This is what class rage feels like

[Anonymous]

I still feel rage for my now grown children. One was kicked off the crew team at a regatta, supposedly because parents didn't feel "safe" with him being coxswain at the meet. (the skull had capsized once when they hit a log in practice, not unusual). In truth, another influential parent wanted their son to be coxswain.
My daughter was eliminated from DI team just before their trip to national trials, because wealthier family had joined the team late.
A friend's child was asked to leave scout troop because wealthy SAHMs didn't have room in mini van for her son.
All of these are cases of wealthy, entitled families basically ambushing a child who had participated fully because their friends wanted a spot. The crushing impact on self confidence and esteem was pretty awful to see. I'm still angry at myself for not being more insistent on their behalf, but not sure what I could have done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I guess you haven't learned much about welfare in this country. Where exactly in the world do all people regardless of the circumstances of their birth enjoy such freedom of choice? There literally is no one in this country who can't move out of poverty by attending public school, doing their homework and putting off the bad choices that suck you down like getting pregnant. Maybe they won't end up as millionaires, but most people don't. But even if they do squander all of the opportunities that they've been given, nobody starves here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I guess you haven't learned much about welfare in this country. Where exactly in the world do all people regardless of the circumstances of their birth enjoy such freedom of choice? There literally is no one in this country who can't move out of poverty by attending public school, doing their homework and putting off the bad choices that suck you down like getting pregnant. Maybe they won't end up as millionaires, but most people don't. But even if they do squander all of the opportunities that they've been given, nobody starves here.

PP is full of shit. Really PP -- do you think every country has welfare; project housing; food stamps; WIC; free school lunches; Planned Parenthood for free med care; and schools in the hood sending home freaking backpacks full of food so that the single mama doesn't even have to provide a meal or two on the weekends? Sure the projects are terrible, but they still allow people to live INDOORS with plumbing. Sure food stamps don't allow you to buy absolutely everything, but they allow people not to starve. You know how poor people live in Asia and Africa? In tents on the side of the road, going to the bathroom right there on the road. Do you really think American has NO social safety nets??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I like you

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.[/quote]

I like you[/quote]

Idiot, version 2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can totally relate to the first half of the story. I understand what she is saying in the rest.

I feel envy at those who can comfortably send their kids to private. I felt envy (near rage) when having worked for 13 years each in professional careers (26 years could be someone’s entire career), we were struggling to buy an entry level crappy house in Arlington Mclean or Vienna. I had started off earning six figures, mostly did those 13 years, but could not believe how difficult it was to afford that house (after taxes daycare expenses what not).

I have seen what the author describes. People who are able to hang in there, develop and ultimately get some success in industries or careers that are not a real choice unless someone can heavily subsidize them the first 10-20 years (such as in the arts).

I just wanted to say that we don’t talk about things in that article or class issues often enough or open enough.

It’s like Hill staffers. Parents subsidize them until they become lobbyists.

But if you have half a brain, you don’t become a hill staffer unless your family has $$$. Certain fields are luxury goods. Plan accordingly.

A lot of good people don’t realize this. They aren’t dumb, just a little naive.

This.
And I totally get what the author is saying and I get where her frustration is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I guess you haven't learned much about welfare in this country. Where exactly in the world do all people regardless of the circumstances of their birth enjoy such freedom of choice? There literally is no one in this country who can't move out of poverty by attending public school, doing their homework and putting off the bad choices that suck you down like getting pregnant. Maybe they won't end up as millionaires, but most people don't. But even if they do squander all of the opportunities that they've been given, nobody starves here.

PP is full of shit. Really PP -- do you think every country has welfare; project housing; food stamps; WIC; free school lunches; Planned Parenthood for free med care; and schools in the hood sending home freaking backpacks full of food so that the single mama doesn't even have to provide a meal or two on the weekends? Sure the projects are terrible, but they still allow people to live INDOORS with plumbing. Sure food stamps don't allow you to buy absolutely everything, but they allow people not to starve. You know how poor people live in Asia and Africa? In tents on the side of the road, going to the bathroom right there on the road. Do you really think American has NO social safety nets??

DP.
It doesn't have enough, for a country THAT rich.
The author's parents went broke paying for their cancer treatments. We, in our family, also dealt with a life-threatening illness that not only debilitated one of us, we're still paying hospital bills 7 years later. Oh, and before you ask, we weren't in frivolous careers and have "good" health insurance, but still, one medical disaster set us back tremendously.
Health care system in this country is a disgrace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing. This woman is bright enough to have gone the management track at a random company and be making 80-100k in Columbus or Phoenix or Denver as a project manager or senior admin and if she’d married someone similar, that’s 160- 200k HHI right there. She could have done it. Boring job but she’d have financial security and a comfortable life.

