Parents are NOT notified by the college if the child gets in trouble, e.g. drugs, alcohol in dorm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell there are a few single and/or childless and bitter 30, 40 and 50-somethings in this thread.

You can tell there are a few people unfamiliar with the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) in this thread.

FERPA does not protect your snowflake from somebody calling and saying she is off the tracks.

I'm confused are you advocating that schools be more forthcoming or arguing that parents need to perhaps do more due diligence in deciding what school they send their kids to?

I mean the "I'm paying for it" argument is pretty prevalent here so I'm wondering why don't mommy and daddy pay for their kid to go to a school that's meets their communication criteria?
Folks on here acting like somebody is MAKING their kid go to a school that is doesn't tell them when little Johnny is showing up to classes drunk.
No, you have a choice mommy and daddy send Johnny to someplace that will alert you if he so much as fails to flush the toilet if that's what you need to get a peaceful nights sleep.
After all..."You're paying for it!"

Because there is no school, small LAC or not, that is calling parents to inform that that their kid is screwing up in the typical ways 18-22 year olds let loose at college do. The small LACs are more likely to have a person who will ask the kid what's going on with them, and urge them to seek counseling or help from the student health center. But they will not call parents unless a student allows them to. Best you will get is a school employee urging your kid to call you.

I'm guessing OP is a troll, or just dropped Larla off at college where they gave parents the 'they are 18 and we can't talk to you' lecture as part of family orientation and didn't realize that's how it is now.

[Anonymous]

It’s funny to read the work comparison. I have to fill out pretty detailed expense reports for 50$ lunches and 1000$ flights. Performance reviews are extremely detailed. Colleges in comparison provide zero to parents who write 25,000 to 75,000$ cheques.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can tell there are a few single and/or childless and bitter 30, 40 and 50-somethings in this thread.

You can tell there are a few people unfamiliar with the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) in this thread.

FERPA does not protect your snowflake from somebody calling and saying she is off the tracks.

I'm confused are you advocating that schools be more forthcoming or arguing that parents need to perhaps do more due diligence in deciding what school they send their kids to?

I mean the "I'm paying for it" argument is pretty prevalent here so I'm wondering why don't mommy and daddy pay for their kid to go to a school that's meets their communication criteria?
Folks on here acting like somebody is MAKING their kid go to a school that is doesn't tell them when little Johnny is showing up to classes drunk.
No, you have a choice mommy and daddy send Johnny to someplace that will alert you if he so much as fails to flush the toilet if that's what you need to get a peaceful nights sleep.
After all..."You're paying for it!"

Because there is no school, small LAC or not, that is calling parents to inform that that their kid is screwing up in the typical ways 18-22 year olds let loose at college do. The small LACs are more likely to have a person who will ask the kid what's going on with them, and urge them to seek counseling or help from the student health center. But they will not call parents unless a student allows them to. Best you will get is a school employee urging your kid to call you.

I'm guessing OP is a troll, or just dropped Larla off at college where they gave parents the 'they are 18 and we can't talk to you' lecture as part of family orientation and didn't realize that's how it is now.

Say that again for the folks in the back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny to read the work comparison. I have to fill out pretty detailed expense reports for 50$ lunches and 1000$ flights. Performance reviews are extremely detailed. Colleges in comparison provide zero to parents who write 25,000 to 75,000$ cheques.

Professors provide students with feedback on their work. If the student is successful in meeting the requirements for a degree, the university will provide the student with a valuable credential in the form of a diploma. But the agreement is between the student and the college.

How the services a college provides is up to the student. And it is up to the student and whomever his funder is to determine what kind of reporting relationship they wish to have (since we're making business analogies). Whether you give your child $50 or $50,000 toward tuition and living expenses makes no difference.

[Anonymous]

So many tailgate state alum “experts” in this thread speaking to how SLACs and Ivies work. You literally zero clue. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

So many tailgate state alum “experts” in this thread speaking to how SLACs and Ivies work. You literally have zero clue. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Even Brigham Young and Liberty follow FERPA and HIPAA, and do not give parents information without student permission.

Hillsdale College accepts no federal funding (not even federally subsidized student loans) and is exempt from FERPA. Send your child there if you want to be in their business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine what the guys from the Greatest Generation would think of todays helicoptering parents. The 18 year
olds from the Greatest Generation went off to fight World War II. I have to think these brave men would think the parents
of today very soft.

I'm thankful my parents raised me and my siblings to function
on our own.

Hello dumbass... soldiers in WW2 were on average 26 years old.

you're thinking of Vietnam... and we know how well that went.

My parents are children of the greatest generation. When they went to college in the mid 60s the women's dorms had visitation hours, no men allowed after certain time, dorm matrons who looked after the female students. And yes, parents would have been called if something went wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine what the guys from the Greatest Generation would think of todays helicoptering parents. The 18 year
olds from the Greatest Generation went off to fight World War II. I have to think these brave men would think the parents
of today very soft.

