This is what class rage feels like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still feel rage for my now grown children. One was kicked off the crew team at a regatta, supposedly because parents didn't feel "safe" with him being coxswain at the meet. (the skull had capsized once when they hit a log in practice, not unusual). In truth, another influential parent wanted their son to be coxswain.
My daughter was eliminated from DI team just before their trip to national trials, because wealthier family had joined the team late.
A friend's child was asked to leave scout troop because wealthy SAHMs didn't have room in mini van for her son.
All of these are cases of wealthy, entitled families basically ambushing a child who had participated fully because their friends wanted a spot. The crushing impact on self confidence and esteem was pretty awful to see. I'm still angry at myself for not being more insistent on their behalf, but not sure what I could have done.

This is terrible, PP. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I know you will. Because you value these THINGS rather than inner strength and fortitude. Thanks for proving my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still feel rage for my now grown children. One was kicked off the crew team at a regatta, supposedly because parents didn't feel "safe" with him being coxswain at the meet. (the skull had capsized once when they hit a log in practice, not unusual). In truth, another influential parent wanted their son to be coxswain.
My daughter was eliminated from DI team just before their trip to national trials, because wealthier family had joined the team late.
A friend's child was asked to leave scout troop because wealthy SAHMs didn't have room in mini van for her son.
All of these are cases of wealthy, entitled families basically ambushing a child who had participated fully because their friends wanted a spot. The crushing impact on self confidence and esteem was pretty awful to see. I'm still angry at myself for not being more insistent on their behalf, but not sure what I could have done.

This is terrible, PP. I'm sorry.

This all may very well be very true. And it also may be a parent who refuses to accept that her kids weren't quite up to snuff, and constantly makes excuses for them. We'll never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I know you will. Because you value these THINGS rather than inner strength and fortitude. Thanks for proving my point.

I'm unclear on what you're suggesting - you think I should forego these things in order to develop inner fortitude? You think I should feel bad about them? You want me to feel insecure about myself, like you are better than I am?

That's quite the chip you have on your shoulder there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I know you will. Because you value these THINGS rather than inner strength and fortitude. Thanks for proving my point.

I'm unclear on what you're suggesting - you think I should forego these things in order to develop inner fortitude? You think I should feel bad about them? You want me to feel insecure about myself, like you are better than I am?

That's quite the chip you have on your shoulder there.

Your parents raised you to believe those were the end-all and be-all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I know you will. Because you value these THINGS rather than inner strength and fortitude. Thanks for proving my point.

It's really funny - you characterize this as feeling superior, but the way it's written it's crystal clear that it comes, as the first PP said, from a place of deep insecurity. You really shouldn't feel that way. I don't feel like I'm better than you because my parents have money. Luckier, perhaps, but not better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I know you will. Because you value these THINGS rather than inner strength and fortitude. Thanks for proving my point.

I'm unclear on what you're suggesting - you think I should forego these things in order to develop inner fortitude? You think I should feel bad about them? You want me to feel insecure about myself, like you are better than I am?

That's quite the chip you have on your shoulder there.

Your parents raised you to believe those were the end-all and be-all.

I'm not sure of the basis for this statement. Care to elaborate?

Also,m you didn't answer my previous questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I'm a NP. I think it's FINE for you to have those things, whether you paid for them or your parents or whatever. I have these things too (save the private school). What's not cool is your attitude. You seem smug and, well, kind of like a rich bitch. Be humble. You don't have to apologize for the things you have. I grew up poor and I will not apologize for 1 second for giving myself and my kid every comfort or (for DC) advantage I didn't have. But, I'm not going to throw it in peoples' faces like your above. It's distasteful. It's tacky. And it's unnecessary. Be better.

[Anonymous]

This isn't class rage. Its a temper tantrum. She choose a low paying field, like many of us do and is then complaining about her life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still feel rage for my now grown children. One was kicked off the crew team at a regatta, supposedly because parents didn't feel "safe" with him being coxswain at the meet. (the skull had capsized once when they hit a log in practice, not unusual). In truth, another influential parent wanted their son to be coxswain.
My daughter was eliminated from DI team just before their trip to national trials, because wealthier family had joined the team late.
A friend's child was asked to leave scout troop because wealthy SAHMs didn't have room in mini van for her son.
All of these are cases of wealthy, entitled families basically ambushing a child who had participated fully because their friends wanted a spot. The crushing impact on self confidence and esteem was pretty awful to see. I'm still angry at myself for not being more insistent on their behalf, but not sure what I could have done.

