This is what class rage feels like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw this article coming up as recommended after reading all the college bribe drama. Interesting. What do you think?

https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/class-rage-anger-wealthy-rich-friends.html

She's nothing but a whiner, and is the cause of ALL her problems. We all have choices and not everybody starts equally in life. Some have health issues, some have crappy families even if they do have money. I could go on and on, but in this country if you have your health you can pretty much become anything. And yes acquire a pretty decent bank account. I came from average parents, but we worked hard and have done fairly well. Like many self victims she is the source of her problems OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this article was particularly compelling for me as I can really relate to much of what ails the author. I too went to private school, an Ivy caliber college and studied English Literature and chemistry. I was one of the smartest students in class, and and idealist. I left college with a profound sense that I wanted to make the world a better place. I grew up comfortably with my parents providing everything I could dream of, and in my sheltered naivete it never occurred to me to think of logistical matters such as salary, cost of living and earning the UMC existence I grew up in.

A bright eyed dreamer with a big head full of goals and dreams, I joined the well regarded foreign policy world in DC. It was mesmerizing, the ideas, the important people, the inescapable sense that what we talked about in our discussion groups mattered not just in DC but around the world. I was star struck by the smart and famous people who frequented our think tank and the other interns and I spent many a lunch hours dreaming and planning for our bright futures.

After a year of this I realized that none of us were going to get hired. Almost everyone started applying to graduate school or if they already had a graduate degree, they applied elsewhere.

I did not have a trust fund with which to pursue a graduate degree, especially as I realized the jobs those graduates were qualified for would pay 50k to start!

I decided to find fulltime employment without an MA from SAIS or Hopkins and found an entry level program admin job at a nonprofit starting pay of 37k.

Most of my colleagues had MAs or were pursing them. I also noticed all of them came from well off families with their parents or grand parents funding their nice DC apartments, buying them, expensive jackets and paying for further education.

I felt lost and demoralized. The poor pay and lack of advancement affected my mental health and years later, I work as an admin at another non=profit. In hindsight, I am glad I did not go to SAIS and put myself in 200k debt only to qualify for jobs paying 60k.

I feel lost and angry at being so stupid. Most of my cohort are still in non-well paying jobs in the non profit sector and a few got MBAs and joined the corporate sector.

Not having their family money, I feel like I got myself stuck in a dead end route.

I'm in the same boat PP, entering middle age and regretting my life choices! I didn't grow up UMC but in a much lower COL area, so it was a bit of a shock to me that with my Ivy League education (no debt because I did a funded PhD, but ouch the opportunity cost) and niche employability in my "make a difference" field, I wasn't going to be able to afford even the same midcentury Cape Cod with a nice yard and reasonable commute.

I also feel really stupid about my choices and not sure where to go from here. I'm grateful to have the less than ideal home i do, and kids spaced far enough apart we'd only have one at a time in day care, but I've advanced to the point where I'm not doing the rewarding work anymore, just lower level management, so if work is going to be a grind I wish I had picked a field that compensated me for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this article was particularly compelling for me as I can really relate to much of what ails the author. I too went to private school, an Ivy caliber college and studied English Literature and chemistry. I was one of the smartest students in class, and and idealist. I left college with a profound sense that I wanted to make the world a better place. I grew up comfortably with my parents providing everything I could dream of, and in my sheltered naivete it never occurred to me to think of logistical matters such as salary, cost of living and earning the UMC existence I grew up in.

A bright eyed dreamer with a big head full of goals and dreams, I joined the well regarded foreign policy world in DC. It was mesmerizing, the ideas, the important people, the inescapable sense that what we talked about in our discussion groups mattered not just in DC but around the world. I was star struck by the smart and famous people who frequented our think tank and the other interns and I spent many a lunch hours dreaming and planning for our bright futures.

After a year of this I realized that none of us were going to get hired. Almost everyone started applying to graduate school or if they already had a graduate degree, they applied elsewhere.

I did not have a trust fund with which to pursue a graduate degree, especially as I realized the jobs those graduates were qualified for would pay 50k to start!

I decided to find fulltime employment without an MA from SAIS or Hopkins and found an entry level program admin job at a nonprofit starting pay of 37k.

Most of my colleagues had MAs or were pursing them. I also noticed all of them came from well off families with their parents or grand parents funding their nice DC apartments, buying them, expensive jackets and paying for further education.

I felt lost and demoralized. The poor pay and lack of advancement affected my mental health and years later, I work as an admin at another non=profit. In hindsight, I am glad I did not go to SAIS and put myself in 200k debt only to qualify for jobs paying 60k.

I feel lost and angry at being so stupid. Most of my cohort are still in non-well paying jobs in the non profit sector and a few got MBAs and joined the corporate sector.

Not having their family money, I feel like I got myself stuck in a dead end route.