I'm thankful my parents raised me and my siblings to function
on our own.

Hello dumbass... soldiers in WW2 were on average 26 years old.

you're thinking of Vietnam... and we know how well that went.

My parents are children of the greatest generation. When they went to college in the mid 60s the women's dorms had visitation hours, no men allowed after certain time, dorm matrons who looked after the female students. And yes, parents would have been called if something went wrong.

FFS. Do you really want to go back to the 1960s? Despite those rules and "safeguards," plenty of stuents drank, smoked, had sex, got pregnant and married before graduating. The were secretive and parents weren't generally called.

Women also couldn't get a credit card in their name, could be fired for getting pregnant, couldn't serve on a jury and more.

If you want to send your kdis to a school that will tell you whatever you want to know -- HIllsdale's your place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My parents are children of the greatest generation. When they went to college in the mid 60s the women's dorms had visitation hours, no men allowed after certain time, dorm matrons who looked after the female students. And yes, parents would have been called if something went wrong.

Excellent point. Further, 4-year college was less than $500 per year in the 60s. Now the cheapest 4-year tuition is over $10,000 highest is over $50,000 per year!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even Brigham Young and Liberty follow FERPA and HIPAA, and do not give parents information without student permission.

Hillsdale College accepts no federal funding (not even federally subsidized student loans) and is exempt from FERPA. Send your child there if you want to be in their business.

Hillsdale is actually an excellent school -- but it's hardly the only college that will notify parents of issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine what the guys from the Greatest Generation would think of todays helicoptering parents. The 18 year
olds from the Greatest Generation went off to fight World War II. I have to think these brave men would think the parents
of today very soft.

I'm thankful my parents raised me and my siblings to function
on our own.

Hello dumbass... soldiers in WW2 were on average 26 years old.

you're thinking of Vietnam... and we know how well that went.

My parents are children of the greatest generation. When they went to college in the mid 60s the women's dorms had visitation hours, no men allowed after certain time, dorm matrons who looked after the female students. And yes, parents would have been called if something went wrong.

FFS. Do you really want to go back to the 1960s? Despite those rules and "safeguards," plenty of stuents drank, smoked, had sex, got pregnant and married before graduating. The were secretive and parents weren't generally called.

Women also couldn't get a credit card in their name, could be fired for getting pregnant, couldn't serve on a jury and more.

If you want to send your kdis to a school that will tell you whatever you want to know -- HIllsdale's your place.

I only pointed out the irony of praising the Greatest Generation when they did plenty of helicoptering of their own. There were many rules for children and college students in the 1950s and 1960s. And the Greatest Generation was also the generation that fled to the suburbs because they didn't want their children going to school with poor or minority kids.

As for your comment on Hillsdale, I believe that must have been directed to someone else.

[Anonymous]

The biggest point for me is that the schools are the logical origin for calls to be made since the schools will be contacted by police/hospitals/etc.

While our children have lots of friends, I can't think of many of those friends who have our contact information. Not because it is private but because it just isn't something you share, like "Hey, you're in my calc class aren't you? We're heading over to the SAE house for the party. Wanna come? Great. Let me text you my parents' contact information just in case there is a problem and you need to call them." That is weird.

OTH, in the category of the best defense is a strong offense, to be sure that our kids get our help and resources if they need them I am going to suggest that they give our cell phone numbers and email addresses to 10 or 20 friends. I'll suggest that they give their friends permission to contact us if they (our kid/s) gets in trouble or is hurt. If the info never gets used then no harm no foul but if there is a problem and our kid/s can't call then someone else will have their back so we can help if they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny to read the work comparison. I have to fill out pretty detailed expense reports for 50$ lunches and 1000$ flights. Performance reviews are extremely detailed. Colleges in comparison provide zero to parents who write 25,000 to 75,000$ cheques.

"75,000$ cheques"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest point for me is that the schools are the logical origin for calls to be made since the schools will be contacted by police/hospitals/etc.

While our children have lots of friends, I can't think of many of those friends who have our contact information. Not because it is private but because it just isn't something you share, like "Hey, you're in my calc class aren't you? We're heading over to the SAE house for the party. Wanna come? Great. Let me text you my parents' contact information just in case there is a problem and you need to call them." That is weird.

OTH, in the category of the best defense is a strong offense, to be sure that our kids get our help and resources if they need them I am going to suggest that they give our cell phone numbers and email addresses to 10 or 20 friends. I'll suggest that they give their friends permission to contact us if they (our kid/s) gets in trouble or is hurt. If the info never gets used then no harm no foul but if there is a problem and our kid/s can't call then someone else will have their back so we can help if they need it.

Your frat party scenario is weird. How about roommates or friends exchange texts to let each other know where they are headed. If someone doesn’t show the other person goes looking.