Go ahead and vent about your in-laws here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s see. So far, this is what my MIL has said to me:

- that I mismanage our au pair because I give her too much time off. And that I should have her make up the hours during the weeks we are home. I pointed out that this is illegal and she shrugged and said she was just stating her opinion and didn’t want to discuss it.

- that I should work with our oldest DD more on her reading. (Doesn’t tell her own son anything)

- that the baby’s feet are cold and why don’t I have anything warmer for her to wear? Even though I insist the baby is fine.

- when we told her that we would head to my sister’s house today, that we couldn’t leave until at least noon because she needed more time with the kids. This is despite the fact that we reviewed this schedule with her last week. And despite the fact that she is retired and can visit us when we she wants and only comes for 24 hour visits. But our 24 hour visit is insufficient.

She is a nasty and condescending person and I have decided that I am not visiting her again unless absolutely necessary.

Omg yes. Wtf is up with that. I get zero visits even when I need help but they beg us to stay at their tiny house for full weeks. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

Girl you need to cut that shit off like yesterday. No way in HELL would I subject myself or my kids to that! Effing baby’s boomers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Once again the issue is not choosing a different way to go about things. It's not being up front about that so a family member can decide whether or not they want to forgo the holiday dinner they've been looking forward to all year.

If you're not a fan of Thanksgiving and you're not going to serve the regulars then why on earth are you hosting?

It honestly sounds like you're privately happy about pulling a bait and switch on them to give them a spiel about the untold problematic aspects of Thanksgiving. And if they're generally nice and polite people then that's just a di@k move.

I say that as a very liberal and progressive person. You don't have to ruin people's holidays by springing surprises on them in order to spread awareness.

Keep seeing this. Seriously. Are there really people who are waiting a whole year to eat turkey and mashed potatoes??? If they like the meal so much what prevents people from making these dishes other times, not wait 364 days?? I don't get it. Honestly, I don't get this holiday in general, but the whole "waiting for a whole year" for this meal is beyond me. I always thought it was about spending quality time with the family. But what do I know, I am an immigrant, who has been living here for 17 years, still not get it.

So you don't get it, and that's fine.

That meal is a time capsule and a time-traveling machine. When I smell a turkey roasting, I am instantly transported to Muncie, Indiana, circa 1988, at my now-decesed and very-much-missed grandma's house. When I taste cranberry sauce, I am reminded of the jovial "war of cranberries" that my Mom (a boiled-berries-in-sugar purist) and my aunt (a canned aficianado) waged every year growing up. When I lift the lid off of dressing steaming in the crock pot, I am so proud that I am able to create these memories for my family, who tell me I make the BEST dressing.

Er... you have issues if you haven't moved on and found meaningful life experiences that can provide perspective on this, PP. I'm a new poster. Please get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Honest to god, my ILs are UP MY ASS. They cannot just leave me be. They observe and monitor and discuss me CONSTANTLY. As if no one has ever eaten a muffin, or put laundry in a basket, or cooked a pasta dish before.

Get out of my ass, honestly. PERSONAL SPACE! They are constantly hovering and over-solicitous and I just. Want. Them. Gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Aww - I really enjoyed hearing from the posters who stood up to the racist FIL and who walked out of the GF's house. Well, done, both of you. We need more of you in the world! My DH called out a racist in a random airport and I was so proud of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

We don't live near them. And there is no Christmas meal whatseover. It's leftover appetizers. My kids are to young to appear at the party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, my ILs are UP MY ASS. They cannot just leave me be. They observe and monitor and discuss me CONSTANTLY. As if no one has ever eaten a muffin, or put laundry in a basket, or cooked a pasta dish before.

Get out of my ass, honestly. PERSONAL SPACE! They are constantly hovering and over-solicitous and I just. Want. Them. Gone.

LOL. We are at theirs with 10 million rooms and somehow we are in the same room. And I'm starving because the kitchen is the prime "accosting" spot...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

We don't live near them. And there is no Christmas meal whatseover. It's leftover appetizers. My kids are to young to appear at the party

So don't go. Issue them a standing invitation that they can visit you any time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

We don't live near them. And there is no Christmas meal whatseover. It's leftover appetizers. My kids are to young to appear at the party

So don't go. Issue them a standing invitation that they can visit you any time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

Dh won't let us. We have to go. I've tried. Ive even tried going to counseling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

We don't live near them. And there is no Christmas meal whatseover. It's leftover appetizers. My kids are to young to appear at the party

So don't go. Issue them a standing invitation that they can visit you any time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

Dh won't let us. We have to go. I've tried. Ive even tried going to counseling

Literally don't get in the car. Make the time leading up to Christmas very special with your kids. If they get sad on Christmas Day, tell them, "Mommy needs a quiet day at home this year."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You aren't evil, but you are 100% a doormat. If you don't like their plans, MAKE YOUR OWN PLANS. Tell DH that you want next Christmas to be your kids waking up in their own beds, and that's it. They can still go to the Christmas Eve open house for a bit, then come home and have Christmas morning at home, with a big breakfast. Back to ILs for "low-key" dinner. Figure something out. Engineer things a little. Take ownership of your choices, or stop complaining.

We don't live near them. And there is no Christmas meal whatseover. It's leftover appetizers. My kids are to young to appear at the party

So don't go. Issue them a standing invitation that they can visit you any time between Thanksgiving and New Year's.

Dh won't let us. We have to go. I've tried. Ive even tried going to counseling

Won't "LET" you? Hi, it's 2018. You're not his property.

[Anonymous]

Go the weekend before, bring a party of snacks, apps, food and cookies so the kids have fun, stay in a nearby hotel, have a continental breakfast with them, then go home. Then you can do your thing the next weekend for your Christmas. Just plan it and go. DH will have to do it. Then, no reason to travel again! That would be silly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go the weekend before, bring a party of snacks, apps, food and cookies so the kids have fun, stay in a nearby hotel, have a continental breakfast with them, then go home. Then you can do your thing the next weekend for your Christmas. Just plan it and go. DH will have to do it. Then, no reason to travel again! That would be silly

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to vent about "low key holidays". My inlaws have an extremely laid back, low key Christmas. They serve snacks and appetizers and have an open house for everyone to visit from 7-1am. They love it because all their friends come and drink. Their parents and siblings/cousins no longer come because they are with family. I feel like I'm held hostage by their stupid laid back holiday. I want a real meal. I want to be surrounded by family, not their friends. I don't get why they can't have their friends party the weekend before Christmas like everyone else. I want my kids to have fond memories of Christmas Eve and I want it to be about them. Instead we put them to bed before it even starts. Everyone is hung over on Christmas and no food appears all day (hence their low key holiday). We open presents around noon after dh's siblings wake. My kids are hungry and want to open presents. I want to stay home if they aren't making a big deal about Christmas or letting kids open presents at the crack of dawn. I want an over the top amazing holiday. I hate how dh goes along with it every year. I feel like my kids are short changed. Oh yeah and we all sleep on the floor.

Yep I get it. I'm an evil DIL and a doormat.

You are not evil, but you are a doormat.

Hell no.

You can “insist “ just as much as your DH can.

Game on.