I'm in the same boat PP, entering middle age and regretting my life choices! I didn't grow up UMC but in a much lower COL area, so it was a bit of a shock to me that with my Ivy League education (no debt because I did a funded PhD, but ouch the opportunity cost) and niche employability in my "make a difference" field, I wasn't going to be able to afford even the same midcentury Cape Cod with a nice yard and reasonable commute.

I also feel really stupid about my choices and not sure where to go from here. I'm grateful to have the less than ideal home i do, and kids spaced far enough apart we'd only have one at a time in day care, but I've advanced to the point where I'm not doing the rewarding work anymore, just lower level management, so if work is going to be a grind I wish I had picked a field that compensated me for it.

There are much nicer places in the U.S. where you can have a much better lifestyle and quality of life. I would start there, and no it's not to late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this article coming up as recommended after reading all the college bribe drama. Interesting. What do you think?

https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/class-rage-anger-wealthy-rich-friends.html

She's nothing but a whiner, and is the cause of ALL her problems. We all have choices and not everybody starts equally in life. Some have health issues, some have crappy families even if they do have money. I could go on and on, but in this country if you have your health you can pretty much become anything. And yes acquire a pretty decent bank account. I came from average parents, but we worked hard and have done fairly well. Like many self victims she is the source of her problems OP.

Yes, my sibling and I could have written the exact same story, (including the loss of breadwinner parent), except when we realized an MFA wasn't going to help us pay off our student loans and make a real living, we went to law school with all the other poor kids who love to write.

[Anonymous]

The original post is from 2019 I see. It is not about "class rage." It's about the writer's insecurity, and resentment. Envy really. Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can totally relate to this article! Especially during the pandemic. “Public schools are closed? Hired a nanny! Send your kids to private, that’s what we’re doing!” Ummmm I don’t have $100k lying around?? You do? And so do several other neighbors on our street?! How??! I thought we were all in similar boats… apparently not. “We’re all in this together” got really old really fast.

This. The 'just send your kids to private' sent me over the edge. So now their kids are going to have yet an additional edge - they were in in-person school for 18 months; mine in fully virtual.

Stop complaining and get busy. No one is stopping you from making more money. People are dying to come to America. Some become multi millionaires within one generation. Their kids go to private.

NP and agree. This original author of the story, I would assume, is not the child of an immigrant. Immigrants' kids often have all this hard wired into us - work while in school, try to get as much scholarship as possible, and the two big ones: 1) choose something practical for work (ie make a decent living) and 2) don't go to a private university unless you are going to be an MD or JD. Obvious choices to anyone *without* a big safety net.

Another immigrant kid here. Yes, this is true PP, except my parents didn't urge me to pursue a JD since many lawyers do not get paid well. MD or finance was the goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can totally relate to this article! Especially during the pandemic. “Public schools are closed? Hired a nanny! Send your kids to private, that’s what we’re doing!” Ummmm I don’t have $100k lying around?? You do? And so do several other neighbors on our street?! How??! I thought we were all in similar boats… apparently not. “We’re all in this together” got really old really fast.

This. The 'just send your kids to private' sent me over the edge. So now their kids are going to have yet an additional edge - they were in in-person school for 18 months; mine in fully virtual.

Stop complaining and get busy. No one is stopping you from making more money. People are dying to come to America. Some become multi millionaires within one generation. Their kids go to private.

NP and agree. This original author of the story, I would assume, is not the child of an immigrant. Immigrants' kids often have all this hard wired into us - work while in school, try to get as much scholarship as possible, and the two big ones: 1) choose something practical for work (ie make a decent living) and 2) don't go to a private university unless you are going to be an MD or JD. Obvious choices to anyone *without* a big safety net.

Another immigrant kid here. Yes, this is true PP, except my parents didn't urge me to pursue a JD since many lawyers do not get paid well. MD or finance was the goal.

Finance and tech are still the best bang for the buck, given that neither require graduate level education. Less school debt + more time in the workforce in a well-paid position in your 20s = early retirement if you're a saver.

The problem with finance and tech is the immense pressure to be a big spender and to constantly level-up your lifestyle in HCOL locales. The number of people I know in finance who still rent in their 30s is crazy. And they are paying $8-12K per month in rent. It's such a waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this article coming up as recommended after reading all the college bribe drama. Interesting. What do you think?

https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/class-rage-anger-wealthy-rich-friends.html

She's nothing but a whiner, and is the cause of ALL her problems. We all have choices and not everybody starts equally in life. Some have health issues, some have crappy families even if they do have money. I could go on and on, but in this country if you have your health you can pretty much become anything. And yes acquire a pretty decent bank account. I came from average parents, but we worked hard and have done fairly well. Like many self victims she is the source of her problems OP.

Yes, my sibling and I could have written the exact same story, (including the loss of breadwinner parent), except when we realized an MFA wasn't going to help us pay off our student loans and make a real living, we went to law school with all the other poor kids who love to write.

