Do you make alternative dinners for your kids if they don't like what you made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

[Anonymous]

I don't, and I will force veggies or a small portion of what I made before i allow plain rice or noodles. Meaning if you don't like what i made, you have to eat 3-4 bites before I give you plain noodles/fruit/alternative. I want their palate exposed to different flavors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I feel that I have answered your question. Not sure how much clearer I can be? everything you mentioned are issues that prevent a child from perhaps eating certain foods so it is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.

[Anonymous]

No, dinner is dinner. They won't starve. They'll eat a big breakfast in the morning.

[Anonymous]

We do. But it's mostly because I refuse to kid-ify our meals. We eat a lot of spicy Indian food, and a lot of large salads. Both those things are no-gos for my daughter. I generally take the ingredients from them (e.g. rice, plain dal before adding spices, plain yogurt, or the cut-up veggies from the salad that she likes) and make her a special plate. But sometimes that's not enough to fill her up, so I'll microwave some turkey meatballs or give her some plain pasta on the side. I feel kind of guilty about doing this, but we're not the type of people who eat automatically kid-friendly food like roasted chicken breasts or ham and potatoes or whatever, so I do try to cut her some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.

To be clear, I wouldn't put my child in that situation. What I would do and have done is say, "I will be sending along a snack for her" and then letting her know she can accept the food offered or politely decline. I don't need to go into the whys of why my child won't eat something offered or why she can't, I have taught her to be polite in declining it, but some people here have decided to take the most malicious view of this and call the child difficult and never invite them back again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL, no.

DS eats if he's hungry. If not, we always offer a cup of milk before bed, and then he'll eat a big breakfast in the morning.

What's with the LOL? It doesn't reflect well on you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.

To be clear, I wouldn't put my child in that situation. What I would do and have done is say, "I will be sending along a snack for her" and then letting her know she can accept the food offered or politely decline. I don't need to go into the whys of why my child won't eat something offered or why she can't, I have taught her to be polite in declining it, but some people here have decided to take the most malicious view of this and call the child difficult and never invite them back again.

look, I think you are missing the point. It is not about YOUR kid or his/her health issues. If there is an issue and you don't tell me and just send along their own food, that is even more offensive that them declining. Do you not understand that? The good news is that I can tell by your posts that we would never be friends IRL so your kid would never be in our home anyway. Too much drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, no.

DS eats if he's hungry. If not, we always offer a cup of milk before bed, and then he'll eat a big breakfast in the morning.

What's with the LOL? It doesn't reflect well on you at all.

I am not this PP but I am guessing that it is laughable that someone would take the time to make more than one meal for a picky kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.

To be clear, I wouldn't put my child in that situation. What I would do and have done is say, "I will be sending along a snack for her" and then letting her know she can accept the food offered or politely decline. I don't need to go into the whys of why my child won't eat something offered or why she can't, I have taught her to be polite in declining it, but some people here have decided to take the most malicious view of this and call the child difficult and never invite them back again.

look, I think you are missing the point. It is not about YOUR kid or his/her health issues. If there is an issue and you don't tell me and just send along their own food, that is even more offensive that them declining. Do you not understand that? The good news is that I can tell by your posts that we would never be friends IRL so your kid would never be in our home anyway. Too much drama.

It seems to me as a NP there is plenty of drama to go around, Ms My Child Behaves Because She Eats Special Bread Your Kids Have Never Seen.

[Anonymous]

^^^WTF does that mean? Go have some coffee and try again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served. Not sure what you are asking. If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever. Any can affect what kids can or will eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents' fitness in raising them properly.

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.

To be clear, I wouldn't put my child in that situation. What I would do and have done is say, "I will be sending along a snack for her" and then letting her know she can accept the food offered or politely decline. I don't need to go into the whys of why my child won't eat something offered or why she can't, I have taught her to be polite in declining it, but some people here have decided to take the most malicious view of this and call the child difficult and never invite them back again.

look, I think you are missing the point. It is not about YOUR kid or his/her health issues. If there is an issue and you don't tell me and just send along their own food, that is even more offensive that them declining. Do you not understand that? The good news is that I can tell by your posts that we would never be friends IRL so your kid would never be in our home anyway. Too much drama.

I just said I would and do tell the parents that she is bringing her own snack. Can you even read? I DON'T go into her health issues because it's not their business. You think that's drama because you're a twit who thinks your kids eating x food makes them better than kid who eats y food.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not, never have. Dinner is dinner, we eat together whatever's been made. True, we never had to deal with health issues, but kids eat what adults eat; "kids' meals" are not an option. And kids drink water.

One of my children doesn't care for salami and the likes, so it's easy to avoid. My other child doesn't care for too spicy, but has grown to tolerate it pretty well. End of story. We all have preferences, we are humans, but ruling things out is a totally different thing. Just not allowed. I cook different things every day and the kids are expected -and do- eat it. It's just become a non-issue.

Again, things are different if allergies are present.

The whole "picky" eater thing is a product of American parents. And yes, I'm an immigrant.