Worked my butt off in the PTA and my son is in a "weaker" classroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see the same three moms whenever I walk into my child's grade school. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, either. They are always there.

They sit with their child at the lunch table every day (my child says), which makes me feel sad for their child who never gets the chance to decompress with classmates. I volunteer occasionally, and I can feel these moms staring at me in the hallway as if I'm a cat about to mark their turf. It can feel unsettling.

In the long run, these hover moms aren't doing their child any favors.

Maybe the child has special needs or an allergy? Otherwise I can't imagine why they would do that.

[Anonymous]

I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.[i][u]

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

Right, God forbid some kids bow tie is crooked or their sash isn't tied correctly. We wouldn't want the kids to learn how to take responsibility for their own uniforms!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again- I just needed to get it out. Obviously I can't discuss it IRL.

No worries. It sounds as though you've worked this all out in your own mind now so that you won't be burdened by this when school starts back up.

Yeah, no. I will now only commit to what directly benefits my child. The school was approaching me with other requests and I will now have an easier time turning them down.

Well, you're the one who has to live with yourself. Personally, I'd be ashamed of myself if I stopped helping other kids just because I didn't get the special treatment for my kid that I expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.[i][u]

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

Right, God forbid some kids bow tie is crooked or their sash isn't tied correctly. We wouldn't want the kids to learn how to take responsibility for their own uniforms!!!

Actually it is all about having the kids take responsibility for their own uniforms. You catch the little things before they go on stage. Little things matter. They learn what to look out for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the few MC parents in a title 1 school. Worked my butt off on the PTA board for 2 years, plus classroom volunteering, plus working directly with principal to organize events for the school.
Part of the deal as I saw it was that my son was in a stronger teacher's class last year, plus a stronger and better peer group in his class. He almost always got into free enrichment activities where there was a lottery, which I also saw as part of the deal (never was stated by anyone openly but I was even asked for a preference for a summer program).
Last year, I was asked about the preferences for my son's classroom placement, which I stated (3 of them: teacher, best friend, avoiding one other child). Well I saw the class lists today and I got ZERO of my requests fulfilled. I am fine with either teacher, I am more or less ok that his good friend is not with him, but there is a boy I specifically told the school my son had some run ins with and who is just plain disruptive and physically aggressive, and he is in my son's class. Also, I can see that his class is just weaker than the other one. Two kids who were held back a grade, one borderline special needs slow learner, and only one strong student besides him.
I am just so disappointed. I tried to stay loyal to the neighborhood school, tried to make it better, but now I am just tempted to transfer the kid to a more decent school a bit further away. I am drastically scaling down my PTA involvement this year for sure, and looking into other school options.

this is why I hate SAHM at school. Schools should be a PARENT FREE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1
The op's post is literally the worst.

I'm a SAHM and I never hung around the school being a busy body. I would go in a couple of times a week and help out. That was all.

Please don't lump all PTA parents/classroom volunteers into this category. Most of us have lives, some of us work and the vast majority of us have other children and responsibilities that keep us busy. We volunteer because we see a need for our help and we want to do our part.

One year I spent the year helping to make sure that hundreds of kids had Orchestra uniforms and I went to concerts to make sure that everyone's attire looked good, they had their bow ties and sashes tied correctly, the right socks on, etc.

I can understand not wanting busy body "spies" in the school. I don't like that, either. At the same time, I know that running the "SAHMs" (and many of the volunteers you see do have jobs, btw) out of the school would not be a benefit to anyone.

How do bow ties and sashes benefit the children? How can that possibly be seen as a "need"?

I do think that volunteers do some wonderful thing for schools, but micromanaging children's clothing is the kind of thing I associate with busy bodies.

eh, some kids are more detail oriented than others are, especially in middle school. Some parents have time to look their own kids attire over. But sometimes kids come rushing in asking for someone to please tie their sash. Or maybe they need black socks to wear with their black orchestra pants.

Some of these kids will go on to play in competitions in front of judges so they definitely should be well versed in attire rules.

[Anonymous]

Elementary Principals, all Principals should be blamed for the over involvement. Too many neighborhood mommies in the school, all the time, at our school anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elementary Principals, all Principals should be blamed for the over involvement. Too many neighborhood mommies in the school, all the time, at our school anyway.

How do you know this if you are not there an awful lot yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

No, we actually won't. Most school systems are beyond strapped for basics. I have friends who teach in school systems where real lab sciences were basically eliminated. They show videotaped experiements and dissections. My friend had to paint her own classroom after vandalism because there was no money and the principal said to just hang a poster over the racial slur spraypainted there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

Equally bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see the same three moms whenever I walk into my child's grade school. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, either. They are always there.

They sit with their child at the lunch table every day (my child says), which makes me feel sad for their child who never gets the chance to decompress with classmates. I volunteer occasionally, and I can feel these moms staring at me in the hallway as if I'm a cat about to mark their turf. It can feel unsettling.

In the long run, these hover moms aren't doing their child any favors.

Maybe the kids want their parents there. Maybe the kids have food allergies or SN. Not all kids are ok to do things on their own.

[Anonymous]

unimportant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised in another country and we did not have any parent organization like PTA. A lot of what the PTA does here (celebrations, Math, literacy, Science, Reading, International nights, after school clubs, promotion ceremonies, prom, family nights) was actually done by teachers and students in my country, if it was done at all. We did not really have any staff appreciation events either. Of course, we also had to pay tuition and get our own lunch etc and had no kitchen and cafeteria either.

The schools are trying to fix a lot of social issues in this country. I can understand that to do that they need an organization like the PTA. If the schools can stick to just teaching and we remove the "Social" things like clubs, proms, promotion ceremonies, holiday celebrations, boosters, after school clubs, staff appreciation, talent show, book fairs etc - then we can do away with the PTA.

The PTA in our school raises funds to give school supplies to students, provide lab and PE equipment to the school, landscaping etc. I wonder why the school system cannot do this themselves? If we do not have the money in the school system then we need to pare down on these activities. There is really no need for class parties during Halloween or prom after parties.

Also there is no reason to have parent volunteers in the PTA. Pay these parents. That way we can prevent SAHMs from volunteering in the PTA. Because by earning a paycheck they will become WOHMs.

In my Focus school the bolded are run by teachers, not the PTA. Teachers actually pay for the holiday celebrations out of their own pockets because there are very few donations. Teachers also run after school clubs without any compensation. I stopped hosting an after school club because it cost me a lot of time, energy and money to coordinate and run the club. Plus I also had to wait until the last student was picked up and there were often parents running late which wasn't fair to my own kids. Our PTA does run the book fair twice a year which is very helpful. I think that a larger issue is that some schools are "haves" and others are "have nots" largely due to PTA funds.

If we remove all PTA activities, all the students in all the schools will get the same from the school system. We should also not have special programs for different students. Make everything equal.

Equally bad?

Well, can't have it both ways, can we? People want all the benefits that the whole school enjoys because of the volunteer work of a few parents, but then they resent that these volunteers are in the school. At the same time none of these parents want to volunteer themselves.