But she chose to be in the “creative” industry in NYC of all places. Her decisions. And she’s complaining?

And pretty sure she can still do that now. Economy is booming and companies (esp those not in NYC/DC/major metro areas) are having a hard time hiring. She can get hired into an "analyst" role at some company in Ohio or Atlanta or wherever at 40-50k. She can then work her way up to that 80k as a project manager/senior admin. In 5 years she can be making 80k-100k in a lower COL city. She is just choosing not to bc I'm sure she's one of these people who can't leave NYC or the arts and it's easier to just whine about it.

But she's a New Yorker! She couldn't lie anywhere else! And she loves her job. It's just so unfair that it pays so little! That's the real injustice here.

Gimme a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I guess you haven't learned much about welfare in this country. Where exactly in the world do all people regardless of the circumstances of their birth enjoy such freedom of choice? There literally is no one in this country who can't move out of poverty by attending public school, doing their homework and putting off the bad choices that suck you down like getting pregnant. Maybe they won't end up as millionaires, but most people don't. But even if they do squander all of the opportunities that they've been given, nobody starves here.

PP is full of shit. Really PP -- do you think every country has welfare; project housing; food stamps; WIC; free school lunches; Planned Parenthood for free med care; and schools in the hood sending home freaking backpacks full of food so that the single mama doesn't even have to provide a meal or two on the weekends? Sure the projects are terrible, but they still allow people to live INDOORS with plumbing. Sure food stamps don't allow you to buy absolutely everything, but they allow people not to starve. You know how poor people live in Asia and Africa? In tents on the side of the road, going to the bathroom right there on the road. Do you really think American has NO social safety nets??

Europe puts us to shame. They do, in fact, have everything you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigrant who became a millionaire at 36 by choosing a science major followed by law school and then a law firm specializing in intellectual property.

I knew I didn’t have the luxury of pursuing my dream (art history) when I had no safety net. My parents were abusive and threw me out at age 16. So, I guess I did things “right” according to those of you blaming the author.

And I still think you are stupid to blame her.

America is a society in which there is no safety net whatsoever. Thus, only rich people have a broad array of choices in this country. Everyone else is either consumed by making ends meet and accumulating wealth, or suffering for daring to aim for more. But the way things are isn’t the way they have to be.

Instead of blaming people who have the nerve to want a wide array of choices when they don’t come from money, you should ask yourself why such freedom should be the exclusive province of the rich.

I guess you haven't learned much about welfare in this country. Where exactly in the world do all people regardless of the circumstances of their birth enjoy such freedom of choice? There literally is no one in this country who can't move out of poverty by attending public school, doing their homework and putting off the bad choices that suck you down like getting pregnant. Maybe they won't end up as millionaires, but most people don't. But even if they do squander all of the opportunities that they've been given, nobody starves here.

PP is full of shit. Really PP -- do you think every country has welfare; project housing; food stamps; WIC; free school lunches; Planned Parenthood for free med care; and schools in the hood sending home freaking backpacks full of food so that the single mama doesn't even have to provide a meal or two on the weekends? Sure the projects are terrible, but they still allow people to live INDOORS with plumbing. Sure food stamps don't allow you to buy absolutely everything, but they allow people not to starve. You know how poor people live in Asia and Africa? In tents on the side of the road, going to the bathroom right there on the road. Do you really think American has NO social safety nets??

Europe puts us to shame. They do, in fact, have everything you mentioned.

Then go live in Europe? Sorry I’d rather strive to be in the upper echelons in the US than content with safety nets in Europe. And btw PP said we have NO safety nets. Just because we’re not at Europe level socialism doesn’t mean we have NO safety nets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can totally relate to the first half of the story. I understand what she is saying in the rest.

I feel envy at those who can comfortably send their kids to private. I felt envy (near rage) when having worked for 13 years each in professional careers (26 years could be someone’s entire career), we were struggling to buy an entry level crappy house in Arlington Mclean or Vienna. I had started off earning six figures, mostly did those 13 years, but could not believe how difficult it was to afford that house (after taxes daycare expenses what not).

I have seen what the author describes. People who are able to hang in there, develop and ultimately get some success in industries or careers that are not a real choice unless someone can heavily subsidize them the first 10-20 years (such as in the arts).

I just wanted to say that we don’t talk about things in that article or class issues often enough or open enough.

It’s like Hill staffers. Parents subsidize them until they become lobbyists.

But if you have half a brain, you don’t become a hill staffer unless your family has $$$. Certain fields are luxury goods. Plan accordingly.

