Parents are NOT notified by the college if the child gets in trouble, e.g. drugs, alcohol in dorm?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:college isn't a daycare. I know some of you still treat your college age children like they are toddlers.

either is your work, but they call family when you go to the hospital.

Babe, ***the hospital staff do call your family when you go to the hospital, if you are listed as the emergency contact, and either your child says 'yes, notify,' or your child is incapacitated.***

It's not the university's place to make that call, because they don't have the medical authority to do so, the way the hospital does.

I know you really, really want to blame universities for the LEGAL LANDSCAPE, but that's pretty fruitless.

The University is not a doctor, the doctor can not tell you why your child is there... but anybody and their mother can call you and say.... your child is on the way to the hospital.

I don't really, really, really want anything.

I think in a civil society, when somebody is taken to the hospital a family member is called.

My son had a boy shadow him at college and the boy had to go to the hospital, my son accompanied him and he called the coach and the coach called the parents and an adult went to the hospital ... even though he was 18 because we live in a civil society.

I don't think you understand the laws because you keep throwing them out incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:college isn't a daycare. I know some of you still treat your college age children like they are toddlers.

either is your work, but they call family when you go to the hospital.

Babe, ***the hospital staff do call your family when you go to the hospital, if you are listed as the emergency contact, and either your child says 'yes, notify,' or your child is incapacitated.***

It's not the university's place to make that call, because they don't have the medical authority to do so, the way the hospital does.

I know you really, really want to blame universities for the LEGAL LANDSCAPE, but that's pretty fruitless.

The University is not a doctor, the doctor can not tell you why your child is there... but anybody and their mother can call you and say.... your child is on the way to the hospital.

I don't really, really, really want anything.

I think in a civil society, when somebody is taken to the hospital a family member is called.

My son had a boy shadow him at college and the boy had to go to the hospital, my son accompanied him and he called the coach and the coach called the parents and an adult went to the hospital ... even though he was 18 because we live in a civil society.

I don't think you understand the laws because you keep throwing them out incorrectly.

What don't you get about this? YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED IF YOU ARE LISTED AS THE EMERGENCY CONTACT; YES, BY THE UNIVERSITY. That was never a question!

BUT the thing you people can't seem to understand is...*your son or daughter does not HAVE to list their PARENTS as the emergency contact.* And if they are up and awake and coherent, they can say, "Do not notify my emergency contact." If they are incapacitated, or they say yes contact my emergency contact, then you get the call. Yes, by the university.

But the university isn't going to pick up the phone just because you're the parents. If your son or daughter listed their elder sibling as the emergency contact, that's who is going to get the call, again only if they say "yes, contact my emergency contact" or are incapacitated.

[Anonymous]

I think it is pretty clear that this thread is being utilized by a troll for him or her to get their jollies. The number of negative responses, the tone of such and the writing style is very similar. Sweetie, go to the library and start studying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:college isn't a daycare. I know some of you still treat your college age children like they are toddlers.

either is your work, but they call family when you go to the hospital.

Babe, ***the hospital staff do call your family when you go to the hospital, if you are listed as the emergency contact, and either your child says 'yes, notify,' or your child is incapacitated.***

It's not the university's place to make that call, because they don't have the medical authority to do so, the way the hospital does.

I know you really, really want to blame universities for the LEGAL LANDSCAPE, but that's pretty fruitless.

The University is not a doctor, the doctor can not tell you why your child is there... but anybody and their mother can call you and say.... your child is on the way to the hospital.

I don't really, really, really want anything.

I think in a civil society, when somebody is taken to the hospital a family member is called.

My son had a boy shadow him at college and the boy had to go to the hospital, my son accompanied him and he called the coach and the coach called the parents and an adult went to the hospital ... even though he was 18 because we live in a civil society.

I don't think you understand the laws because you keep throwing them out incorrectly.

What don't you get about this? YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED IF YOU ARE LISTED AS THE EMERGENCY CONTACT; YES, BY THE UNIVERSITY. That was never a question!