My sibling went to a much better school, and ended up head of her department. Her DH was vice president of that same company. By age 50 the company was bought out and at some point and they were both out of jobs. He ended up having a stroke, and it was downhill from there. All people have challenges. That article was nothing but jealousy, and blame which is always counterproductive. Sadly, it's commonplace along with generational victim-hood. Smart and resourceful people don't engage in that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My MIL can help us because she built up wealth from nothing by hustling.

She must have been super pretty!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely how I feel when I find out people have significant parental help in the form of house down payments (or full purchase price), tuition, completed 529’s, free trips to Hawaii, etc. It’s all very hush hush because they want it to seem like they aren’t getting that much help.

We’re not hiding it. Nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

Exactly. It is just our normal so don’t even think about having to discuss it.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s class rage building up but I think this author is out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can totally relate to this article! Especially during the pandemic. “Public schools are closed? Hired a nanny! Send your kids to private, that’s what we’re doing!” Ummmm I don’t have $100k lying around?? You do? And so do several other neighbors on our street?! How??! I thought we were all in similar boats… apparently not. “We’re all in this together” got really old really fast.

This. The 'just send your kids to private' sent me over the edge. So now their kids are going to have yet an additional edge - they were in in-person school for 18 months; mine in fully virtual.

Stop complaining and get busy. No one is stopping you from making more money. People are dying to come to America. Some become multi millionaires within one generation. Their kids go to private.

NP and agree. This original author of the story, I would assume, is not the child of an immigrant. Immigrants' kids often have all this hard wired into us - work while in school, try to get as much scholarship as possible, and the two big ones: 1) choose something practical for work (ie make a decent living) and 2) don't go to a private university unless you are going to be an MD or JD. Obvious choices to anyone *without* a big safety net.

Another immigrant kid here. Yes, this is true PP, except my parents didn't urge me to pursue a JD since many lawyers do not get paid well. MD or finance was the goal.

Finance and tech are still the best bang for the buck, given that neither require graduate level education. Less school debt + more time in the workforce in a well-paid position in your 20s = early retirement if you're a saver.

The problem with finance and tech is the immense pressure to be a big spender and to constantly level-up your lifestyle in HCOL locales. The number of people I know in finance who still rent in their 30s is crazy. And they are paying $8-12K per month in rent. It's such a waste.

Paying $8k/month in rent isn't that crazy when the alternative is paying $15k/month in mortgage/taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s class rage building up but I think this author is out of touch.

The privilege she complains about is (without her saying it explicitly) white privilege.

[Anonymous]

I'm 33 and now that people are starting to buy houses and have kids it becomes a lot more apparent whose parents are helping them, or not. One example that I do find annoying is someone who works for her parent's company. Now that she has a kid she only works a few hours a week, if that, and still collects the same salary from her father so she can afford a nanny. She acts like she is "doing it all" but is doing much less than either a WOHM or SAHM with no acknowledgement of how flexible her arrangement is solely because she "works" for her father. We have and will not receive any $ from either side but are proud of what we have built so far - I don't think I would feel 'proud' in the same (maybe any?) sense if we only afforded our house because someone literally gave it to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can totally relate to this article! Especially during the pandemic. “Public schools are closed? Hired a nanny! Send your kids to private, that’s what we’re doing!” Ummmm I don’t have $100k lying around?? You do? And so do several other neighbors on our street?! How??! I thought we were all in similar boats… apparently not. “We’re all in this together” got really old really fast.

This. The 'just send your kids to private' sent me over the edge. So now their kids are going to have yet an additional edge - they were in in-person school for 18 months; mine in fully virtual.

Stop complaining and get busy. No one is stopping you from making more money. People are dying to come to America. Some become multi millionaires within one generation. Their kids go to private.

NP and agree. This original author of the story, I would assume, is not the child of an immigrant. Immigrants' kids often have all this hard wired into us - work while in school, try to get as much scholarship as possible, and the two big ones: 1) choose something practical for work (ie make a decent living) and 2) don't go to a private university unless you are going to be an MD or JD. Obvious choices to anyone *without* a big safety net.

Another immigrant kid here. Yes, this is true PP, except my parents didn't urge me to pursue a JD since many lawyers do not get paid well. MD or finance was the goal.

Finance and tech are still the best bang for the buck, given that neither require graduate level education. Less school debt + more time in the workforce in a well-paid position in your 20s = early retirement if you're a saver.

The problem with finance and tech is the immense pressure to be a big spender and to constantly level-up your lifestyle in HCOL locales. The number of people I know in finance who still rent in their 30s is crazy. And they are paying $8-12K per month in rent. It's such a waste.

Paying $8k/month in rent isn't that crazy when the alternative is paying $15k/month in mortgage/taxes.

I'm not familiar enough with the NYC market to know if paying $15K in mortgage for an $8K rental equivalent is normal (I suspect it's not though) but I imagine what PP meant is that they had bought a modest place when they were just starting out and held it instead of letting lifestyle creep take over they'd have a significantly smaller mortgage than $8K. Or at least an $8K mortgage that's building equity.