Do parents of popular kids ever have to suffer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

[Anonymous]

OP, stop calling your 14 year old's social activities play dates

That term stops around 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My popular, funny, athletic middle schooler has dyslexia, discalculia, and disgraphia. Every class is a struggle for him. Every single one, every single day, since kindergarten. Not that you’d know it from the outside, though. You don’t know what other people go through, OP. There are other ways to suffer other than social exclusion (though I know personally how horrible it is, and I send good thoughts to you all).

+1
I have a child with special needs and a number of parents of kids with LDs, anxiety and other challenges have shared their struggles. You wouldn't know it from the outside because their children are very popular, athletic, good looking and "cool" but some of them are really struggling.

And keep in mind, there are also kids like mine who have a host of LDs, struggle every day at school, and also don’t have strong social skills. My DD has dysgraphia, dyscalculia and dyspraxia. School is hard, sports are hard, social interactions are hard. She also spends most of her free time on her computer. I want to push her to do more but then I also think, my god, what a relief it must be for her to have all the pressure off for a while.

I wish your DD and my DDcould meet! They sound very similar.

I do too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

[Anonymous]

I understand where OP is coming from. We as loving parents weather our children's unhappiness. I think she simply wonders if parents who don't have unhappiness to weather are also generally happier. Also, she is calling out the social engineering that sometimes accompanies this. I would also like to defend her use of the word playdate. She seems to have been referencing a history which of course would involve playdates at a younger age. Yet, of course, PPs have to flame her about the use of this word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand where OP is coming from. We as loving parents weather our children's unhappiness. I think she simply wonders if parents who don't have unhappiness to weather are also generally happier. Also, she is calling out the social engineering that sometimes accompanies this. I would also like to defend her use of the word playdate. She seems to have been referencing a history which of course would involve playdates at a younger age. Yet, of course, PPs have to flame her about the use of this word.

Agree with you 100%. The OP's post probably struck some people as silly b/c she talked about getting preferential treatment at sports events, etc. But for a lot of us whose kids deal with social isolation, it's not about that at all. It's about the suffering we feel, wondering if our kids are happy or not, worrying that they are becoming isolated and not learning the necessary social skills to get through life, etc. And yes, the constant harping on her use of the word playdate says more about the people who responded to this post than it does about the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand where OP is coming from. We as loving parents weather our children's unhappiness. I think she simply wonders if parents who don't have unhappiness to weather are also generally happier. Also, she is calling out the social engineering that sometimes accompanies this. I would also like to defend her use of the word playdate. She seems to have been referencing a history which of course would involve playdates at a younger age. Yet, of course, PPs have to flame her about the use of this word.

Agree with you 100%. The OP's post probably struck some people as silly b/c she talked about getting preferential treatment at sports events, etc. But for a lot of us whose kids deal with social isolation, it's not about that at all. It's about the suffering we feel, wondering if our kids are happy or not, worrying that they are becoming isolated and not learning the necessary social skills to get through life, etc. And yes, the constant harping on her use of the word playdate says more about the people who responded to this post than it does about the OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

In my experience it's often the popular kids who end up having trouble with alcohol/drugs. Many of them flame out in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience it's often the popular kids who end up having trouble with alcohol/drugs. Many of them flame out in adulthood.

I remember there being a stoner clique that was definitely not part of the popular group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

The word is spelled WOE. You are judgmental and ignorant. Not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

The word is spelled WOE. You are judgmental and ignorant. Not a good look.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

The word is spelled WOE. You are judgmental and ignorant. Not a good look.

+1

Auto correct? Do you over react the so much about everything? I am guessing the answer is an emphatic YES. If this is OP, you most certainly are the judgmental one, assuming that people other than you have no problems. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

The word is spelled WOE. You are judgmental and ignorant. Not a good look.

+1

Auto correct? Do you over react the so much about everything? I am guessing the answer is an emphatic YES. If this is OP, you most certainly are the judgmental one, assuming that people other than you have no problems. Get over yourself.

The style is clearly not OP. Wow, you are actually the one who over reacts. Maybe you should take a deep breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 popular kids. Good looking, smart (top of their classes), super athletic. They're invited to everything. Kids clamor to be their friends.

I've had my own struggles. Two that come to mind immediately: 1) Years of significant infertility (I did have kids over time but it involved lots of heartache and loss over the better part of a decade. I will always have some form of PTSD from this).
2) A mother with very early-onset dementia.

We're all dealing with something.

x10000

UNDERSTATEMENT.

OP, what do you think you are owed by other parents? Their life story? How old are you? You seem very young, naive, and/or misinformed - not to mention, at least as judgy as anyone here. Why are you trying to judge other parents? Why aren't you minding your own household?

+1

Whoa is you OP. Your life must be the most difficult of anyone anywhere. The seas should definitely part for you, especially since you are the only one with problems. Let me take a wild guess here - McLean?

The word is spelled WOE. You are judgmental and ignorant. Not a good look.

+1

Auto correct? Do you over react the so much about everything? I am guessing the answer is an emphatic YES. If this is OP, you most certainly are the judgmental one, assuming that people other than you have no problems. Get over yourself.

The style is clearly not OP. Wow, you are actually the one who over reacts. Maybe you should take a deep breath.

You are terrible at deflecting. Maybe that is your problem.

[Anonymous]

/\ I am not OP. You really need to breathe.