BUT the thing you people can't seem to understand is...*your son or daughter does not HAVE to list their PARENTS as the emergency contact.* And if they are up and awake and coherent, they can say, "Do not notify my emergency contact." If they are incapacitated, or they say yes contact my emergency contact, then you get the call. Yes, by the university.

But the university isn't going to pick up the phone just because you're the parents. If your son or daughter listed their elder sibling as the emergency contact, that's who is going to get the call, again only if they say "yes, contact my emergency contact" or are incapacitated.

Agreed. Who is the emergency contact is up to the student. I would have put my brother. But there should be some way to contact somebody when certain over the top dangerous and possibly mentally unstable things happen.

I don't think it should be determined at the time though. I would have a it determined before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is pretty clear that this thread is being utilized by a troll for him or her to get their jollies. The number of negative responses, the tone of such and the writing style is very similar. Sweetie, go to the library and start studying!

Agreed. Some angry (who knows why) person is clearly obsessed with this topic. Fully confident she doesn't have any kids of her own.

[Anonymous]

Higher education used to operate legally “in loco parents,” and laws changed starting in the ‘60s such that they now do not. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_loco_parentis

[Anonymous]

“In loco parentis,” sorry

But “loco parents” was funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay for 100% of everything, yet the college won't warn parents about alarming behavior issues? The only way you know if your child is out of control is if they end up in the hospital or in police custody (and they choose to call you for bailout?), i.e. rock bottom? I understand there is a waiver or something, but shouldn't the default be parents are immediately informed of things like this?

This is totally outrageous. Why send your kid far away from home into a den full of lions? These places are getting very wealthy off the backs of uninformed families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Higher education used to operate legally “in loco parents,” and laws changed starting in the ‘60s such that they now do not. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_loco_parentis

Baby boomers protested parental involvement back in the day.
If your child ends up in the hospital, arrested, or very ill you will hear from whatever authority. If you kid goes to a small private college, it's more likely you will hear from the college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So at what age should an institution of higher education cut the cord for the parents who are too clingy to do it themselves or who were too lax in preparing their child for adulthood?

You don’t think the college should tell parents your 18 yo freshman was popped for drugs or drinking or found passed out in a hallway? What about passed out 3 times? What about rapes? You prefer they control everything—because when they control KIDS they have a track record of doing what’s best for the U, not your kid.

NP. That last sentence is important. Colleges have an interest in covering themselves if something goes wrong. The "your student is an adult" line, while absolutely true legally, also gives colleges some cover when parents later find out about problems. Look up a DCUM thread from last year or early this year about the truly awful situation (dad moved into daughter's dorm and horrible consequences followed) at Sarah Lawrence College several years ago. Those young "adults" we're not at all prepared to handle that, and parents were blown off when they tried to get attention for the problem....Thst case was extreme, yes. But it shows how colleges won't intervene sometimes even when a situation raises every red flag to any parent with eyes.

OMG. I didn’t read the thread, but found “The Cut” and NYMag articles about it.

[Anonymous]

For all that cash, parents must DEMAND better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For all that cash, parents must DEMAND better.

But you know you have to take your demands to your elected officials because your issue is with the law. Or do you think colleges should just ignore laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For all that cash, parents must DEMAND better.

But you know you have to take your demands to your elected officials because your issue is with the law. Or do you think colleges should just ignore laws?

While you’re at it, why not make the age of majority 25?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For all that cash, parents must DEMAND better.

LOL.

Your student isn't required to live in on-campus housing, dummy. Like any other rental residence, you have to abide by the rules of that residence if you want to live there. You. Don't. Have. To. If the rules don't work for you, secure housing elsewhere.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you pay for a hotel for your 18 year old during spring break, and they spend the week carousing drunk, you don’t expect the hotel to call you and tell you just because you paid for it.

I would bet dollars to donuts the OP’s kids went to private high schools and they as parents are used to the concierge level of hand-holding they provide for their tuition. But that’s not what colleges do with your tuition.