had custom favors.

Wait, people actually do this? When has that ever been acceptable? How are pepople so dense?

Because these parties are typically for three and four year olds. At one and two, birthday parties only include friends and family, so the whole family is invited. And even at three and four, many parties are meant for the whole family. Some are home parties, but some take place at kid venues where the kids are entertained while the parents socialize. By five, most parties are drop off or drop off optional.

People shouldn’t have to call the host and check to see who is invited to the party. Just be explicit in the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Names go on the favors for the invited siblings. Tell the uninvited ones they can share -- and watch the fireworks begin!

[Anonymous]

There should be one favor for uninvited siblings and they should be made to go full on Hunger Games to claim it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes you'll need to either tell people no siblings or order more favors. Once a kid is there it takes a special kind of person to take a cookie out of their hands and say "you weren't invited, were you, Larlo's brother?"

I would do it in a heartbeat. Nicely, though. "Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart, I only ordered enough for the kids who got invites. You can take another piece of cake home though." Sorry, bringing uninvited siblings is tacky, low-rent behavior, regardless of your income bracket. If your kid is upset, that's your problem. I'll sleep like a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There should be one favor for uninvited siblings and they should be made to go full on Hunger Games to claim it.

[Anonymous]

OP, give us an update after all this drama. What did you end up doing?