This is terrible, PP. I'm sorry.

This all may very well be very true. And it also may be a parent who refuses to accept that her kids weren't quite up to snuff, and constantly makes excuses for them. We'll never know.

Does it matter that the kids weren't quite up to snuff. If they had been members of the teams and participated fully it's not OK to kick them off at the point of competition or during a regatta or in the middle of a scout year. This is an excuse often made by wealthy families to eliminate kids who aren't in the clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I'm a NP. I think it's FINE for you to have those things, whether you paid for them or your parents or whatever. I have these things too (save the private school). What's not cool is your attitude. You seem smug and, well, kind of like a rich bitch. Be humble. You don't have to apologize for the things you have. I grew up poor and I will not apologize for 1 second for giving myself and my kid every comfort or (for DC) advantage I didn't have. But, I'm not going to throw it in peoples' faces like your above. It's distasteful. It's tacky. And it's unnecessary. Be better.

Frankly, the response was perfectly appropriate for the gross assumptions about PP's character. Someone else feeling insecure and lesser than about your wealth/privilege is on them, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I'm a NP. I think it's FINE for you to have those things, whether you paid for them or your parents or whatever. I have these things too (save the private school). What's not cool is your attitude. You seem smug and, well, kind of like a rich bitch. Be humble. You don't have to apologize for the things you have. I grew up poor and I will not apologize for 1 second for giving myself and my kid every comfort or (for DC) advantage I didn't have. But, I'm not going to throw it in peoples' faces like your above. It's distasteful. It's tacky. And it's unnecessary. Be better.

I am the PP you are responding to. Did you actually read the post I responded to? The one that said that the poster looked down on others as soft, weaker than we thought, spoiled, and babied? Given that, I'm perfectly justified in responding with a bit of smugness - which, by the way, is *far* less offensive that what was thrown out there. So, it was necessary, and you can take your "be better" crap and stick it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I'm a NP. I think it's FINE for you to have those things, whether you paid for them or your parents or whatever. I have these things too (save the private school). What's not cool is your attitude. You seem smug and, well, kind of like a rich bitch. Be humble. You don't have to apologize for the things you have. I grew up poor and I will not apologize for 1 second for giving myself and my kid every comfort or (for DC) advantage I didn't have. But, I'm not going to throw it in peoples' faces like your above. It's distasteful. It's tacky. And it's unnecessary. Be better.

I am the PP you are responding to. Did you actually read the post I responded to? The one that said that the poster looked down on others as soft, weaker than we thought, spoiled, and babied? Given that, I'm perfectly justified in responding with a bit of smugness - which, by the way, is *far* less offensive that what was thrown out there. So, it was necessary, [b]and you can take your "be better" crap and stick it[/b].

LOL. Two lessons out of this post:

1) Someone's nerves were really struck when they were called spoiled, babied, helped, soft, and weak.

2) Someone is, at heart, not really a very nice person. In fact, one might even call her (see above: "spoiled, babied, helped, soft, and weak"!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

That's OK. If you want to look down on me while I'm in Aspen for winter break, and Europe for 2 weeks in the summer, and because of the fully funded private school and college tuition, I'll somehow summon the strength to carry on.

I'm a NP. I think it's FINE for you to have those things, whether you paid for them or your parents or whatever. I have these things too (save the private school). What's not cool is your attitude. You seem smug and, well, kind of like a rich bitch. Be humble. You don't have to apologize for the things you have. I grew up poor and I will not apologize for 1 second for giving myself and my kid every comfort or (for DC) advantage I didn't have. But, I'm not going to throw it in peoples' faces like your above. It's distasteful. It's tacky. And it's unnecessary. Be better.

I am the PP you are responding to. Did you actually read the post I responded to? The one that said that the poster looked down on others as soft, weaker than we thought, spoiled, and babied? Given that, I'm perfectly justified in responding with a bit of smugness - which, by the way, is *far* less offensive that what was thrown out there. So, it was necessary, and you can take your "be better" crap and stick it.

Aren’t you a delicate flower! No one cares about aspen, just don’t be a d**k about it, ffs.