A lot of good people don’t realize this. They aren’t dumb, just a little naive.

How?! I am from a tiny town at the epicenter of the opioid crisis in Ohio. I swear I practically fell off the turnip truck. But it was pretty easy to figure out the $ jobs that would match with my skills.

My husband is from a tiny town in Indiana and literally did fall off the turnip truck. His moving here with an unpaid internship from his congressman *was* his big ticket out. And then he translated the unpaid internship into a staff assistant position, then LC, then LA, then LD, then private. He was the kid who made it outta there, and didn't end up with a job in the (closing) steel mills. He lived in a shared basement with a curtain hanging up to divide up his half from the other guy's half, in a group home. THIS WAS THE JOB THAT MATCHED WITH HIS SKILLS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can totally relate to the first half of the story. I understand what she is saying in the rest.

I feel envy at those who can comfortably send their kids to private. I felt envy (near rage) when having worked for 13 years each in professional careers (26 years could be someone’s entire career), we were struggling to buy an entry level crappy house in Arlington Mclean or Vienna. I had started off earning six figures, mostly did those 13 years, but could not believe how difficult it was to afford that house (after taxes daycare expenses what not).

I have seen what the author describes. People who are able to hang in there, develop and ultimately get some success in industries or careers that are not a real choice unless someone can heavily subsidize them the first 10-20 years (such as in the arts).

I just wanted to say that we don’t talk about things in that article or class issues often enough or open enough.

It’s like Hill staffers. Parents subsidize them until they become lobbyists.

But if you have half a brain, you don’t become a hill staffer unless your family has $$$. Certain fields are luxury goods. Plan accordingly.

A lot of good people don’t realize this. They aren’t dumb, just a little naive.

How?! I am from a tiny town at the epicenter of the opioid crisis in Ohio. I swear I practically fell off the turnip truck. But it was pretty easy to figure out the $ jobs that would match with my skills.

Idk. DH and I were both middle class and thought the key to wealth was law or medicine. Haha, jokes on us. Those are merely middle class jobs now. I had never heard of a lobbyist or ibanker until I was already in the working world.

Yeah, my parents always told us that liberal arts majors really knew how to think, how to write. . and that with that, we could learn anything else we needed to know. We would be better off than the mere shortsignted business majors who, supposedly, did not know how to think critically or write. Said my parents.

Well, all those people got jobs. We liberal arts majors. . .we can think and write. . .but that sure isn't paying the $$ I thought it would. So, really, with everything that is changing so much these days, I think it's hard to predict and prepare for what may pay well whenever YOU happen to hit the professional world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could only get a few paragraphs in before I found myself rolling my eyes and had to bail. No one likes a whiner.

Me too. I couldn’t imagine that with all the job opportunities in NY that she couldn’t work on the weekends and earn enough to pay for part of her living expenses. Maybe she could meet a man and get married.

Yeah, because that's the American dream: work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to just make ends meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look it's fine if your parents give you money for down payments and fancy vacations and private school/college money for your multiple kids.

But just realize that when your regular middle class friends learn about that stuff, they're probably going to feel weird about. Insecure or lesser than.

It's ok.

And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all make choices in life that greatly affects the long term outcome. If you are going into the artistic fields in New York without family money, you have to be prepared to pay the price for that. If you want to live in a high cost area like DC and complain about not being able to afford a crappy rambler in Bethesda, then that's a choice you made by deciding to live in DC instead of a cheaper city elsewhere.

I've noticed that most of "class rage" is actually anger at oneself for making decisions that didn't pan out in the long run and for being in denial about it for a long time. I knew plenty of people who moved to NY or SF after college, but they only did it for a few years. They got married, and moved to the second tier cities and now live comfortable and happy and contented lives because they were bright enough to know the high cost of living in New York or California wasn't going to be worth it and would require too much sacrifice if you weren't pulling in at least 500k a year HHI and that quite often you have a better life on 200k in a provincial city than 500k in Manhattan. They were smart enough to realize that and left while the going was still good instead of hanging on desperately to end up the last person left at the party.

I don't know if this is really true.

I think most people are pissed because they've been sold a used bill of goods. We've all been told our whole lives that "if we work hard enough" we too will have the American dream. A single family house in a "nice" neighborhood outside of a major city, good job that doesn't overwork you, a couple of kids who you can afford to send to "good" k-12 schools and college, and a vacation or two a year.

Compare that to most people's reality where they are burdened with student loan debt and daycare, their salary hasn't gone up in forever but their hours have, and they can't even afford a sh*t shack in Arlington. And probably haven't been on a real vacation in five years.

Yes, this is it. Sold a used bill of goods.